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Dc2 due, 18 month age gap, panicking.......

(17 Posts)
Nottalotta Sat 21-Jan-17 19:49:38

Any tips?

Ds will be 18 months when dc 2 arrives in a week or two. He is very busy and active, just this last couple of weeks gaining a bit more of an attention span for staying in one room for more than a minute. Likes being outside and active.

Has spent lots and lots of time just me and him, but also used to days with grandparents.

I feel like I have no idea how I will do STUFF with two of them, washing up, cooking etc.

I feel happier about the idea of strapping them into the car leaving the house I think, but likely to have a c section.

Husband will be working 7 - 5.30 ish so should be home for bedtime.


Artandco Sat 21-Jan-17 19:55:17

15month gap here. Ds2 lived in a sling the first 6 months. Meant he could feed and sleep on demand, and I was mobile to follow eldest. We read a lot of books.
And lots of walks to wear eldest out so he had long afternoon nap

Frazzled2207 Sat 21-Jan-17 19:57:15

I had a 20month gap. They're nearly 2 and 4 now. It's been hard going but is a bit easier now.

Tbh I think you need to lower your standards about getting stuff done, when I was on my 2nd mat leave I had elder child in nursery four half days which helped, that was pretty much the only time, other than maybe naptimes and after bedtime, I got stuff done.
Also I put dh in charge of them on Sunday afternoons while I did some too.

It is a bit easier now, they will at least watch tv quietly while I do stuff.

But I don't think there is an easy answer.
Friends of mine with 2 found it easier if
Dc2 was happy to sit in bouncy chair etc.
Mine never didconfused

Chattycat78 Sat 21-Jan-17 20:09:30

17 month gap here. Yes it's hard. Don't Expect to get loads of chores and stuff done when you have them both alone. Sling is amazing. Get to toddler groups and put baby in the sling. If you can afford it, nursery for the older one- mine goes 2 days a week- gives me a chance to catch up on chores and spend time with the baby.

Nottalotta Sat 21-Jan-17 20:11:54

Thanks, my standards are pretty low already, ds was an unputdownable baby....... And is now a toddler that just goes and goes.

Art - any tips on slings for feeding in? I have a stretchy wrap and a baby bjorn carrier.

Ds is crap at napping too. Yikes.

Chattycat78 Sat 21-Jan-17 20:12:16

I also had a c section the second time which was tricky for the first month because I couldn't lift the very heavy toddler. Dh had some time off to help and grandparents also chipped in. Saying that, baby was unfortunately in SCBU, so I had to spend most of my time in hospital for the first 2 weeks at least, so I couldn't look after the toddler anyway for that time.

Nottalotta Sat 21-Jan-17 20:14:15

Dm and Mil will have ds a day or two each week which they did when I was at work. But will probably need to come and just be at my house to start if I have a c section.

TheEagle Sat 21-Jan-17 20:15:32

I have 18.5 months between DS1 and my DTs.

It wasn't easy in the beginning (still isn't!) but for me it was much better than being heavily pregnant with a toddler.

Lots of songs, games, jigsaws, stickers for the toddler. Fresh air is your friend - we used to run around the garden with the twins watching us from their bouncers in the shade (summer).

Having DH home for bedtime will also help immensely.

Definitely lower your standards and accept all offers of help.

Good luck flowers

Artandco Sat 21-Jan-17 20:20:09

Not - I recommend the boba 4g. Easy to use from newborn, can feed baby in, and same one can be used on back with toddler. So can swap around who goes in it when. The baby Bjorn will kill your back quickly

Also keep some things for toddler that are quiet, tidy and can be done next to you on sofa if you feeding. Mega sketcher - he can draw without mess. Where's wally books - takes ages, can do alone or together. Story tapes - if he hasn't or won't nap, get him to lay on sofa under blanket and put story tape on for him.

Food wise. Get toddler to help. Doesn't seem helpful but then you know where he is, can pass time as activity, and they can munch on raw stuff whilst 'helping'. Remember simple foods like scrambled egg for lunch, or whatever are fine.

Nottalotta Sat 21-Jan-17 20:20:28

Bloody hell. Twins!! So it should be easier than that then......

Yes I am pinning my hopes on it being easier than being heavily pregnant.

TheEagle Sat 21-Jan-17 20:24:53

Oh it's definitely better having newborn(s!) and toddler than being pregnant with toddler! And that was after an EMCS!

We had the living room as a safe space so toddler could poke around safely while I was busy with babies.

Take each day as it comes.

My toddler used to sit on the couch beside me as I fed the twins or else he'd perch on the feeding pillow. Sometimes he used to be very cross at the amount of times they'd want to BF but he soon got used to it.

You'll do great!

Nottalotta Sat 21-Jan-17 20:25:00

Thanks Art, I didn't get on with the wrap really. The baby bjorn I used daily with ds, even mucking out with it, but yes it did make my back ache and I stopped using it so much around 6 months.

Will look up the mega sketch. He's just so bloody active.......

Chattycat78 Sat 21-Jan-17 20:25:08

I would also recommend being up, showered and dressed before dh goes to work. It will be much harder to try to get ready with them both alone. Doing this also helps me to mentally prepare for the day ahead.

I also have a double buggy. Useful for getting out with them both without needing the car.

Chaotica Sat 21-Jan-17 20:35:05

15m gap here.

Sling. And I was going to suggest a double buggy too.

The first year was non-stop exhausting hell fun. You can go out with the LO in a sling/the buggy and tire out the toddler. I think I might have spent 3 years of my life doing that. But now it's great because they get on so well.

Chattycat78 Sat 21-Jan-17 20:36:47

Oh and I'm using an Ergobaby sling- really like it. I had a material one really early on when ds2 was tiny.

Artandco Sat 21-Jan-17 20:44:23

The boba 4g is clips and straps, no tying required - look up on you tube

DramaAlpaca Sat 21-Jan-17 20:49:04

16 month gap with the first two here. I won't lie, it was hard. But it's really worth it & they've grown up so close. No regrets.

I had a double buggy & DC2 spent a lot of time in a sling. We did lots of toddler groups and trips to the park.

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