Family & 8wk old Baby

[RemyRelax]

Hi, this is my first post so hope this is in the right place!

I just wanted some advice about how to cope with family all passing my baby around all the time. We have had family visiting on Christmas Eve, Xmas day & Boxing Day and feel like I have hardly been able to spend any time with her. If I am sat cuddling her they are always asking to hold her and if I say no they make such a big deal out of it that I then feel upset. So the next time I feel under pressure and just say yes.

I made clear when DD was born that I was happy for people to have a cuddle but that I didn't want her being passed from one person to another all the time. But the past few days they just won't listen. BIL asked to hold her and I said yes as was cleaning & tidying up. But then within 15 mins he had held her, his wife had and MIL had. This continued throughout and then towards end of the day DD was really upset and crying loads so took absolutely ages to soothe her enough that she would have a nap.

I was looking forward to Xmas, but feel like I hardly got to enjoy time with my DD. Can anyone offer advice please, I am prepared for you to say this is just how it is and I need to get on with it. Just feel so low.

[Want2bSupermum]

I'm on my third baby now and at this point I get annoyed with family who want to cuddle the baby after the elder two have gone to bed. I get no time with her outside of this holiday. What I've done is walk up and stand close to the baby. She starts to fuss and I say 'oh let me settle her'. No one wants to hold a fussy baby!

[LaundryQueenHatesIroning]

' I am prepared for you to say this is just how it is and I need to get on with it. Just feel so low.'

No. This is not on. If you are unhappy you absolutely don't just have to put up with it.

Could you maybe explain to your DH how you feel and get his support? If someone asks for a hold and you are happy with it hand DD over but after five minutes or so say 'back to mummy now'.

Baby's get overstimulated easily so this is your excuse if you need one.

[RemyRelax]

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Want2bSupermum - I will try doing what you do then. Will wait until they've held her for a while then stand near by. Hopefully they get the hint as it has happened couple of times before where MIL or SIL take DD off other people when she's crying as they think they know best!

LaundryQueenHatesIroning - you're right, DD being overstimulated is exactly what's happening. The problem is once I let one person hold her the rest seem to then be waiting their turn. At a family gathering when she was only 4 weeks old they were even saying who was going to hold her next, such as "person B" is holding her next then "person C"!!

[Want2bSupermum]

Oh the other one is to sniff and say 'oh I think it's time for a change. I've been expecting that poop for a while now.' I've almost had my babies thrown at me with that one.

[Want2bSupermum]

Oh when you do that you walk away to change her and have your cuddles for half an hour in a separate room to everyone else.

[annlee3817]

Are you breastfeeding? I used that as an excuse to get away from relatives for a while... Stated that she would only latch on properly when I was lying down so needed to go upstairs... Then declare that she had a mammoth feed, must have been a growth spurt :D