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The difference between an accident and intentionally

(1 Post)
outnumberedbyboys123 Wed 25-Jan-17 15:01:10

My 3 year old is at nursery part time. He loves it there, though is quiet and sensitive. He has been complaining of another child hitting/pinching him regularly. I spoke with the teacher a few weeks ago and she was keeping an eye saying this other child is more 'in your face' whereas my son likes his personal space and doesn't like other children being too close.

This child has been caught pinching him once, a few weeks ago. The child was punished and their parents told. I'm confident the school will deal with problems. My son thoroughly enjoys nursery.

I had suspicions that things weren't as bad as my son was making out, because if we were to brush past him at home or something similar he would instantly say "you hit me". We have been trying to teach him the difference between knocking someone by mistake and someone intentionally hurting someone else.

Since last speaking with his teacher he has carried on saying almost daily that this child hit him, pushed him, pinched him, etc. He hasn't had any marks on him at all. I have spoken again with the teacher who said that she has noticed that my son will say the other child has hit him when he's accidentally knocked in to him or something. She then spoke with me after nursery today to say she had witnessed this child walking past my son (who was sitting on the carpet at the time) and knocking into him accidentally. My son then complained that this child had hit him.

My son is quiet around others, timid and sensitive. I do want him to learn the difference between someone hurting him intentionally and accidentally. I'm pleased he feels comfortable in telling his teacher and us that others have made him sad, but don't want him to tell tales.

Does anyone have any ideas on our best way of dealing with this? I want him to be able to tell us/his teacher when something does happen and to feel confident it will be dealt with, but don't want him to be telling tales on others when it isn't needed. I don't want him to worry about school and not be happy.

Sorry for the essay, and thank you.

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