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Dd (5) not coping with the idea of dh going abroad for work

(17 Posts)
Squirrelfruitandnutkin Mon 26-Dec-16 20:53:12

Dh is due to be going abroad for work for 2 weeks in jan.
Dd is 5 and is having trouble coping with this. Whenever it comes up she gets upset and says she'll miss daddy.

I've tried explaining he's coming back, that we've done it before (not in her memory though), that I'll be here and Ds too. I'm not sure what else we can do

Anyone got any ideas to help her not panic about it? I don't think I'll cope with 2 weeks of "I miss daddy" 😬

Solasum Mon 26-Dec-16 20:56:47

Will he be able to Skype?

Squirrelfruitandnutkin Mon 26-Dec-16 20:58:27

I'm not sure tbh he's going pretty far away and I have no idea how easy it'll be for him to get wifi

I've said he'll try and Skype and we can text him -she loves a good emoji filled text.

Doesn't seem to help though.

CauliflowerSqueeze Mon 26-Dec-16 20:58:32

Just stop going on about it. Act casual like it's not a massive deal. The more you carefully broach it and think about how she mustn't panic, the worse it will be.

Squirrelfruitandnutkin Mon 26-Dec-16 21:05:10

I don't bring it up. But dh and various family/ friends have talked about it over Christmas, Dd hears and then ends up sobbing about it at bedtime.

NapQueen Mon 26-Dec-16 21:06:51

Can you make her a sticker chart for each of the "sleeps" that he is away?

Similarly can you plan in any special things to do whilst he is away? Movie night with popcorn, a sleepover in your bed, a friend being allowed to sleep over?

octoberfarm Mon 26-Dec-16 21:19:35

Maybe you could also ask him to spray some of his aftershave/cologne on a teddy or a handkerchief for her to cuddle/smell when she's missing him? She could write him letters/emails/draw pictures about what she's up to each day, and he could send her emails to read before bed. If timings coincide, maybe he could read her the occasional bedtime story via skype? Don't know if it would help too, but maybe he could give her a job he'd usually do that she can look after for him whilst she's away to keep her busy/give her a bit of a role?

Love NapQueen's ideas of some things to look forward to whilst he's away too!

Squirrelfruitandnutkin Mon 26-Dec-16 21:26:43

Dd doesn't do sticker charts - she's never been bothered by them (odd child). But things to look forward to might help.
I'm not quite sure how I'm going to juggle work, and solo parenting without dh to help out. But that my problem.

Dh doesn't wear aftershave but he's looked at the hotel and seems pretty sure he'll have some wifi, fingers to we can make the time difference work for Skype.

We'll do emails/ texts too.

She just can't seem to get past the idea she'll miss him.

MyWineTime Mon 26-Dec-16 22:05:15

Mark it on a calendar and cross off the days so she has a better understanding of how long it will be.

Moodybint Tue 27-Dec-16 02:59:27

We have the same issue reasonably regularly, with my husband's work.

Could you try doing some video recordings of him reading books, on a phone/iPad etc? You can get special toys you can record onto now as well.

When the husbands are gone, the child does tend to get used to it. Just don't make a big deal of him going away and see if you can plan a few things to do when he's away. Even if it's just having friends over. Good luck 😀

Motherfuckers Tue 27-Dec-16 03:16:10

It is only 2 weeks. I think you are making too big a deal out of this which is rubbing off on her.

dovesong Tue 27-Dec-16 03:29:23

Just a small idea - when my dad went away when I was little, he always wrote me a letter for each day on special pink or blue note paper that I opened before I went to bed. It meant a lot to me - I still have the letters. Must hug my dad tomorrow, he's brilliant.

BradleyPooper Tue 27-Dec-16 04:26:20

Don't make such a big deal of it. My dh was away for work 60-70% of the time when my dcs were that age. We just got on with normal life, did fun stuff without him and looked forward to him coming back. Why are people discussing it within her earshot if it's upsetting her? Why does she know about it already? It must be stressful for her. Just tell her a couple of days before he goes, make plans and treats for when he's away, tick off days on a calendar if you must but really 2 weeks is nothing and you should keep telling her that.

BradleyPooper Tue 27-Dec-16 04:28:21

And you'll manage solo parenting and full time work, parents just get on with it!

marcopront Tue 27-Dec-16 06:26:14

Can you get two cuddly toys.
One for her which her Dad gives lots of hugs to before he goes, then when she misses him she can get a hug from it.
The other one she gives hugs to for her dad.

PotteringAlong Tue 27-Dec-16 06:50:16

Well she probably will miss him, but it's 2 weeks. Cross off the sleeps, carry on as normal.

maldini Tue 27-Dec-16 06:55:57

Agree with Bradley et al

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