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Please tell me it gets easier

(49 Posts)
Aliveinwanderland Tue 13-Dec-16 03:05:21

DS is 7 weeks and absolutely gorgeous. But I actually think I may die of sleep deprivation soon. He is still only going 2-2.5 hours between feeds all night and I can't take any more. I'm finding it harder and harder to wake up with him, have no energy to even roll over in the night and every time he has woken tonight I've cried and begged him to let me have one more hour.

He is EBF and I don't really want to switch to formula but I think I may have to. Something needs to change.

xingbake Tue 13-Dec-16 03:09:55

Oh you poor thing. I remember those times (or rather I don't - it was all such a fug of sleep deprivation I barely remember my dcs first month's). It does get better. What support do you have?

Aliveinwanderland Tue 13-Dec-16 03:42:29

I've got DH and family but it doesn't help as they can't feed him. I've tried expressing but can't get enough because of how often he feeds all day and night.

Tonight has been particularly bad. He screamed from 5:30-8pm relentlessly. Then he has woken crying every hour all night.

He hasn't poo'd since Friday and so I wonder if that is what is bothering him. The Heath visitor is coming on Thursday but I'm tempted to see the GP today to see if she can help.

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Tue 13-Dec-16 03:48:09

Yes, it gets better.

Ps- I'm not up because my kid's awake, I swear fwink

Best of luck with your HV. Those first weeks can be rough as brew

smegsmeg Tue 13-Dec-16 03:53:50

It does get easier! The first few months are the hardest. Soon you'll get used to the sleep deprivation but just try sleep when the baby sleeps during the day! It's not forever just keep that in the back of your mind.

Eminado Tue 13-Dec-16 03:59:59

This stage will pass - hang in there.

I know that utter despair when you are so desperate for sleep flowers.

Please get the poo thing checked out asap - he might be uncomfy.

Is he windy? The screaming 5-8pm could be colic.

Do you sling/swaddle?

Applesauce29 Tue 13-Dec-16 04:04:48

Is there any way you could sleep in a different room for a night and have dh / another relative to just take baby in for feeds at longer intervals (and burp etc elsewhere) so you get more of a break?

Also, sleep when the baby sleeps... I didn't really follow this advice myself with my first (clearing up after lunch etc), but with second on the off chance they both happen to be napping simultaneously everything is dropped (bar switching off iron, oven etc) and I hop straight into bed and cover eyes and nap - it is refreshing even if only a short break.

gooseygander88 Tue 13-Dec-16 04:14:34

Have you tried giving him cooled boiled water or perhaps the bicycle leg movements to help him go to the loo? DD hadn't been for a few days (prob around that age) and tried that and worked a treat! Continue to do the bicycle movements now, helps with wind at least smile will he take more feeds during the day, may help him go that bit longer at night? Or perhaps he's having a growth spurt or is this the norm? Hang in there it will get easiersmile

ReadySteadyNo Tue 13-Dec-16 04:16:28

It does get easier! It's so bloody hard. We are at 10 weeks and I really feel now like we've turned the corner where bf is now much easier than ff would be, and I'm glad I've stuck it out (stopped after a few weeks with dc1).

campervan07 Tue 13-Dec-16 04:16:36

It is hard. I have found that four hours sleep in a row allows me to cope okay. Why don't you speak to your husband about doing one bottle a night in the evening and you going to bed immediately you have fed to try and maximise your sleep.

You could express or just use formula. Honestly whatever makes your life easiest. My dh has been giving one bottle a night of formula to ds 2 from day 1. Sometimes two when he judged I was struggling. I hate expressing though and don't think formula is evil.

It is hard so try and look after yourself and remember this will pass.

farfarawayfromhome Tue 13-Dec-16 04:20:48

Oh god I so feel for you. My baby fed every 2 hours or three for six months and it nearly killed me. Never napped in the day. She was FF. What saved me was handing her over to DH for a night or two each week. I longed for those nights.

FF is no guarantee of sleep but it does at least mean you can share the load. Definitely consider it. Good luck, have so been there and it's the reason my DD is an only child. You are not alone!

midsummabreak Tue 13-Dec-16 04:48:13

don't put too much pressure on yourself while you are very sleep deprived .
Try to sleep when baby sleeps, day and night. Have a warm milk/soothing drink while breat feeding, put gentle music on, draw curtains, take phone off hook/turn off mobile. Have at least one day sleep a day

Aliveinwanderland Tue 13-Dec-16 05:49:24

Thank you everyone.

He has woken up screaming again this morning so something is clearly hurting him. He doesn't usually cry like this at all, just gets cranky when hungry.

