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What has happened to my lovely 3 year old?

(7 Posts)
Whatfreshhellcanthisbe Thu 19-Jan-17 18:48:44

Oh God, sorry that this is so long. Until now, DD has always been a bit lively, and always had strong views on what she wanted, but it was always manageable. Since Christmas, I just don't know what has happened, or what to do.

Every time I say no to anything at all (eg. not having chocolate biscuits for breakfast, not eating food on the velvety sofa, not carrying her because she is too heavy now for me to pick up), she has an absolute screaming fit, lies down on the ground/kicks me and howls inconsolably. She also needs my full attention at absolutely every moment; previously, she would play on her own for a little while, but today I literally couldn't speak a full sentence to my Dad, go to the loo, make her lunch or run upstairs to get her a clean top for 30 seconds without her shouting or screaming continuously for me and demanding that I come back and play with her. She howled at me all the way in the car back from soft play because I wasn't playing with her - I was trying to drive us home safely! When I ask, she says that she is very sad and cross because she "just wants me to do what she says", but obviously I have some other things I also need to do in order to keep us both fed and our family functioning, and also I need to explain that ultimately, I am the parent here.

I feel desperate and horribly, horribly guilty because have now ended up snapping at her a few times today when at my absolute wits' end from all of her shouting at me. I don't know whether this is all because I am pregnant and have been very sick (and therefore largely unavailable to her to play) over Christmas. She seems delighted about her future sibling, and this behaviour all started before we told her about the baby, but as I say, I spent most of Christmas in the bathroom. Is this something all 3 year olds go through? She suddenly seems to need so, so much from me and I am struggling and feeling guilty. Is this normal? Or actually, is it that I am being pregnant and over emotional and unreasonable? I am ashamed of how I am reacting to it but it is so all consuming.

relaxitllbeok Thu 19-Jan-17 18:54:40

Normal. But hard. Book recommendation: How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.

paddlenorapaddle Thu 19-Jan-17 19:02:28

It's the age 3 is horrendously hard plenty of coping strategies and some really good books ^^

ElsieBobo Thu 19-Jan-17 19:17:06

I have the exact same with my 2.5 DD, since s month or so after new baby arrived. It's mentally exhausting. No advice as clearly I've not cracked it either, but following for other's advice.

Whatfreshhellcanthisbe Thu 19-Jan-17 19:37:11

Thanks all. God, it's really something, isn't it?!

PotatoWaffleCob Thu 19-Jan-17 19:49:48

Mine is the same, don't worry. DH took over after work last night as I just couldn't bear to be near her anymore. I cried in my room instead. I've got a 3month old too who doesn't get nearly enough attention because the 3yo is such a diva. They aren't called threenagers for nothing.

chloechloe Thu 19-Jan-17 22:07:30

I don't have any advice but can sympathise as my 22mo is similar. She has a melt down every time I close the fridge or a kitchen cupboard as she wants to empty out the contents!

It may be worsened by the fact you have a another one on the way as I think they do feel that a big change is on the way.

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