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Worried about my 5 year old's daughter's behaviour ... anger and biting(2 Posts)
I have a five year old daughter who is lovely. most of the time.
Because she is an only child, I try to make sure that we invite a friend round regularly, so she has someone to play with after school, and isn't always by herself after school. However recently I've noticed that when friends do come round, my daughter can often struggle to contain her emotions and gets angry. This often means that the play date can end really badly, which makes me feel awkward, upset, embarrassed, and worried about her, and her ability to make and keep friends.
For example, last month a girl her age came round to play. My daughter shouted at her because the game wasn't going well and made her cry. I was embarrassed because the little girl's mum is a friend of mine. I had to try to make things better but my daughter hasn't been invited back.
Yesterday, two little girls from our road came over to meet our new puppy and play. While I was in the kitchen, the girls were playing. Today I found out that my daughter bit each girl in turn because they weren't playing her game properly.
Of course, I am very worried and distraught. I can't help feeling terrible and responsible for the fact that my daughter is an only child, and therefore lacks the usual rough and tumble that siblings experience. She also doesn't get the chance to learn to share and compromise with other children. This is out of her control, so she perhaps is just not as experienced as other kids are. I'm really worried that she isn't going to be invited to other friend's houses as a result. The school she goes to is quite cliquey and playdates are thin on the ground as it is. I try to fill her week with activities eg swimming and things so she doesn't feel lonely after school - but perhaps I need to change my approach?
Her behaviour at school is absolutely fine, no reports of her being aggressive or biting - in fact if anything the teacher doesn't have anything bad to report at all, which is why I was so shocked about the biting yesterday.
I must admit that I have a short fuse myself - I don't have any family nearby so have been parenting mostly by myself for five long years .... sometimes I can be exhausted and get snappy with her, which I hate about myself. Could I possibly be influencing her with my behaviour - and if so, what can I do ?
Has anyone got any advice? Me and her dad have both had a long chat with her about how biting and shouting isn't acceptable behaviour - but what else can I do? or should I just take it easy with her - she's only five???? PLEASE HELP!!!! I don't want to blow this out of proportion but when you're tired and emotional and want your child to be happy, when days end like this it can feel like the end of the world.
Is she getting enough relaxation time and time to herself? Could it be she's overwhelmed and exhausted by the end of the day and unable to cope with yet someone else?
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