Will get him to the GP first thing.

goldangel Tue 13-Dec-16 06:07:01

I had this with my dc1, it turned out I had very little milk supply and my poor baby was crying with hunger, I felt awful breaking when my mum suggested formula for the umpteenth time and baby inhaled it, breast is best and all that but for us it wasn't the case. Good luck.

MedicMama Tue 13-Dec-16 09:29:49

Would you consider co-sleeping?

Aliveinwanderland Tue 13-Dec-16 09:48:37

Medic we have a cosleeper crib- I would never have survived the last 6 weeks if I had needed to get out of bed each time.

Last night he wouldn't settle in the crib so I had him in with me all night. I get less sleep though as I can't sleep without pillows or a duvet and he would only settle on my arm which then goes dead after a while!

antimatter Tue 13-Dec-16 09:52:59

My dd cried like that because there was not enough milk supply. Do a top up one evening and see if he slerps longer.

Aliveinwanderland Tue 13-Dec-16 09:53:00

I'm a poor sleeper myself and so find it very difficult to go to bed and sleep at 7:30pm when DS first goes down. I also find it very difficult to drop off in the day.

We go out most days as I find it harder to entertain him in the house and I need fresh air and normality. He sleeps in the car but will usually wake up when I carry him in to the house.

Hoping with DH having some time off work over Xmas we can split the load a little and I can get more rest. I am trying to express a little so that I have some milk stored for bad nights but find it hard to find time, or have enough because DS is constantly feeding so there is little left.

relaxitllbeok Tue 13-Dec-16 09:58:57

What saved my life in that situation was DH taking DS after the first time he woke and was fed after about 5am and getting up with him and keeping him till 8am or even later if he didn't get hungry. That time when I could go back to sleep knowing I wasn't going to be woken...ah, bliss. I was lucky DH's work hours were flexible enough that he could, but do try it at least over Christmas! DH and DS used to enjoy it too, mostly.

cherrypiemay16 Tue 13-Dec-16 10:05:10

7 months in and I still sleep when the baby sleeps! (Well at least for one nap in the day!) You have to, even if you just lie in a dark room and rest. We resorted to a bottle of formula in the evening, I couldn't ever express enough. He would cluster feed until 9, I'd go to bed then my OH would give him a bottle at 11 and bring him up. It saved my sanity I think because no matter what then happened in the night I'd had those 4 ish hours. It's hard around that time because the adrenyand excitement has worn off a bit and everyone's stopped visiting yet it's still so new and such a whirlwind! It gets easier. Regardless of how the sleep goes, you will cope. You will smile

cherrypiemay16 Tue 13-Dec-16 10:06:32

*adrenaline

ElphabaTheGreen Tue 13-Dec-16 10:38:22

As a PP suggested, it does get easier, but only because you get used to the sleep deprivation, not because they necessarily sleep longer. Both of mine were still on 90 min - 2 hourly wake ups when I went back to work full-time. That was amazing! Or it possibly wasn't. My memory of that time is a blur.

I doubt formula is going to make any difference to the frequency of wake-ups - all it would mean is you could share night feeds with your DH. Much of his night waking is going to be for reassurance, not hunger - boob is most definitely the easiest way of not having to decide which it is, but also means it's all on you.

You could try a dummy to see if sticking a dummy back in every two hours is preferable.

The evening screaming should resolve around 10-12 weeks, but your baby may continue to be clingy around the same time for a while to come - many people experience a witching hour effect well into toddlerhood.

Very common for EBF babies not to poo for anything up to 10 days so that in itself is not a concern. Do not try cooled boiled water as someone upthread suggested. That is very outdated and dangerous advice. But do see the GP to put your mind at rest.

GerardNoWay Tue 13-Dec-16 10:52:10

Ah, I remember the witching hours well.

It does get better, OP, I promise. If baby is struggling to poo, try baby massage, that worked wonders for DD. Otherwise, maybe investigate into things like reflux, colic, etc. DD ended up on medication for her reflux and it was a game changer for us.

Other than that, ruling out any problems/illness, it's just a period of time you have to ride out. Seek support where and when you can. Sleep when the baby is sleeping. Be kind to yourself. Forget about the washing up, cleaning, laundry and focus on yourself.

neversleepagain Tue 13-Dec-16 11:41:00

It does get better eventually. I hated the new born phase so much. We had twins and it was relentless and a torturous first few months. One baby would wake then the next and I would be lucky to get 45 minutes sleep between feeds.

Hang in there.

Aliveinwanderland Tue 13-Dec-16 15:08:09

Elphaba I saw the GP this morning who told me to try cool boiled water and gave me lactulose. I haven't managed to get him to swallow any yet though!

He slept this morning 8-12, think he was exhausted. He is still cranky this afternoon but not as bad as during the night.

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