Chores for a 7 year old?(9 Posts)
I am so sick of doing everything in my house and having to think for everyone.... Things have to change around here!
My DS is 7 and is sooooo lazy and is very rude to me, I feel like he has absolutely no respect for me or the house. I know it's my fault because I've always cleaned up after him but now I must do something!!!
What chores/responsibilities can I give him? Your ideas and experiences will be much appreciated. X
Mine have one the following from a Young age;
Put dirty clothes in laundry bin
Help laying table
Tidy up at the end of the day.
Now they are a bit older, they do/help with the following;
Take recycling out
Put clean folded clothes away
Help out with cleaning - dusting, wiping down the table, hoovering
It's not strict. Just a general attitude that they're expected to muck in and help.
My 7yr old:
- dusts & hoovers
- clears his plates away
- loads & unloads the dishwasher
- tidies up after himself (incl putting towels away)
- makes toast & cold drinks
These chores are shared between him, me and ds1. Ds1 has a few more things he does as well, and I do all of that plus more. We talk about pulling our weight to make the house work well for all of us.
Oh, and a tactic that works for us:
Our house rule is that if you do a job badly, it must mean you need more practice, so not only do you have to do it properly, you have to do it the next time it needs doing (rather than taking it in turns as usual).
This seems to stop the learned helplessness thing where they do it badly hoping you'll get so fed up that you'll do it yourself. It does take more effort in the beginning, but it really helps.
My dds are 7 and 9 they do
Tidy their rooms
Make their beds
Put washing in laundry basket
Take out recycling
Set the table
9 yr old also
Puts clean clothes away
My 7 year old is still in the infant section at school. Chores are not expected.
I was coming on to say mine don't have any chores.
But then I read everyone else's and I'm the same - I have expected them to take out their own dirty plates, put their clean clothes away, put their own washing in the laundry basket, put away toys at the end of the day and keep their bedrooms tidy from toddlerhood.
I don't count those as chores tbh, they are just normal clearing up after yourself and taking responsibility for your own possessions.
Chores are things like emptying the dishwasher, putting away the shopping, hanging out the washing, sweeping, hoovering, cleaning, laying the table. Tbh they do those things sometimes too, but just occasionally when asked (or they ask to do it), so I don't view it as them having chores that they have to do regularly.
We are starting with looking after self for DS same age, with a touch of helping others in the house and gradual increase in responsibility over time very slowly.
Personal independence motivates him.
He is warmly noticed and thanked for any help which helps others especially if he does without being asked see 4 + below.
Pocket money does not motivate his contribution, perhaps it is too abstract for him, anything to do with time and the clock complicates things as he still finds the clock a bit of a mystery.
1 Making own breakfast
He likes warm milk so he even pours the milk from a 4 pint bottle into a jug and microwaves it himself to an agreed plan 200ml of milk gets two presses on the microwave. When he accidentally spilt it he was shown once how to wipe it up and from then on his responsibility to deal with spills. His plates and cups are in a low drawer so he can reach everything he needs.
2 Getting own drinks (he only drinks water anyway)
3 Getting self up and washed when his alarm goes off so not requiring us to chase him around first thing in the morning.
4 Putting his plates and cups on the draining board after use, recently including ours sometimes at evening meal times (over several years the dishwasher may become his responsibility to fill and in a few years after that to empty also when he can reach the high cupboards)
5 Letting the dogs in or out to the garden when they ask rather than ignoring them and letting an adult do it. He now holds the lead for our very small dog in safe places too which is always described as a very responsible task.
6 Just this week we got new laundry baskets and he was interested so we explained one was for lights and one for dark clothes and how to separate pants from trousers and empty pockets and he will from now on place his washing in the baskets rather than on the floor (hopefully).
We failed to get him interested in setting the table for evening meals so abandoned the idea for that without any fuss a few months ago, then he has randomly recently started doing it (ish!) as a meal is being plated up and is warmly thanked for his contribution/or congratulated for team work and for noticing that help would be appreciated without being asked.
Not every day goes smoothly but I feel we are going in the right direction.
Possibly the most important point here: DH and I work well around domestic task and probably look like a team so he is actually just joining in.
Do you other households members visibly contribute?
Thank you so much for your suggestions, they have really helped give me an idea of what I can get him to do to help round the house
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