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Please help, 2 y/o DD completely attached to dad!

(3 Posts)
user1472662923 Wed 25-Jan-17 14:43:11

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping someone can please give me some reassuring advice in relation to my 2 y/o daughter. She was born prematurely at 29 weeks so was in special care for 2 months - I'm not sure of this is related. Basically, she is completely attached to my husband. Everyone has just been saying it's just a phase including other mums who say it's happened with their daughters for a couple of months. I would expect that and think that's pretty normal, however my LO has been like this since she turned one. It's also increased to the point where of if daddad is around and i even look at her she scowls and says 'nooo' and shakes her head. She screams even more if I try to comfort her and will only stop crying when dad picks her up. She always sits and snuggles with him and if we're out anywhere my husband has to do everything. She wants him to carry her and snatches away from me. When he's not around then she is generally ok. I work 3 days a week and have her two full days, the other days she's at nursery and then one day with grandma. I'm just feeling incredibly down at the moment and I can't stop myself from getting upset. I've been quite patient up until now hoping it's just a phase, but it's starting tomake me quite depressed and a complete failure. My daughter just sees her dad as her primary caregiver. Just recently on a couple of occasions where it's been really bad I've even thought I hate her and wish I hadn't had a baby! How bad is that? I also feel very jealous of them both which leads me to feel hatred towards my husband too and we're falling out a lot and arguing. He's not affectionate to me at all and he doesn't always help the situation by being quite unsympathetic. He just doesn't understand what it's like at all. I also had a miscarriage recently, so the combination of everything just makes me think I wasn't supposed to be a mother. I know you will thinkthink I'm a terrible person but I've even wanted to just walk out. I'm so sorry to witter on. Basically, could it be like this forever? And do you think it could be because I wasnt able to bond with her at birth due to her being in special care? What can I do, antidepressants? I feel like I'm going to go out of my mind.

wineapotamus Wed 25-Jan-17 23:14:06

Oh dear. I felt very similar with my ds from the ages of about 1-2. He always called for dad at night, cried when he was left with me etc. Horrible horrible time.i convinced myself it was due to emcs and difficulty breastfeeding but it passed it time, after peaking at 15 months, and in the end went the other way. He wouldn't let daddy do his story for a very long time and had a pink fit if I went out. Now he's 5 and pretty even in his affections. Hope things improve for you. Does your husband know how badly it's affecting you?

Whatsername17 Thu 26-Jan-17 16:40:33

You need to try and do things as a three instead of competing with daddy. When she hugs daddy give him a hug too. My dd did the same with her dad at a similar age. You need to get your dh on board too. He needs to make an effort to involve you in their cuddles. It is a phase, it's horrible, but it will pass.

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