Lack of friends

[Lonelybutnice]

Hi all,

Nervous new poster here. I read the posts on here almost every day and always enjoy them.

I'm 34 with 3 lovely DC's and a lovely DH. Something has been bothering me for a while and it's bothering me more and more. I have very few friends. Not to dwell on it, but my mum was the type who very much discouraged every friendship I had (oh so and so is no good for you! They're not our type of people!) and now I feel I'm left rather lonely, or certainly lacking something in my life.

I am envious when I see others who have groups of friends who do nice things together and I really wish I had that too but I think I'm too late in life to find it now, those groups are already well established.

Does anybody have any advice for me please? Or has anybody been in a similar situation and managed to find a group of friends? I know it doesn't seem a big deal but it's making me a bit down in the dumps. Many thanks

[JayDot500]

Welcome Lovely

You sound friendly enough . Being honest with yourself, can you say you've objectively tried to go 'out there' to make friends? Or is this the beginning of your journey to change things for the better?

Sorry you feel down but no, it's not too late! Never too late

[Lonelybutnice]

Thank you for such a lovely reply :-) Well I suppose it's just starting to bother/dawn on me. I look at my 'friends' on FB and realise I never get invited to any weddings/christenings/parties/hen nights. I'd love a group of friends to socialise with.

There's a 'friend' from the school yard and she sometimes shames me for having no friends. I might be being paranoid but she says things like 'never trust a girl with no friends, oh lonely, are you going anywhere this weekend?' And she sometimes invites me to things then revokes the invite.

All of the above has brought it to the surface I guess and made me want to do something about it but at my age I think I'll struggle. I've made friends in toddler groups but that's limited to play dates; I was hoping for something more along the lines of girls nights out etc.

Thanks again for the reply :-)

[glueandstick]

She sounds awful! Don't listen to her. You have more worth than that.

[snoopyokay]

Oh my goodness how old is that woman who said that to you? I'm surprised you didn't punch her! She sounds positively awful.

Maybe you are just looking in the wrong places? Have you thought of joining a group/hobby to meet people? I know it's easier said than done sometimes!

[mistermagpie]

I don't have many friends, some of it is circumstantial (live far away from where I went to school/college, got divorced and lost a lot of friends to my exDH etc etc) and some is because I simply can't be arsed and don't really make an effort with people. If it bothers you then I think you are going to need to put yourself out there more. My DH has millions of friends but he is what I call an 'effort maker' and always keeps in touch and arranges things and will chat to new people and try new things. This is what you need to do really.