Anyone offer some help?

[sobeyondthehills]

DS is 4, the last few times I have picked him up at school, more or less as soon as we get out the gate he has a massive strop. It can be about anything.

This afternoon, I needed to go to the shops and ran out of time, so picked him up and then headed to the shops. This started a strop, as the first thing he said was can we get a treat from the shops. I said no, because we were not going to that shop, just to the local one. I didn't say no to the treat just no to getting one from that particular shop.

In the middle of this, we had stopped so I could inform him, if he didn't stop then we would be going straight home, a man walked past (stranger) and said why don't you do as your told. This meant that the strop which was calming down, went straight up to epic.

We came straight back home. Calmed him down, got him a snack and started playing. He then lost a game of snap, and started again, this time, I told him to sit on the sofa to calm down, which resulted in him hitting me four times.

Now he has no tv for the day (for the hitting) and his fav toy taken off him.

I just really don't know if I am doing this all wrong and could do with some advice.

Sorry for going on but I wanted to try and get it all in.

[Rabbit01]

Hi Sobeyond, has he just started school? Have you tried taking a snack and drink and giving it to him when you greet him at school? He could be exhausted and hungry. Perhaps you could try just going home straight after school and giving him some down time to see if that helps?

[Dragongirl10]

I agree with Rabbit.
It sounds like he is overtired and overstimulated when you collect him.

l used to bring healthy snacks for my Ds and DD at that age to give them as soon as they came out of school, so sweet peppers, cucumber sticks, carrot sticks, apple slices, bananas.

If you walk home he can eat on the way, a good distraction and he has time to calm down and refuel at the same time. Sugary snacks will escalate his feelings so fruit and vegetables are good.

l would try to avoid going shopping and get straight home, less opportunity for conflict. Also my Ds really benefited from 30 mins of tv as soon as he got home to allow him to relax ( with more healthy snacks too) Then at least you can be relaxed about what he eats for tea if he is tired and fussy.

He is very little so is probably feeling oveloaded, so avoid conflicts first, but then sanctions as you are doing if he still is naughty.

Oh and avoid sugary drinks after school,( this was almost guaranteed to set my DD off)

Even now mine are 9 and 10 respectively l still do the healthy snacks on pick up...now often cheese and crackers or tomatoes, and water on the journey home then they are calmer and ready to tackle homework as soon as they get in.

[Toomuchginger]

Some kids hold it together when they are in school and release it when theyre safe with mum.

[SomedayMyPrinceWillCome]

Same as above - my DS (4) always needs food as soon as he is out of the classroom, sometimes he even sits & eats it in the playground. He also needs a physical release - so we usually stop at the playground for 10-15 mins so he can relax his muscles by running around after 6 hrs having to sit still & concentrate at school

[sobeyondthehills]

Thank you all. He is in reception. He gets a snack as soon as we get home, you can see the school from where we live, but I might try giving him a few carrot sticks as soon as we get out.

This was very much a one off, having to go to the shops, normally its straight home for something to eat.

But at least the last four times, he has had a massive strop as soon as he leaves the school, when we have been going straight home.

DS seems to react badly to a lot of sugary things, for example things like chocolate seem to send him hyper. So on a school night I do tend to avoid anything like this, but I am very lucky, he prefers water over anything else. And loves his fruit and veg, which don't have the same effect.

Thank you all for your tips, I will start trying them out tomorrow and see how we go.