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Do I need a nursery or should I keep the spare room?

(42 Posts)
Tilly35 Tue 10-Jan-17 16:24:11

Hi, we have a bedroom which has, until now, been a guest room for family etc. So it has a large double bed. I'm wondering if I should get rid of the bed and go full on nursery or will I regret it and welcome having a room I can go to for night feeds and fall asleep if necessary? Negatives of keeping the bed are that MIL will try and stay over frequently (and expect waiting on whilst she 'helps' with the baby) possibly ending up living a separate life from DH if in a different bed, I won't have a pretty nursery to ooh and ahh over. Positives of keeping the bed are: I'll still be able to get a cot in with the bed and we've not really got the money to go all out on a nursery right now.
Sorry this is a bit of a dull post but I'm properly on the fence and clueless, thanks x

SausageSoda Tue 10-Jan-17 16:27:14

Where are you planning on the baby sleeping when he/she is old enough to move into their own room? Do you mean that the nursery will be the baby's bedroom or a room seperate from their bedroom?

reallyanotherone Tue 10-Jan-17 16:31:08

I've never figured out what a "full on nursery" is.

You just need a room with a cot that the baby can sleep in. Utter waste to replace furniture with "nursery" versions, which you'll need to replace again anyway.

I just put a cot in the spare room. The bed was extremely handy, as i could feed lying down in the evening and at nights, and it didn't matter if i dozed off.

Made no difference to mil staying, we just brought baby in with is for a couple of nights. She was still staying in the baby's room.

Ilovecaindingle Tue 10-Jan-17 16:32:17

You have answered your own question -
Nursery =no mil.

Tilly35 Tue 10-Jan-17 16:33:36

Yes the spare room will eventually be the child's room with all the gubbins that comes with that but just wondering whether to get rid of the big bed now or will it come in useful with a newborn? And for how long before it will actually need it's own space?

AndNowItsSeven Tue 10-Jan-17 16:33:55

I don't understand nurserys , baby sleeps with you for a minimum of six months and then goes into their own room.

Tubbyinthehottub Tue 10-Jan-17 16:41:06

Well I couldn't bear sharing a room with a baby. If you make it a child's room now, you won't have to do it when child is already born, which will be more difficult. I also couldn't bear having a MIL to stay so two birds with one stone.

Tilly35 Tue 10-Jan-17 16:41:10

All helpful, so I should just keep the spare room as it is and tell MIL it's now a nursery so buggar off?! grin

Lou2711 Tue 10-Jan-17 16:50:31

I don't use my DDs(4 months) bedroom at all, it would be much more useful to have a bed in there because I would have love to have co slept with her but dp sleeps so heavily I can't trust him with her in the bed. If your bf then being able to "breastsleep" is amazing and helps you get a better nights sleep. However if it keeps MIL out it could be worth it grin

Tubbyinthehottub Tue 10-Jan-17 16:56:17

Oh god, don't bf in bed in case you fall asleep and squash the baby.

AndNowItsSeven Tue 10-Jan-17 16:57:57

Tubby it's not about personal preference, putting a baby in their own room increases the risk of SIDs.

Tubbyinthehottub Tue 10-Jan-17 16:58:37

I know. I just couldn't sleep with all that snuffling.

Heirhelp Tue 10-Jan-17 17:01:36

Keep a spare bed for now.

skankingpiglet Tue 10-Jan-17 17:02:42

YY to Tubbyinthehottub's saying it'll be much harder to do the conversion once the baby is here (if you aren't planning on employing an interior designer to do it for you of course! grin).

Personally if the room is big enough I'd keep any drawers/wardrobes as per reallyanotherone's point, get rid of the existing bed, and add in a cot and day bed. The day bed can then be used for guests if necessary, or you/your OH to get some sleep away from baby in the early days, then a nice reading corner as the baby grows.

lornathewizzard Tue 10-Jan-17 17:03:07

We're actually just having this debate for DC2. We've decided to keep the double bed and just make space for the cot in there. Once he's ready for a big bed we can decide what we're doing then

AndNowItsSeven Tue 10-Jan-17 17:07:25

Boots muffles earplugs are great , then drown out snuffles etc but you can still hear baby cry.

AndNowItsSeven Tue 10-Jan-17 17:07:35


IWantATardis Tue 10-Jan-17 17:07:40

Bed in spare bedroom can be useful - lets one parent get a good nights sleep while the other sleeps in the same room as baby and does night feeds.

No real need to rush to get rid of beds in the spare room, especially if a cot fits in there too.

girlelephant Tue 10-Jan-17 17:09:01

Personally I loved creating the nursery before DS was born and now that he's here I love that his room is ready once he's old enough to sleep in it. We're so busy and I'm loving just being able to focus on DC now and once I go back to work this year I wouldn't have time to decorate! DH realised early on that a large part of my "nesting" was focusing on a nursery.

I've only missed our spare room once which was when DH had novovirus and I was scared DC or I caught it. We just had a couple of nights of using the living room couch as a bed.

Ultimately it's up to you but I would recommend nursery now. It also gives you somewhere dedicated to put all your baby gifts.

We have a nursing chair in our nursery so found that great for night feeds

If you think you'll have unwanted guests I would dedicate my recommend the nursery! grin

Bluntness100 Tue 10-Jan-17 17:09:19

So what will happen when someone comes to stay? Will you move the cot out or have them sleep with the baby? Would uou move into that room and give a guest yours?

I'd turn it into my child's bedroom, because that's what it's going to be.

Ilovecaindingle Tue 10-Jan-17 17:11:08

Nursery =no mil.

kel12345 Tue 10-Jan-17 17:13:30

I don't think it's necessary. My lo is 16 months and we only put him in his own room for the 1st time ever last night.
We will just be painting the walls blue, and he will have his bed and some toys in there, as well as furniture that was already here. I don't see the need for 'special' nursery furniture.
I didn't want him in his own room, we only did it now because when he goes in a bed he will be able to reach all our stuff. So it was the safer option.
I loved having him in our room

lalalalyra Tue 10-Jan-17 17:17:29

I'd keep it as it is. In my experience by the time the baby actually uses their own room you'll want it to be a room themed for them, rather than a neutral nursery.

A spare bed is handy for nights if there's colic/reflux/someone has a long drive and one of you wants to sleep away from the other parent and the baby.

Safe co-sleeping does make BF'ing easier in the night away, but check out all of the rules and recommendations (there should be no danger of Dad squashing the baby because the baby should never ever be in the middle!).

Do you have other guests who come to stay? Your parents? Siblings? Friends? Will taking the bed away change having your MIL or will she just end up on a camp bed or on the sofa?

Tilly35 Tue 10-Jan-17 17:23:54

Hopefully it will discourage overnight guests unless they're really wanted in which case we'll juggle, particularly keen to discourage those who insist I should provide the full hotel service like MIL- particularly since she told me sh hopes I won't be breast feeding as it's very working class and means she won't be able to do any feeds shock she also asked to come to a scan so she could ask the sonographer afterwards what sex the baby is so she can knit something hideous in pink or blue!

lalalalyra Tue 10-Jan-17 17:28:40

I hope your DH is going to put your MIL in her place... He needs to be the one that deals with guests and their expectations - you'll have enough on your plate with BF'ing (and it's the opposite to working class - working class women didn't BF as they had to work ;) )

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