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Advanced children ...(38 Posts)
I see so many people posting things about there kids on Facebook . Telling me all about them and what there up to and I love to listen.
But I dread it when people ask me about mine or I want to post something cute on line.
I know my kids ( at present time ) are advanced I spend a lot of time teaching them and they pick things up quickly
As soon as I say what there up to or post something on line .
I get sarcastic comments or hateful stares or people will say something mean . Or even ask for proof.
I feel like I have to lie or dumb things down - so people don't think I'm " bragging "
It's really not the case I just love being a mum and my kids and I just speak about my kids same as anyone I know
Sorry if I haven't explained it right
Does anyone have this issue ?
Yes. I know exactly what you mean. You'll learn to keep your mouth shut - i suspect youll get a lot of posts calling you arrogant too. I stupidly told a friendly class mum my DS1s reading level back when they were in form 1. She complained to the class teacher that my DS must be getting extra help, and was he a 'favourite'.
There's one dad in the class who has a really bright DD. He watches my DS too intently for my liking at any event e.g. school concerts, assemblies, sports day. Just in case DS is doing something his DD can't do.
For the record my DS finds school work and sports easy, but he really struggles with other things.
The best thing to so is keep their successes and weaknesses a secret.
As this is your second thread on how advanced your DC are I think you may be a bit over invested....
Anyone who posts about their child's achievements on social media comes across as a complete twat. My advice to you would be "don't".
It's probably this bit that annoys people.
'I spend a lot of time teaching them...'.it implies that you think they are more 'advanced' than other children because of what you do. It's like the parents of a five week old who 'sleeps through' and they think it's their genius parenting.
I hope you haven't been teaching them 'there' and 'their'
There is no need to post your children's academic achievements all over facebook - it does come across as boasting. What question are you responding to when people are asking face to face? If they ask how the dc are and you respond with 'reading Latin and studying art history at age 3' then yes that's boasting. A simple 'really well, they enjoy school etc' is fine.
Boast to grandparents if you have them in your child life - they love it and can be as proud as you
Doesn't everyone think their children are the cleverest, best at sport, greatest achievers of all time? I know I thought mine were easily the best looking children for miles around, I really really was in awe at their beauty. It was a shock when I met someone like me who thought the same of her own, I couldn't see the attraction myself. LOL.
Sorry but if you are not even keeping your admiration and delight to yourself you are probably coming across as a dick and in line for many a disappointment in years to come.
why do you spend a lot of time teaching them? One of my children is very good academically, he was always top of the class for everything except sport at primary school and is now in the top set at an academically selective school buy I would never have dreamed of spending lots of time teaching him. I did buy him a few practice papers to prepare him for his entrance exams but other than that his time when he is not at school or doing school
Homework should be free time. Children need leisure time.
Some people do get a bit funny about children who are more academically able than their own but more people get funny about pushy parents who over invest in helping their children to over achieve because they think (and are right in some cases) that the parents are robbing the children of enjoyment time.
What sort of things do you post? I would only put funny things up about my children I think. Any 'showing off' isn't going to go down well unless it's in the context of something they've really struggled with.
I have just joined on here because it's a topic I wanted advise on .
I'm just getting a lot of grief for it just general
And I'm not going around saying " oh look how amazing and advanced they are ".. . Im I'm being told told it and then I get crappy comments . Also at the preschool as well.
And I'm not saying to everyone oh I teach them arnt I miraculous either 🙄 ...
I pretty much say nothing unless interrogated -
I just wondered if anyone Had the same negativity
So just how advanced are they? Maybe it does just seem like it can't be true? (Not saying you're making it, just that people might think you are.)
It's hard. However you post it, it will be taken as boasting. However it's how you handle it in real life. If your child is truely advanced it is hard getting the right support.. good luck.
Could it be a cultural thing? I'm wondering from your writing style if maybe English isn't your first language? I think the traditional British approach is to downplay achievements and to be modest. In other cultures it's different. Many years ago I worked in Germany and I was told that if you asked a British person if they were good at tennis they'd say 'well I play a bit' even if they were county champion and the German person would take them at face value and think they weren't very good.
So yes I think people will react badly if they think you're boasting and showing off. You've been given some helpful responses above - just say 'they're enjoying school thanks' or 'they like reading' or whatever.
But it is a bit weird isn't it?
Like if they are amazing at abc you don't usually start that way in a conversation on Facebook
Friend ' oh what's x been up to'
You ' of he's won the worlds best performance at swimming, and is now the highest reader at school'
Your answer should be something like ' oh x is doing great thanks. He loves school at the moment and has taken a fancy to swimming a fair bit. How your x?
At preschool level it's all really variable and frankly I'm surprised you are getting comments, other than general small talk.
Older DC? Well there can be a 'tall poppy' syndrome. But basically, you just don't talk about it.
And by the time you really know if they have a settled talent in any field (rather than just early spurt) it'll be secondary school level and the DC themselves will be telling you butt out.
I don't care how advanced your kids are or want you to read about it on social media. It comes across as smug and boastful.
No wonder people give you grief. Zip it.
Watch out. If they really are advanced they will soon be correcting your posts on Mumsnet.
Preschool? (And presumably infants?) Why are you even discussing how 'advanced' they are?
Just seen your other thread too. You sound disingenuous, "oh I've been so silly doing all this amazing teaching with my toddlers". You want a slap on the back but you're disguising it as being worried about them. That's probably why people find you annoying. Toddlers develop at different rates, I really wouldn't get too carried away with what is "advanced" yet.
I really hope you're not teaching them spelling, punctuation and grammar OP..... Maybe I'm being unfair and English isn't your first language. If this is the case, I'd brush up on these before teaching them to your "advanced children".
How does anyone know whether their younger children are advanced anyway? My older DD is now in secondary and it turns out she is very "advanced" at maths and science, but I didn't know that when she was 5! In fact, I always thought she was kind of average because her writing isn't that good. Also, being my first, I had nothing to compare her with, so it wouldn't have mattered if she was behind or ahead - I just don't see how people can work it out at such a young age? It all changes so much as they get older as well.
And what does it matter anyway, if they are advanced academically? I've got a Ph.D. but I don't earn huge amounts of money. It seems to be people who are either amazing at football or very business savvy who earn all the money (whether they're very happy or not though is another matter!).
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