Talk

Advanced search

Pregnant with third after big age gap, advice please?

(31 Posts)
Kayleighann Fri 20-Jan-17 11:31:44

We decided to start ttc in December but after talking about it realised we have such a good thing going with our 2 children, life's easy and enjoyable and decided to stick with 2 providing it wasn't already to late, well I've just found out I'm pregnant a few days ago.
I'm now feeling really panicky about having another one after such a big age gap.
I hardly slept last night worrying.
I'm worried about sleepless nights again, my son had health probs and was in hospital a lot so it terrifies me that something bad will happen again.
I'm worried the kids will be upset with a screaming baby in the house,
We have a 3 bed house so someone's going to have to share and with such a big age gap it doesn't seem right.
I'm worried about holidays and days out with 3 kids, the price the stress.
The big age gap meaning no one wants to go to same place.
Has anyone got a similar age gap?
I think because we decided not to go for a third I've talked my self out of it with all the negatives about having a third and now ive terrified myself. Xx

seadragonusgiganticusmaximus Fri 20-Jan-17 11:34:26

Err... How big is the gap?

Kayleighann Fri 20-Jan-17 11:36:07

Sorry I forgot to put that in, Ds10 and DD 8 so once baby's here 11 and 9 xx

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 11:44:15

I've got a nearly 12 and 6 year old and am pregnant with my 3rd (all girls)! We only have a 2 bed rental and it's a squeeze but we work it out. I think all the extra panic is down to you not planning the baby but I'm sure you will work it out. I've yet to experience what it will be like but ypur older to will probably be keeping themselves entertained and even be able to help out with the small things.

Obviously I don't know the dynamics of your family but hopefully fingers crossed, they'll be very excited to have a new addition. Easy said when you're all having sleepless nights!

Your others may well sleep through the night time cries, you just never know. Hopefully it'll all fall into place, don't put too much expectation on going away on expensive holidays unless that's what you're used to? Kids love camping just as much as going abroad usually!

Good luck x

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 11:44:57

Sorry, planning baby then changing your mind*

Kayleighann Fri 20-Jan-17 11:56:51

Thank you smellysphinx, wat did ur older 2 say wen u told them ur expecting?x

Cwtchythings Fri 20-Jan-17 12:03:55

I'm 31 weeks with my third, my others are 7&9. I'll tell you how it goes in a few weeks! The baby will be in my room for the first year and then I'm not sure what will happen as I have a 3 bed house too. We will move house or extend probably but that is a future problem smile
Both of my kids are very excited. I have exactly the same doubts as you, though! How I'm going to drag a baby around all the after-school activities I don't know, but it will work out.

Congratulations! flowers

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 12:05:25

Not much really haha, they have gotten more excited as baby is nearly here. The younger one has allocated herself some jobs to do for the baby, eldest is just taking it in her stride really. No jealousy, no moaning! We try to do what we can for all so it's fair, we're skint mostly so don't gonon days out much, but honestly the kids don't mind, happy days :D

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 12:06:19

Sorry for all the terrible spelling, I type quickly and only notice afterwards! blush

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 12:06:22

Sorry for all the terrible spelling, I type quickly and only notice afterwards! blush

Pootles2010 Fri 20-Jan-17 12:08:39

So I can't help with three kids thing, but have 6 year gap between my two boys - Ds1 is delighted with his little brother. He drags his teacher over to see him every day at pick up! He sleeps straight through night time waking/crying, lucky bugger.

I don't know how people do it with a small gap - I couldn't cope with baby and toddler!

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 12:09:20

Oh yeah and logistically baby will be in moses basket with us then we're going to squeeze in a cot with us until we can find and afford somewhere a bit bigger. You just make do and we are never on top of each other really, it is what you make it. I suppose the thing is your two are used to having their own individual space which mine aren't.

