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I can't handle the thought of

(5 Posts)
LauraMarling Sat 28-Jan-17 20:27:28

My daughter being in any way shape or form upset by something another has done to her.

I'm terrified about her getting bullied or feeling bad about herself in anyway. It's ruining my whole life I am constantly worried sick.

I know this is all part and parcel of life hmm but I don't understand how I just can't get over it. Because surely of every parent felt like this we would all be going crazy?

c737 Sat 28-Jan-17 20:35:56

Laura I am exactly the same. It has really ramped up for me lately for some reason and I am constantly anxious about what school will be like for her and how I can protect her from all the nasty people in this world, which of course I can't. It's horrid.

Whatsername17 Sat 28-Jan-17 20:37:52

Why are you so worried about it? Have you had experience of being bullied? If so, it might explain your anxiety. For me, I believe that the only way we can protect our kids is to teach them to be honest and to be resilient. For example, when dd1 (5yo) falls over and recieved a minor bump she always looks to me for my reaction. I can see that it is minor so I cheerily say 'oh dear, up you get' and she responds similarly. If i were to go rushing over she would most likely get really upset because she would think that she is supposed to be upset. It's about teaching her to be resilient. It's the same with friendships. You have to teach them how to handle times when people aren't nice. By focusing on what you can do rather than worrying about brings you can't control you might find you feel less anxious.

LauraMarling Sat 28-Jan-17 20:48:49

I always try and be fair and reasonable and explain the best way too act when she has flouts with friends etc. "Aslong as you stay nice don't worry what everyone else is doing" she is a very resilient little girl. She is turning 7 in march and it seems to be getting worse the older she gets.
I was bullied by my parents and family aswell as at school so yeah it does probably come from all that. Even though she is a much much happier child than I ever was, I just worry about her sooo much. It's all me and not her, I just wish I could switch the thoughts off sad

c737 Sat 28-Jan-17 20:56:23

I think, for me, I was quite a shy and unhappy child and I desperately don't want that for her (my dd is only 3). I realise, looking back at my life, I've never really demonstrated any resilience in situations and have fallen to pieces quite a lot, which is part of the reason I'm so determined that she will have resilience.

It is totally my own projecting anxieties acting here but I agree it's so hard to turn the thoughts off. She recently said 'you're not my friend!' to me when I asked her to do something she didn't want to do, and it upset me so much to think that she had probably picked this up from nursery when another kid had said it to her.

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