May I request working moms to give me some tips

[coffeecakemum]

Hello all,

I have never worked full time after I had my son. I used to work in senior position in a high tech company before I had him. But I decided to take a break until he started school. I have been lucky to get a break and will start a position full time from Jan next year. I have been thinking of how to bring this transition as smoothly as possible. We have breakfast and late clubs. I have one hour commute both ways. I need to keep dinners ready for when we get home. I am bit worried about how I am going to manage evenings and school related activities. At the moment I totally take care of home and school related stuff. Any tips from working moms to be organised and stay on top of things? Thanks for reading.

[dementedma]

Working mum with 3 dcs here. It is all about organisation.
Big calendar with key dates and appointments marked on it.
Pin board for school letters etc
Dinners batch cooked and frozen at weekends and a bit of processed/ microwave food never killed anyone. Lower your standards. Clothes with a small stain can be sponged and re-worn the next day. Make sure PE kit is packed the day before. Have a good network of people to help out for the inevitable time it all goes horribly wrong!
Slow cooker and freezer are your friend!

[motherinferior]

Shift half the responsibility onto their other parent.

[coffeecakemum]

Thank you so much I am noting down a lot of what you said. Calendar is a great idea.

Other parent is very hands on but does a 2 hour commute both ways and can only do morning drop in breakfast club.

[teddycat]

Clear responsibilities if two of you, who does what. Morning or evening I think it works One parent to be flexible in am and one pm. E.g. I work in an American company so my end of day stretches out so I do morning and it doesn't matter so much if I'm late then hubby does end of day. Set none negotiable with work e.g. One day a week you leave at a set time.

Organisation, get bags ready st night soon as you get in, put breakfast things ready, on the commute either plan in your head / review what's coming up for the day.

Slow cooker I second, do more beginning of week.

Get into a rhythm as soon as you can and be realistic. Who will look after if Ill ? Get all set in place ready.

[allegretto]

1. Have a diary or a calendar with all appointments/school stuff on.
   
2. Actually look at it properly every evening so you don't caught out by something in the morning rush to get everyone off.
   
   Simple. Things work out a lot better when I actually take my own advice so not sure why I don't do it more often!

[coffeecakemum]

Thanks for all the great tips. Wanted to ask how do you find time for home work? We have once or twice a week and it's very little for reception. Sometimes just reading. Is it all done over weekend?
I might have to do two laundry sessions one mid week and one weekend. Ironing, cleaning house also weekend I imagine. Might do online food shopping to save time.
I think during commute I should do lists and updating calendars.

[StealthPolarBear]

What does your oh do?

[FusionChefGeoff]

House won't get very messy / dirty if you're all out most of the week so that's something to bear in mind. I wfh which is a bit different but 'process' everything as soon as you can - pjs laid out for bedtime as soon as undressed, we have a downstairs 'tin' with brush, toothbrush, toothpaste etc so do all getting ready downstairs straight after breakfast, sort out book bag, lunches, clothes for next day as soon as you get in. The 30 second jobs all add up in the morning!!! If you're super efficient you might squeeze 10 mins of reading etc in before drop off.

[unintendedcatlady]

We both work ft with a 1yo & 6yo, if it's possible I can't recommend a cleaner enough. Ours puts washing on, cleans, tidies, changes the sheets etc. Takes some pressure off & leaves the weekends emptier for family stuff.

[HamSandwichKiller]

Defo go ahead with online shopping, going to the supermarket for a full shop is a total waste of time. Slow cookers a good idea but so are simple dinners like stir fry & salmon etc. Look up a few fall back recipes now. Yes to a calendar and yes to sharing the load, no matter his commute is longer the home and children are no longer your sole problem to solve.

[GreenRut]

Mum to 3 here Dh and i work full time. Top tips : lower standards of what constitutes a dinner, get the uniform out the night before, big calendar, when you're buying gifts for parties get afew of the same thing and a multi pack of birthday cards so you'll always have something just in case for the next party, definitely online shopping, washing over the weekend, reminders on your phone to tell you homework is due in couple of days.

Finally I'd say be very clear with your dh what you are expecting mornings and evenings to look like. Will you be alternating who gets dc up and dressed? How long do you need to get ready yourself and what time does that mean dc must be up by to fit it all in before leaving for breakfast club? Your dh might have different expectations which you'll need to iron out beforehand. It wil all become second nature within a month but it is bloody hard!