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 12:09:21

Oh yeah and logistically baby will be in moses basket with us then we're going to squeeze in a cot with us until we can find and afford somewhere a bit bigger. You just make do and we are never on top of each other really, it is what you make it. I suppose the thing is your two are used to having their own individual space which mine aren't.

Thingywhatsit Fri 20-Jan-17 12:09:40

I had my 2nd when ds was 11.5, it's not too bad. Was easier when dd was a baby as was more portable then! It's got a bit harder now that she is older. Am a single parent too and we have managed. It's the taxi runs I find difficult and made baby having a proper nighttime routine harder as she would fall asleep in car when I didn't want her too, other than that it's quite nice having a big age gap and they are the best of friends.....

BobbinThreadbare123 Fri 20-Jan-17 12:11:57

There is a huge gap between two of us and the 'baby'. We were 10 and 13 when she was born. I think my mum appreciated the help that older children can give. I am the eldest. The youngest and I are very close. She had the small room and we shared the big one, and then we moved to a 4 bedroom house when my parents were a bit better off. My mum says it has kept her feeling younger; she went from being the youngest mum in the playground with me to being nearly one of the oldest! Although 25 years' worth of parents' evenings are apparently extremely dull!

It can work, but you can also choose not to have the baby.

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 12:12:24

SIGH

Sorry (again) for double posts, it's the app ffs. Was just going to add, I think a bigger age gap is better personally as it takes the strain off you haha but also the kids. I realise there are pros and cons in bith cases but the other kids are more independant, obviously thisnis the case if you have no other isssues family wise etc

SmellySphinx Fri 20-Jan-17 12:12:25

SIGH

Sorry (again) for double posts, it's the app ffs. Was just going to add, I think a bigger age gap is better personally as it takes the strain off you haha but also the kids. I realise there are pros and cons in bith cases but the other kids are more independant, obviously thisnis the case if you have no other isssues family wise etc

astonvanilla Fri 20-Jan-17 12:13:34

I was nearly 9 when my little brother was born and my older brother was 11. I'm sure it was hard work for my parents but we could help out with the baby. Fast foward nearly 30 years and I am very close to my little brother and can't imagine not having him around. Congratulations and I hope everything works out.

Kayleighann Fri 20-Jan-17 12:17:31

Thx cwtchythings and congratulations to you too.
I'm glad I'm not alone in the worrying.
I know it's all silly stuff I'm worrying about but I feel like my life is so calm now and I'm about to throw in a whole lot of chaos.
How's ur pregnancy been? That's another worry- I get terrible sickness from about wk 6. X

seadragonusgiganticusmaximus Fri 20-Jan-17 12:18:11

OK so a bit more than us. 7 year gap between DC3 and (unplanned) DC4. Little bit of jealousy from DC3 when she realised she was no longer the baby of the family and an extension of my retirement date sad have been the only issues. He happily shared a room with big brother (11year gap) for a few years until we upsized to 5 beds.

GoodStuffAnnie Fri 20-Jan-17 12:20:42

The baby will be the centre of the family. The older two will adore him her. This is what happened to me. The kids and us take absolute joy in every new word, every new milestone. Honestly, it will be lovely. Babies are wicked x

Kayleighann Fri 20-Jan-17 12:20:57

Smellysphinx I think that's the problem my 2 have always had their own room so are not used to sharing and altho sounds "spoilt" I feel sad having to make one of them share.

datingbarb Fri 20-Jan-17 12:35:58

I had my 4th after a big gap oldest were 11,9 and 7 and honestly it's fine prob easier I have all girls so they all play mum and is always somewhere happy to cuddle, play sit with the baby etc

datingbarb Fri 20-Jan-17 12:51:19

Forgot to say my oldest two (now 14 & 12) share a room and the youngest 9&2 share as I only have a 3 bed and it's fine

Kayleighann Fri 20-Jan-17 16:26:50

Thank you everyone for your replies it's nice to read other ppls experiences. X

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now