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Parenting

Foul mouthed

4 replies

nemoni · 30/12/2016 19:20

I need some advice on approaches to swearing & younger children, what to fret over, how much to dig heels in etc.

My 9 year old & 6 year old DSs are becoming more aware of swearing as a concept (? right word to use) and of specific words (fuck, shit, crap, & even motherfucker Shock). Learnt so far mostly at school & oldest son from one or two films & going to watch football matches.

With oldest son I've so far taken the approach of explaining that some people swear, others don't, that they will hear swearing but are not to repeat it and and places/contexts it's not ok to swear in even as adults, letting him ask questions (is x sweating, why is it swearing etc) and that it's absolutely not ok for him to swear & potential impact etc.

6 year old dropped fuck into a conversation at a play date today - I'm genuinely dismayed, didn't even realise he knew it. I went for approach of tackling it calmly once we got home, while husband then had a shout at home over it.

What's the best way to approach this at primary school age? And tips/thoughts/advice? They also have a 5 year old brother and I'd be mortified of he picked anything up.

In terms of my own use - I have a few favourites in terms of expletives but mostly just in anger, pain or jest, not in front of the kids (or own parents!), very rarely at work etc.

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allegretto · 30/12/2016 19:25

Watching with interest as we have the same "problem". My 6 year old (the youngest of three and no, the other two don't do it) is always swearing. He doesn't hear it at home (at least not in Italian which is what he swears in). So far we have tried ignoring it in the hope that the novelty would wear off (it didn't), punishing him and even allowing him two minutes intensive swearing every day. Nothing so far has worked! He just really loves swearing (and is quite inventive with it too). He can also pick out other people swearing from about 50m away across a crowded room. Hmm Not really sure what else we can do.

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Heirhelp · 30/12/2016 20:39

What is your 9 year old watching?

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nemoni · 30/12/2016 23:19

Heirhelp - we're really careful with what he watches - TV parental controls set to PG, only plays FIFA on XBox, very limited online use with us in room, cinema trips U & PG (except recent Rogue One trip). The couple of films I referred to are original Ghostbusters & Indiana Jones. He's picked a few things up at school & also had a couple of trips to watch premiership & championship football which involve some interesting chanting etc.

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Heirhelp · 31/12/2016 09:26

I think your way discussing it is probably the best route. If they keep doing it then start sanctions for it.

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