Can I prepare ds for the arrival of his sibling?(7 Posts)
He's only 16 months old, and I am due in ten weeks. I feel really sad for him, that he won't be 'the baby' anymore when he's still so little.
He goes to mum and Mil atm when I am at work, and I hope to continue with this a bit as he really enjoys it and to give me a break. Also thinking of taking him to a play place we go once a week and leaving baby with mum/Mil for a couple of hours.
But really worried that my happy, smiley content and easy little boy is going to have problems adjusting. How can I make it easier?
Try talking about baby, and maybe get a couple books about baby. I got this for DD (22 months when DC2 arrived) www.amazon.co.uk/My-New-Baby-Rachel-Fuller/dp/1846432766
I didn't think anything was going in, but I kept talking to her about the pictures saying " mummy's reading DD a book... DD's eating a sandwich and baby is having mummy milk.. etc" it obviously helped as after DS was born she kept getting the book and pointing to the baby and saying baby then pointing to the actual baby and saying baby.
One tip I heard is to not be holding the baby when older sibling meets them for the first time - dc1 can come up and cuddle into you while you introduce them to baby, and maybe baby has a gift for dc1, it worked well for us (I was in high dependencey care still hooked up to loads of things, was a bit bizarre).
We tried so hard with dd to prepare her for the twins arrival.....
She was having none of it and referred to them collectively as 'the brothers' for a year...as in mummy the brothers are crying..yes dd xxx is crying do you want to hold him....nope
Do you want to be mummies helper????
Do you want to give him a bottle
She finally started calling them by their names around 1 ish when they became more interesting to a 3 yr old
Thanks both, I will definitely get a book. I'm starting to feel like the new baby is a little intruder into my happy little boys life. I'm sure I will feel differently once he/she arrives.
I spent the last few months of my pregnancy talking to DS about baby and reading books about getting a baby brother/sister. He was 23mo when DD arrived and pointed at her in the car seat with a shocked expression and said "whats that?!" When we brought her home. So it was all clearly a waste of time. On the other hand, apart from being a bit clingy for a couple of months he adjusted fine.
I'd recommend "Siblings Without Rivalry" if you've the time to read something. Can't remember who it's by but it's v good and lots of practical advice.
Ahaparenting.com also has good articles about siblings.
I would just add though, for yourself, not to feel panicked if you have that "interloper" feeling towards DC2 during the first few weeks. I felt I'd ruined DD1's life and our lovely bond with this new little person and, while I loved DD2 in a sort of automatic way, I really couldn't imagine how I'd ever love her as much as DD1.
Fast forward 4 months and I love them both more than I could imagine. DD1 (admittedly older than your DS at 2yrs old) is very sweet and attentive to DD2 and although it's a fricking slog, I know they'll be great friends
I would say dont force it dont make a fuss about him looking at the baby or anything just let him lead the way with how much contact and also try not to keep him away or freak out if he accidently pokes the baby in the eye or almost sits on its head it can be really difficult because your protective instincts are in over drive so when the older one does something daft and hurts the baby you automatically want to shout out be careful!!!!!!
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