How to handle 3 year old behaviour

[TropicPlunder]

Particularly in public or if you're in a rush. I mean things like refusing to get coat on/get in car seat/leave somewhere fun. If we're at home and have time, it's much easier to give options/consequences or just not give attention to the behaviour. But a few times recently we've been out and I've ended up wrestling her into a coat/car seat....after talking, giving chances and options failed. I know sometimes there's just not time but forcing her did not feel right and ended in hysterics. How do you do it? Interested in your experiences!

[TropicPlunder]

Cheeky bump....

[Phoenix76]

I've got one of these threenagers too! It always happens when you're in a rush/stressed! This is going to sound weird but as you're asking I'll confess what has worked for me. I've bought a couple of "personalised" cd's for the car. The ones that say their name while telling stories, singing songs etc. If I see mine is about to meltdown I say "come on, if we're quick we can put your cd on", it has actually worked, maybe worth a try!

[user1469751309]

Shamelessly place marking! I am pretty much the same situation with my DD also 3 (just!) You are not alone OP. I hate looking like the crazy shouty mum yelling at a 3yr old with huge chocolate brown butter wouldn't melt eyes!

[TropicPlunder]

Good ideas and good to hear! I'm armed with stickers and extra snacks for tomorrow's comings, goings and bargaining. I think I just need new tactics, picking her up and putting her where she needs to go used to work, after warnings etc..but today was quite a scene with kicking and screaming at a level which is a bit new

[notjustamum2]

I make it a race.. so " I bet you can't get your shoes on" or "I'm gonna put my coat on first" this works sometimes but what works great at the minute is " don't put your shoes on.. I'm gonna look in my bag and you'd better not put your shoes/coat etc on.. Or " don't climb in the.car seat if.I look this way"
No sure how long it'll work for!!

[Tanito279]

I do the following: oh goodness me listen to that noise. You sound like a very tired little baby. I think you need to go home to bed. (She then starts saying she's not a baby). Well if you're not tired then you need to show me. Get in the car seat and let's talk about what we'll play/eat when we get home.
On the odd occasion that I have had to force her into the car seat, I have taken her home and put her straight to bed for 10 mins so she knows it's not an idle threat. DD is 3 and will probably be a menace tomorrow now I've written this!

[MapMyMum]

Not sure about that notjustamum, when you say dont eat the rubbish or dont touch the hot oven how will she know its not ok to do it if yohre always saying dont put your shoes on and then not saying anything when shes done what youve told her not to?

As above Id have things you can use to speed her up - snacks/music/races with you/lets go see Daddy/the ducks etc. Also plenty of warning that home time or leaving time is coming up so for example 'we're going to finish this book and then we need to put pur coats on and go on an adventure' something like that

[SerialReJoiner]

Making a game of it works a lot of the time - I'll pretend to out her shoes on my feet for instance.

What works the most often is to simply acknowledge her thoughts/feelings. So if she's angry about leaving someplace fun, I'll say "you are upset we have to leave now. You wish we could stay" or whatever. She usually calms down quickly after we have a short discussion about her emotions. (Sometimes I get it wrong! She'll say she isn't upset, she's CROSS)

[TropicPlunder]

Great, I like the racing idea, making it a bit fun. And yes, empathy works for us sometimes, I just need to retrieve myself from the end of my tether to give that another go!

[notjustamum2]

It's clear it's a game. My tone of voice is very different when saying not to touch the oven etc!!
It just makes it less if a battle