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Am I a 'hard' mum?

(34 Posts)
bananasmoothie Fri 23-Feb-07 10:48:44

My son had a friend over for tea last night, they're 8.

I made spaghetti bolognese and left it on the plates as most people do, spaghetti on bottom and bolognese on top, that's how my kids have always had it.

Anyway my sons friend looked a bit confused, looked at me and said very politely "erm, I don't have mine like that, I don't like it...could you please mix it up for me so that the spaghetti turns red?"

Due to the polite way in which he asked I did it for him but I was a bit confused as to why he doesn't just mix it up himself?? My kids always some parents pander to their kids too much or am I just a witch?

MamaG Fri 23-Feb-07 10:49:42


Twiglett Fri 23-Feb-07 10:49:48

I dont think 8 year olds have the co-ordination to mix spaghetti without getting it everywhere do they?

MamaG Fri 23-Feb-07 10:50:10

i always mix my sauce into my pasta

not that its relevant

other people's kids are weird

themildmanneredjanitor Fri 23-Feb-07 10:50:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

justaphase Fri 23-Feb-07 10:50:50

it is only spagetti....

chacha3 Fri 23-Feb-07 10:52:16

yes i think so! i am bringing my kids up to be independent and do things for themselves or at least try and if they cant then ask for help! unless he just felt more comfortable askin you to do it!

Twinkie1 Fri 23-Feb-07 10:52:52

Sauce is always supposed to be mixed with the pasta before it goes to the table (apparently you always put the pasta into the sauce too and not the other way around - have been laughed at by one of DHs wanky Italian mates for making this mistake on more than one occassion - he no longer comes to dinner!!) - obviously his family are just better brought up than yours and know that this is the way the world works!!

PinkTulips Fri 23-Feb-07 10:53:49

lol... dd is 2 and can mix her own spag bol!

is he a pfb by any chance?

MrsPhilipGlenister Fri 23-Feb-07 10:54:17

My 5-year old recently asked someone else's mum to wipe his bottom! I was so mortified .

rey Fri 23-Feb-07 10:54:37

my vote is ...


then again I pamper too much... sometimes... maybe too often compared to some....

Caligula Fri 23-Feb-07 10:54:59

Oh god you think that's bad, I had a kid over the other night who had to have his ketchup at a specific spot on his plate in a specific shape.

[Rolls eyes]

Needless to say, I couldn't do it. My kids just looked puzzled and DD looked as if a whole new world was opening. "Mummy can I have my ketchup like that?"

"No dear, only guests can have it like that. You do it the way you always do. Sorry Germanicus, I haven't quite got it quite the way you described, I'm afraid I'm not such an expert at doing it that way as your Mummy, but I think if you try a chip in it, it'll taste the same, what d'you think?"

Bloody playdates.

Enid Fri 23-Feb-07 10:55:35

oh you lot are so horrid to the kids that come for tea

you really are

mix it for him and don't think twice about it!

MamaG Fri 23-Feb-07 10:57:06

lol at twinkle

moonshine Fri 23-Feb-07 10:57:09

I always mix my sauces and pasta as well (as do my Italian parents ). Maybe he was worried he would make a mess because spaghetti does go everywhere, or maybe it just didn't occur to him (some children just don't have the logic and commonsense at this age do they?).

rey Fri 23-Feb-07 10:57:39

Caligula, like mine that child is obviously used to cordon blue dishes

told you I was a pamperer but then again, half of the enjoyment is in the presentation isn't it. Think it's good the children were able to speak up and weren't scared of you and bananasmoothie
now I really must get some work done!

chacha3 Fri 23-Feb-07 10:58:09

i have spagetti on plate first and, then the sauce in the middle and most people i know do too! think its up to the person whos cooking it! lol

WanderingTrolley Fri 23-Feb-07 10:59:23

I would have done the same as you, bananasmoothie, with the addition of

"Watch me now, here's how you can do it"

and get him to help.

dont' get me started on the subject of kids who can do nowt for themselves until their late teens, sheesh!

<hand wanders towards rehab brochure>

Enid Fri 23-Feb-07 11:00:12

god you miserable lot

Caligula Fri 23-Feb-07 11:02:26


I was very nice to ketchup-boy, I tried my best to get it in the shape he wanted (but tbh I didn't know what he was talking about)

serenity Fri 23-Feb-07 11:03:39

Mine have to serve themselves so they have it anyway they want - DS2 often has sauce at the bottom, spaghetti on top.

I'm extra hard, me.

pollyanna Fri 23-Feb-07 11:06:33

when ds was in year 1 he had a friend over after school who asked me to wipe his bottom [eww emoticon]

I pander to any school friends who come over much more than I do to my own children.

Legacy Fri 23-Feb-07 11:06:48

Oh god, life's too short to worry about things like this!

Don't you think families just develop foibles over time which they then forget to change as the kids get older?

I can see how the ketchup thing probably evolved...

In our house our food foibles would probably be:

"monkey blood" (Strawberry sauce) put inside the bottom of an ice-cream cone, before the ice cream, so it's a surprise at the end.

Pureed, or very finely chopped, onion in kids food, or else they didn't used to eat it (but I'm still doing it!)

And if DS2 (4) is having carrots and green beens at the same meal, he like the carrots chopped lengthways, as it 'looks better' ( future MasterChef in the making?)

Have to say I would have just done it, and laughed about it later.

bananasmoothie Fri 23-Feb-07 11:10:56

lol just to add I didn't mean this as a serious "omg" kind of topic...just a light hearted one about how much of a witch I am . Bless him....I couldn't faff about like that for my kids though, they'd wonder what was up with me!

moopymoo Fri 23-Feb-07 11:12:44

can you be sure that if your kids went to his house and the pasta was mixed with the sauce (as it is in our house) that they wouldnt object? All 8 year olds are a bit bonkers sometimes imo and pandering to a bit of food faddiness wont make them spoilt! part of being a mum imo, its not the army..

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