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This is an ok punishment right ???

(35 Posts)
Bedsheets4knickers Wed 16-Nov-16 19:51:53

My ds is 6 . He gets 50p per day for getting himself dressed every morning . He's come home today with a hole in his school shirt and in his trousers . When I asked him how it had happened he said he cut them with scissors angry . He was very pleased with himself so I'm withholding this weeks pocket money . He's now furious . It's fine isn't it ??? He needs to learn if you on purpose destroy something you replace it ??

Sweets101 Wed 16-Nov-16 19:53:29

Seems apt, the money is needed to buy new clothes and is relatable as it's earnt via the clothes.
Perfectly fine!

Sleeperandthespindle Wed 16-Nov-16 19:53:42

Up to you. Sounds reasonable. On the other hand, paying him to get dressed by himself sounds ridiculous!

AmeliaJack Wed 16-Nov-16 19:55:18

I'm not sure why you are doubting yourself? It's not a particularly harsh punishment.

I would have been furious if mine had deliberately destroyed clothing.

After all the £2.50 won't cover anywhere near what it's going to cost you to replace the clothes.

Why are you concerned that he's angry?

Bedsheets4knickers Wed 16-Nov-16 20:01:11

Im not really just wanted to run it past a few people . Can't believe he's done it tbh . No logic in it at all . It's his own clothes hmm

Leanin15yearsmaybe Wed 16-Nov-16 20:01:56

Perfectly reasonable. My DC did this on two occasions. First time he lost a weeks pocket money and items were replaced. However after deliberately doing it a second time he had to wear the holey clothes until he had saved up enough pocket money to buy a replacement as I refused to give him an advance! He hasn't done it since

neonrainbow Wed 16-Nov-16 20:02:35

Why on earth are you paying a 6 year old to get dressed? Surely that's basic expectations?!

CauliflowerSqueeze Wed 16-Nov-16 20:02:49

What happens when he demands a pay rise for getting dressed?

AnyFucker Wed 16-Nov-16 20:03:21

You pay your son to get dressed ? confused

NotSoHankyPanky Wed 16-Nov-16 20:05:37

Does a 6 year old need pocket money? What does he spend it on?

RasperryInAMelon Wed 16-Nov-16 20:08:23

£3.50 a week! That's almost £200 a year - might as well give him a Christmas bonus!

Empress13 Wed 16-Nov-16 20:13:18

Why on earth are you paying him to dress himself? So if you didn't pay him he stays in pj's all day!!!
You're setting yourself up for a fall God help you if he starts chores around house when he's older you'll be bankrupt! Total lunacy IMO

Bedsheets4knickers Wed 16-Nov-16 20:15:42

It just makes mornings run more smoothly which makes my day easier .. he spends it on all sorts really . A comic or an app for the iPad . Whatever he chooses really . This weekend he'l be putting it towards new school wear

AnyFucker Wed 16-Nov-16 20:42:21

How do you get him to wash, brush his teeth,
go to bed etc

It seems rather strange to pay a child for the usual activities of daily living

ChampsMum Wed 16-Nov-16 20:47:07

I don't find anything strange about OP paying her child to get dress, we all have our own different ways of parenting.

OP with holding a weeks money is fine, it will teach him not to destroy things in future, ignore the horrible comments flowers

Fanfeck Wed 16-Nov-16 20:49:23

confused at his being paid to dress himself! What would happen if he wasn't paid, you'd dress him like a toddler?

Bedsheets4knickers Wed 16-Nov-16 20:51:50

I don't think it's strange . He's nearly self sufficient . Has a shower every evening , pours his own cereal . He just mucks about in the mornings . It's just an incentive to get us all out the door on time with less shouting . Wasn't really about why he got pocket money . ??

Meadows76 Wed 16-Nov-16 20:52:38

I don't think it's reasonable tbh. He HAS got dressed himself, and will continue to do so, I'm not sure how removing that reward will help. Assuming he gets the reward because he has had trouble dressing himself in the past I would expect a regression with the removal of his incentive. Perhaps just removal of tv privilege if you feel the need to punish. I personally wouldn't punish my 6yo for that anyway, kids very easily do silly things without realising the consequences. While he obviously knows right from wrong where scissors are concerned won't have fully understood the implications of the action.

cestlavielife Wed 16-Nov-16 20:55:57

You paying him to get dressed
He has got dressed
So you can't not pay him
You had a deal with him

You need to think of another consequence for cutting his clothes. Very odd though.
Did he say why he did it ?

Leanin15yearsmaybe Wed 16-Nov-16 20:56:59

I pay my kids to get dressed sometimes as they can be little shites! Although it is more under the ruse of 'well done you got dressed and ready for school without a fuss or arguing with DB, that deserves a gold star'. Gold stars are worth 10p each in this house so technically I sometimes pay them to get readywink.

It's just chores/good behaviour for pocket money surely?? My 7year old dusted the skirting boards throughout the house with his new socks of his own accord this 10p I've ever spent grin

atetoomanybiscuits Wed 16-Nov-16 20:57:47

I give my daughter pasta for her reward jar for doing things.... 1 bit for doing things first time she is asked, 2 for doing things off her own back. Once it's full she choose her reward (toy, day out etc) similar principle. Not particularly different to the 50p. One thing about the reward jar, is that I never remove for bad behaviour etc. It's about positive parenting.

I don't disagree like others with your 50p payment for dressing nor the withholding for the damage. Parenting is hard enough, the little wins make the day more bearable. We all do things differently.

AnyFucker Wed 16-Nov-16 21:00:57

I just have an expectation that my kids will get dressed for the day. Just like I do and all the people they know do. Why are they such a special case they need financial reward to do so ?

No drama. No rewards required.

Bluntness100 Wed 16-Nov-16 21:06:36

I also think this is the wrong message, it's illogical to pay for getting dressed and withhold for bad behaviour. Logically he should only not be psid if he does not get dressed. What will you do tomorrow if he doesn't get dressed?

I'd have withdrawn screen privileges or whatever.

I also think paying uour son to get dressed is storing problems for the future. Kids want to dress themselves at this age, we shouldn't have to pay them for it.

insan1tyscartching Wed 16-Nov-16 21:20:48

I wouldn't take his money off of him because he has done what needs to be done to earn it. I wouldn't even go mad about the clothes tbh, he's six they do stupid things and don't think through the consequences. I'd probably just speak to him and tell him not to do it again and warn him there would be consequences if he did. Can his clothes be repaired?

monkeywithacowface Wed 16-Nov-16 21:25:16

I better hide this from 8 year old he moans that he has to empty the dishwasher for free!

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