DDs Sharing room NIGHTMARE!!

[AppreciationSquad]

2 dds sharing a room, one 3 one 4.

Up until about the beginning of the summer hols they went to bed at 6.30/ 7 and were sparko within 1/2 hour.

Now, when I put them down as soon as I leave the room they get into each others beds, playing, giggling, banging. I usually just leave them or go up and gently tell them to get back into bed (sometimes less gently if it's been a long day)

I'm at breaking point and have used "the rage" shouting more times than I'm proud of.
I have tried the nicey nicey approach
I have tried reading them a looooong story in dim light in the hope they fall asleep.
I have tried confiscating items if they don't listen
I've tried letting them watch a dvd (weekends and holidays)

Please help, I dread bedtime and feel really drained by it. They sometimes just laugh at me when Im trying to get them to go down. Today I lost it as they drenched their bedroom with soapy water from the bathroom. I put them in their room at about 6.20 and discovered what they were doing at 8.45!!!!

What's the answer, cause I need it for my sanity

[AppreciationSquad]

I have posted in sleep aswell. I really want to have something in place for when they go back to school/ nursery. Thank you in advance

[MadBannersAndCopPorn]

NC Fail- outed!!

[Believeitornot]

I stay with mine in their room with lights out. We have an audio book and once they're sleepy, I can leave.

I'd never leave them fully awake!

[MadBannersAndCopPorn]

If i did that, I fear I'd be like the Seargent Major in the corner. "You, lie down" "Oi! put your covers back on" and I fear I'd get the I need a drink/ wee/ cuddle/ I'm sweaty/cold/itchy.

Can I ask what makes it easier staying in the room with them?

[MadBannersAndCopPorn]

Sorry, what I meant was how does you being in the room with them make it easier for them to fall asleep? Not in a snippy way, just curious

[WaitrosePigeon]

Later bedtime is what they need.

[Christmassnake]

I took a book and read by torch light after numerous stories,I had 3 in one room,town house with bedrooms on different floors so at that age I shoved them in the main bedroom together....I sat there for hours often with a flask of tea...eventually it got easier..there are no quick answers I'm afraid

[NapQueen]

Now it's school break I'd keep them up a little later. Stickers in the morning for good going to bed behaviour. Ten stickers = a prize.

[Christmassnake]

Exercise a walk after tea ,then supper bath bed story..don't move out of the room till they asleep.and cut out any day time naps

[dementedpixie]

Bedtime sounds very early. Could you stagger bedtime so one goes to bed a little while before the other?

[heymammy]

It's probably too early now to put them bed at that time. Their sleep needs change so if it's no longer working try putting the 3yr old to bed at 6.30 and the 4yr old at 7pm or 7 & 7.30 .

Or have one fall asleep in your bedroom and carry them through later on?

[Matilda1981]

I agree that maybe a later bedtime would work - my two are 3 and 4 also and I take them up just after the bedtime story on c beebies, read them a story and then leave them too it - if it gets to 7.45 (rarely) I do tell them off and say it's the middle of the night and I'm going to bed!! They get there pyjamas on downstairs so no messing around sorting that once upstairs so it's teeth a quick wee then bed and story!

[Standingonmytippytoes]

6.30/7 does seem very early. Mine are 3 and 2 we stay in the room until they fall asleep yes i do have to tell them to stay in bed and put the covers back and they are better behaved for daddy than me but it's the only thing that works.

[fruitbrewhaha]

well, what time they go to bed depends on what time they get up.
Could you put one to bed in your bed and transfer later on?

[ChristmasTreeCat]

I put 2yo ds in his bed and lay with him til he falls asleep (usually about 10 mins). 4.5yo dd gets to read a book in my bed and/or listen to an audio book. When ds is asleep dd and I cuddle up and read a story together then I put her in her bed sleepy but not asleep and she goes to sleep by herself.

Could you alternate which one you read to in their own bed and which one gets to go in your bed? The getting to go into your bed being a reward and treat for going to sleep nice and quickly the night before in their own bed? I always use divide and conquer otherwise they be messing about and fighting til midnight.

[MadBannersAndCopPorn]

God, I'm in for it arent I?

[Bluntness100]

I'm sorry I think you are putting them to bed far too early, I'd be looking about 8pm. 6.30 to seven is so early you can't blame them.

[dementedpixie]

I never stayed with either of mine until they were asleep and never lay with them until they were asleep either...do you not feel you are being held hostage when you do that?

[MadBannersAndCopPorn]

Maybe I will put them down later then. I like them to be asleep by 7.30/ 8 ish and put them in their room early enough for them to piss about for an hour and still be asleep by a decent time (we're up at 6.30/7)
But the pissing about is getting longer and longer.
I couldn't lie in bed with them or have them in our bed. I have 18m and 13yo DC too so they'd all want a slice of the action and that would be ridiculous!
I might have to bite the bullet and do the hours of reading thing....

[ChristmasTreeCat]

No, I actually enjoy the sleepy cuddle time but then again he is a whirlwind the rest of the day and only takes 10 mins to fall asleep once in bed so not too hostagey! Reading with dd once ds is asleep is also nice and relaxing. I generally aim to get ds asleep for 7 and dd for 7.30, but she is currently exhausted from school

[ChristmasTreeCat]

How about the elephant who wanted to fall asleep audio book or rabbit who wanted to fall asleep audio book? Seems to work on dd even when she's not really listening. At the very least it's something quiet and calm to have on and may save you some hours of reading.

[MadBannersAndCopPorn]

I feel the same demented.

[Peppapogstillonaloop]

How much sleep do they have each night? I don't think that's too early necessarily..
I would try putting one down first, or in seperate rooms, or lying in there. Also reward chart. Try not to lose your temper as they will increasingly just ignore you when you do!
Perhaps a 2 strikes and you are seperated?

[teenmumandsowhat]

I have a 2.5yr old and nearly 4yr old. They too share a room. And bedtime to be honest hasn't been much of a problem since I got them into a strict routine, and they have a babygate on their door to stop them from getting out.
I usually put them to bed at around 6:30-7pm, I tuck them up once, say goodnight etc and leave the room. i only return if they are ill or hurt.
I always leave a box of toys out for the morning. And they have learned that if they want to play after I've tucked them up, and it's lights out etc, they have to tuck themselves back up, which they do.

[Blossomdeary]

I find this thread very interesting as I never stayed with my children until they were asleep. From small babies they were put in their cots (after lots of cuddles) and I would leave the room - and they would squeal for a bit, but then fall asleep. So the idea that you go to bed and are on your own till you fall asleep was there from the beginning.

As to having to have 2 children going to bed at the same time in the same room - I do think there is a case to be made out for making bedtime later, and putting the younger child to bed on their own first. Worth a try. Good luck!