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Family is complete, so why am I jealous of new pregnancies?

(9 Posts)
AfroPunk Wed 14-Dec-16 17:18:05

We are so fortunate to have 3 wonderful children, the youngest of whom is just 12wo. I feel our family is now complete for many practical and emotional reasons; I actually cannot picture a dc4 and feel very content with my 3.

So why was I jealous today when I learned that someone I know is pg? I'm happy for her, but I admit to feeling a little jealous. I do not plan on any more babies: I thought this feeling would go once all my babies were here? How do I combat this horrible, negative feeling?

Pipsicola Wed 14-Dec-16 19:44:37

You are human. You also are a mother of many lovely children. You know how lovely it is to feel them wriggling in your tummy and watching them grow. So I think it's normal to feel the way you do! I'm not in the same position as you but spent many years struggling with infertility before my baby came, and remember hating myself for feeling jealous when all I wanted was to be happy for my friend/relative. It will pass and you will be able to feel better in the future.

LittleBee23 Wed 14-Dec-16 21:17:54

I'm done at 2 but feel such a pang when I see pregnant women or tiny babies. I thought we had an unplanned pregnancy last week as af was late and I felt terribly sick all week but false alarm and I cried my eyes out when I realised I wasn't.

I honestly don't want another child as both my girls had awful reflux and I couldn't go through the first four/five months again with that but I still feel so sad I'll never have another.

I think it's normal to mourn a part of your life that's over. I feel so sad that I'll never carry another baby again.

blinkineckmum Wed 14-Dec-16 22:33:21

I have 2 and want 3. But I love it all so much that I know after 3 I will feel like you. Even now, every pregnancy I hear of I feel a bit like that. It's such a lovely, exciting time.

Famalam13 Thu 15-Dec-16 08:20:11

We have one and are happy with that for many reasons. However like you a friend announcing a pregnancy would make me jealous, I think because I miss feeling my baby kick but that's not a good enough reason for me to have another smile

AfroPunk Thu 15-Dec-16 19:59:21

Thank you for your kind replies smile

I think it is partly knowing that my baby-producing days are over, and there is a degree of sadness knowing during my 3rd pg that this is the last time. I even felt sad saying goodbye to my midwife and the health visitor.

But at the same time, there is a sense of relief! And I haven't had that before, so I know I definitely am done. I just love pregnancy, babies and young children. That in itself isn't enough to bring another child into the world, though, so I just need to hold on for the feeling to pass, I guess. I shall look forward to watching my children grow, and one day being a proud Nan to a load of babies and children!

WombOfOnesOwn Thu 15-Dec-16 22:21:00

Do you enjoy pregnancy and birth? If so, is an extra pregnancy -- perhaps as a surrogate for an infertile woman -- something you'd be willing to engage in?

Personally, I love babies (and think labor's not too bad!), but I hated being pregnant, so I could never do it. But if you're one of those women who gets the famed "glow" and really digs it, there are options...

splendide Fri 16-Dec-16 10:20:48

I only have one and am not having any more but feel the same in a way. I am not at all jealous of people with new babies but I loved being pregnant.

AfroPunk Fri 16-Dec-16 21:32:14

Womb, I really admire women who donate eggs, or who are surrogates. I think those women are amazing. But I couldn't do it! Part of the reason is that I've now had 2 CSections and do not want any more operations (that is part of the reason why I do not want to have any more babies); my third pg was the most strenuous on my body, and quite scary at times. I'm more worn around the edges, shall we say, after 3 pregnancies and births.

I will enjoy my 3 beauties and whenever I feel that little green monster rearing up, I'll try and rationalise it smile

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