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Husband shift work and juggling being a parent!!!!

(9 Posts)
Mama2708 Sun 29-Jan-17 22:14:21

Now please don't get me wrong, my husband is an amazing hubby and daddy. I'm so grateful that he's working in the current climate and I too will be back at work soon. However, please let me vent becuase I'm about to drop dead from exhaustion 😩

He tries his absolute best to support me and our son but he does some absolutely horrendous shifts and I literally feel like a single parent!

It's ok when he's on a 9-5 becuase he helps me with the baby, morning feed / putting to bed etc. He will then have about four night shifts or be on some crazy shifts where he just isn't home and I'm EXHAUSTED.

It's so selfish of me to moan but it's so so hard never having a bit of a lie in or any extra sleep and sometimes I feel that I have to juggle everything. My hubby however gets at least ten hours sleep becuase he gets the whole day to stay in bed when he's on nights.

Please tell me there are other mums out there who's partners work shifts and that you too are Sleep deprived, exhausted but so appreciative of what your hubby is doing for the family and yet super jealous that they get more sleep!

Namesarehard Sun 29-Jan-17 22:19:12

My husband has worked shits for 14 years. 12 hour night shifts and 12 hour morning shifts. We have 3 children. 13, 12 & 16 months. I remember him going back to work for 5x 12 hour night shifts when our middle child was a week old and our eldest was 16 months.
I'm not currently working since having our youngest. I have to juggle 2 schools and a toddler + clubs. It's not easy but you get used to it. You'll do fine. It's normal for us but I can see why it would be daunting to a new parent. X

Namesarehard Sun 29-Jan-17 22:19:57

Pmsl. Shifts! Not shits. Bloody phone. I'm weak laughing.

Coconut0il Sun 29-Jan-17 22:37:55

DP has always worked shifts. He often stays awake in the morning when he gets in to help out or he gets up about 2 hours before he has to go back out so I can have a break. I try to make sure he has 7 hours but I'll wake him up anytime after that if I need him. 10 hours uninterrupted? I'd be moaning too.

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt Sun 29-Jan-17 22:51:55

My DH doesn't work shifts but often has to travel for work and can be away for a week or two at a time. I often find myself swamped and exhausted from juggling work, chores and looking after DD. I get pretty fed up and resentful thinking of him holed up in a cosy hotel, watching anything other than CBeebies and having all his meals prepared for him. But he works hard to earn good money so that I can work part time, so I know I can't complain. But I do know where you're coming from.

PeachBellini123 Mon 30-Jan-17 13:29:44

He doesn't work shifts but I do all the night feeds as DH needs to be fresh for work (he does a lot of driving) and he's awful after no sleep.

I feel incredily resentful angry I don't think he realises how hard it is to cope with a crying baby and sleep deprivation.

Christmasbaby16 Mon 30-Jan-17 14:30:45

My husband is on shifts but 4 on/4 off. The days he's on is pretty intense as I basically sole parent for 24hrs for four days solid as he works long shifts and gets up to walk or hound prior to work too. He would get up in the night in a heart beat but I don't let him as don't want him being tired for work (meanwhile I prop my eyes open with matchsticks!). It is hard work and I feel your pain. Especially as he is also a wonderful husband and daddy. We are only 9 weeks in so still getting to grips!

Mama2708 Mon 30-Jan-17 15:42:19

I'm so relieved that there are people out there who understand. He's such a hard worker and I know he needs to be rested for work so it's horrible of me to moan.

Maybe it's just about me adjusting and accepting that mum and a dad's roles are very different.

Thanks all xxx

BToperator Mon 30-Jan-17 15:49:34

Do you get a break when he has days off? I think it is a bit unfair if you are struggling, and he is getting 10 hours sleep. Unless he is ill, surely he doesn't need that much?

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