[Chloeneedshelp]

Try to be organised! Doesn't happen. House is a tip by Friday and spend the weekend cleaning it. I do keep a diary which I check probably more than 3 times a day! I keep reminders on my phone. But say you need to nip out one night, hairdressers, exercise class, cinema, see a friend/family. All that night before organisation goes out the window. Just have to get up early in the morning. If that means leaving the breakfast pots on the side- it has to be done! Not worth getting stressed out over.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meG0es]

Put a pinboard near your calendar, also a pen, stash of envelopes, pot of change if you don't have online school payments.

As soon as you get home with DCs, fish any letters out of their bag, check calendar, fill in reply slip, add envelope/money if required and put straight back in school bag. Immediately put the letter on the pinboard. I also take a photo of the letters with my phone and use the calendar on that synced with DH rather than a paper one now.

[cheminotte]

Put your dc down for school dinners so you can relax a bit more with evening meals.

[misscph1973]

Get all the help you can afford. I have a cleaner (twice a week), a window cleaner (every 2 months, in and out), a gardener (just lawn mowing) and a carpet cleaner (every 4 months). I stopped feeling guilty about all this help when I realised how much better I performed at work and how much nicer I was at home when I didn't have that added burden of housework that rarely got done (my DH is blind, so he can't do much at home).

Cook large portions, eat other half later in the week. Get a weekly supermarket delivery, do week planning. Make a list of what you have in the freezer and work from that when you meal plan.

Re home work, we do ours sometimes in the morning before school, but I guess you won't have time for that. Is it possible to get some home work done at breakfast club/after school club?

[Chloeneedshelp]

Agree... Get some help.. Cleaners etc.

[BusyBusyBusy1]

Buy five sets of school uniform so no need to wash during the week.
Lay out your own work clothes night before (as well as school uniform).
Shower at night before bed.
Set out breakfast stuff before bed.
Prep packed lunches in eve.
Split responsibilities 50.50. Try not to be responsible for both beginning and end of day on the same day as it makes work too much of a rush.
Use Sat morning to do all catch up tasks as a family with everyone pitching in for one hour then treat yourselves to a family lunch.
Synch diaries with each other every week.
Accept you can't get to every school event and that you have to share domestic role equally (not that you are responsible for everything but 'delegating')

[unintendedcatlady]

5 sets of uniform & envelopes/change pot/pen next to the pin board are genius tips I'm having from this thread. Thanks!

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

With both working full time, both pull equally on childcare and housework. Def school dinners if possible and lots of uniform. Squeeze homework in when you can- if I happen to have a 'light' work day we just get it done, otherwise it's done at the weekend. Work out a week or two's worth of quick dinners and rotate them; that way you don't need to think, have the easiest on days you have a lot on, freeze child-size portions of a couple of dinners for the days everything goes wrong- you can have toast so long as DC are fed properly. Have some work clothes that don't need ironing for emergencies. Don't sweat the small stuff, always make a special time for cuddles, the dusting will still be there tomorrow (and the day after )

[coffeecakemum]

Such great tips. Thank you so much. Definitely like the idea of assigning responsibilities. So far we decided school dinners, Husband to do breakfast, getting ready for school and generally the morning stuff. I have to do evening pick up and dinner. I'll order extra uniform sets soon especially socks as we always struggle to find pairs in the morning. I have the whole December to do all this. Thanks so much ladies. I am feeling better now with all this information.

[coffeecakemum]

I also take a photo of the letters with my phone and use the calendar on that synced with DH rather than a paper one now. - this is great idea. How can I sync iPhone calendars?

[TooStressyForMyOwnGood]

Placemarking for tips

[dimots]

I am a single parent working full time. We don't do homework unless it is at the weekend. I do have one in secondary now but he knows he must organise himself. I do t get involved. I am upfront with the primary teachers about my no homework in the week policy and they are fine with it. It hasn't made any difference to DC progress.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meG0es]

You can have several separate calendars all showing through the calendar app in your phone. We share one Yahoo calendar linked to my email, it can also be accessed on any computer, handy if you are checking dates while talking on the phone. We did have a bit of teething trouble at first and ran it in parallel with a paper calendar for quite a long time, but only use electronic now.

[dementedma]

Buy loads of socks all exactly the same colour, eg plain black. Then you always have a pair. Or do what my Ds does and wear odd ones.
At Ds schol you can pre pay for school dinners on a swipe card, but for some reason he doesnt like using it and is scared of losing it so we make 5 small stacks of pound coins on the kitchen shelf and he just grabs one stack each morning. Agree that shower or bath the night before saves masses of time and hassle.