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Regret the name we've given DS

(46 Posts)
DeeAndMe Mon 26-Dec-16 19:53:26

I live abroad, in my husband's home country. We chose a name in the local language, it's a well-known name but rarely given. The reason I regret giving DS, 4 months, this name is that my niece, who is 8, made fun of it, and it made me realise all kids will make the association she made. Basically, he is going to be teased for his name for years, probably until he's grown up! I am absolutely gutted, how could we be so stupid! Ever since I realised, I have been frantically looking for a solution to the problem. His name can be shortened to give a nickname which is perfectly nice, calling him by this nickname is the only solution I can think of. Does this sound feasible? But what do we do at school? Can I tell the teachers to call him only by his nickname or would we have to get his name changed officially?
DH who lives in a world of his own thinks I should chill and that his name won't be a problem. I am pretty sure it will be, and I feel like the world's worst mum because I wasn't capable of giving my DS a name he won't be teased for sad

DollyPlastic Mon 26-Dec-16 19:54:42

What's his name and what would the nn be?

SortAllTheThings Mon 26-Dec-16 19:58:23

It depends what the name is really

Anyhoooo Mon 26-Dec-16 20:02:52

Yeah come on, whats the name?

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen Mon 26-Dec-16 20:04:33


Fartleks Mon 26-Dec-16 20:07:24

It's hard to help without knowing the name

Thewolvesarerunningagain Mon 26-Dec-16 20:09:09

depending on where you are it may be possible to get his first name changed on his birth certificate. Here in the UK I think it this is possible up until 12 months old. Is this an option for you? Otherwise using a nickname is perfectly feasible. You just have to be quite firm.
But just as a sidebar, don't feel bad, and don't get fixated on this.I may be totally out of line, in which case feel free to ignore me, but are you generally ok? You say that you feel this makes you a poor mum, and other people around you (your DH) don't see this as a problem. You sound quite isolated. I hope things are otherwise ok with you.

Liara Mon 26-Dec-16 20:09:15

Meh. My brother was given a name that was very unusual and has a nickname which is very easy to tease. He never had a hang up about it, as a result he wasn't teased very much as it was obvious he didn't care!

I think you should chill it - every name can be made fun of by malicious people and if you make a big fuss about it you are just creating a vulnerability where there need not be one.

If you like the name, use the name. If you like the nickname, use the nickname. but whatever you do, don't blame yourself if he gets teased!

albertcampionscat Mon 26-Dec-16 20:14:15

Another one who doesn't see the problem here. If there's a nice nn he can use that and almost any name is teasable if you want to make fun of it.

you do sound a little over-anxious.

user1471467016 Mon 26-Dec-16 20:17:05


KitKat1985 Mon 26-Dec-16 20:17:39

I agree that without knowing the name and nickname it's really hard to judge.

WellErrr Mon 26-Dec-16 20:19:37

Need to know the name.

LynetteScavo Mon 26-Dec-16 21:22:42

Well, we need to know the name, but DD is known at school(and everywhere else) by her nickname.

PeachBellini123 Mon 26-Dec-16 22:21:10

I think you're over worrying. Your niece doesn't sound terribly pleasant though!

elQuintoConyo Mon 26-Dec-16 22:22:42

Is it Lupin?

LilQueenie Mon 26-Dec-16 22:28:02

your niece needs to learn respect.

Cosmicglitterpug Mon 26-Dec-16 22:29:29

Shut your niece down on this for a start.

LemonyFresh Mon 26-Dec-16 22:31:24

You're worried because a 8 year old made fun of it? hmm8 year olds make fun of anything and everything!

FatOldBag Mon 26-Dec-16 22:34:47

What name is it?

Lilacpink40 Mon 26-Dec-16 22:36:27

My DCs could be teased about their initials, but I liked the names and it's just unfortunate that their initials sound a bit offensive (sound a bit like cock). I'd go with the nn and not worry.

DesolateWaist Mon 26-Dec-16 22:41:02

Can I tell the teachers to call him only by his nickname

Most form for school have a 'known as' box on application forms.
I have taught lots of children where their official names are nothing like the names they are known as.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Mon 26-Dec-16 22:42:27

We really do need to know the name to know whether others would make the association your niece did.

DesolateWaist Mon 26-Dec-16 22:44:59

It also used to be very common to call children something different to their actual name. I don't think a single older male in my family actually uses their birth name.

Blossomdeary Mon 26-Dec-16 22:45:23

There is no reason why at that age you should not simply call him by his second name - or indeed any name you fancy.

Damia Mon 26-Dec-16 23:46:12

There's every chance in 5 years time when he starts school whatever it is that makes kids laugh about it will be long forgotten

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