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Bathtime picture

30 replies

Newdad95 · 14/11/2016 20:08

Hello, firstly I apologise if this is in the incorrect board - if so can a moderator move to an appropriate forum.(I've created an account solely to gage other people's opinions on this)

Secondly, I'm not a mum, I'm a dad (I don't know if there's a dads equivalent)

Three weeks ago my life changed drastically when my partner gave birth to our son, I was overwhelmed with emotion and ridiculously happy. Fast forward three weeks, it's really late in the night the baby isn't settling and is completely thrashing himself around, I run him a bath with lavender oil and get in with him to try soothe him and make sure he doesn't hurt himself.

My partner wakes up, she sneaks into the bathroom and snaps a picture of me (naked) and the baby (naked) with me holding the baby to my chest cuddling him and soothing him to sleep.

Personally I feel that this is an adorable picture showing s true bond between a parent and child, however, my partner has had the photo developed (you can only see a small part of the baby's bum) and our family members have passed comments on how disgusting it is.

Is t just me, am I in the wrong to think that this is normal? I remember having baths with my father when I was younger, completely innocent.

What's everyone else's views? I've been pretty shaken up by it (as dramatic as it sounds) as one person has alluded to the fact that it could be construde as child pornography, the thought of this makes my stomach contort. I'd never harm my baby in any way or form, I can only feel love and comforting him to sleep when he was screaming and throwing himself about made me feel as if I'm doing right... political correctness gone mad?

Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Anyway, sorry for wasting your time if you think this thread is pointless. I needed somewhere to vent and share my concerns.

Thank you

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NapQueen · 14/11/2016 20:09

Her family are mad!

Bathing with your babies is lush!

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AnyFucker · 14/11/2016 20:11

Was this photo shared widely on FB and the like ?

I raise eyebrows at that but as for the naked bathing, no not all. Please carry on being a lovely hands on parent and ignore those with twisted minds.

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Newdad95 · 14/11/2016 20:12

That's what I thought, I've genuinely never been so shaken up by something as innocent as that. My arms are wrapped around him covering everything.

So what his Dink is on my chest? I clean it every day and that's acceptable.

Glad that it's not just me that thinks it's barking.

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Newdad95 · 14/11/2016 20:13

Nah the photo wasn't shared anything, we had it derveloped. They looked through the album and saw it.

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Ilikegin · 14/11/2016 20:13

Oh my goodness no! Skin to skin contact with mummy and daddy is the best comfort to baby! Congrats on your little one.. Carry on doing what you are doing! Flowers

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AnyFucker · 14/11/2016 20:13

They are weirdos

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Moondance87 · 14/11/2016 20:14

OK nothing wrong with parents bathing with their child I do it regularly with dd...
OK so pic developed what was she doing? Getting it out over tea? Tbh not everyone wants to see it...but I wouldn't react in a crazed fashion probably just "that's nice dear"

What I don't get is how the family members seen the pic? Other than that all OK imho

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OlennasWimple · 14/11/2016 20:15

Apart from the fact they can slippery little things when wet, especially with oil in the water, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you bathing with your son. Ignore her crazy folks and carry on

(Who gets photos developed these days though?!)

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MessezFaire · 14/11/2016 20:15

They're all bonkers, you sound like a very caring father. Congratulations on the birth of your son!

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Moondance87 · 14/11/2016 20:16

Ah okay x post with you I see how they seen It... meh like I said I bathe with dd all the time since she was a newborn...no issues there

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Capricornandproud · 14/11/2016 20:16

Nutcases! Why the hell would skin to skin be so widely encouraged and accepted in hospital for christ sake? I don't know that I'd necessarily want to see a male family member in the bath, even covered up, but a bath with your newborn is amazing! And a must! Ignore them, put it to the back of your mind and enjoy your little bundle. You sound like a great Dad. Xx

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CottonSock · 14/11/2016 20:17

I bathe with mine every bath time

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ColdTeaAgain · 14/11/2016 20:18

They are the ones with a problem if they think it's disgusting. Sounds like a beautiful moment captured. Don't let them taint it.

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Newdad95 · 14/11/2016 20:20

They asked to look at the photos - they were still in the album they got delivered in. We completely forgot about it and didn't think anything of the photograph, completely and utterly innocent.

We never actively pulled the photo out and said look at this. It was just in the pack.

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ChocolateForAll · 14/11/2016 20:23

Anyone who has a problem with this needs an urgent referral somewhere in my opinion! Sounds like you're doing a marvellous job as a new dad. Congratulations on your little one.

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Believeitornot · 14/11/2016 20:24

Horrible people

My DH used to have baths with our two when they were babies and they loved it.

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alwayshappy101 · 14/11/2016 20:26

Don't listen to them.I loved having a bath with my dc's when they were younger,and they loved it too.I am always snapping cute bubbly photos of them in the bath too.enjoy your son and your baths Smile

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Newdad95 · 14/11/2016 20:27

Thanks for the messages. Fills me with a little more confidence to know that we aren't barking up the wrong tree and that what we're doing is still acceptable.

Worried us even more as we're both only 21, uni graduates so you can imagine the condescending tones in which they were saying what they were.

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Bertucci · 14/11/2016 20:29

We have many similar pictures. Wouldn't necessarily share them though - older relatives in particular might find them alarming.

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SolomanDaisy · 14/11/2016 20:31

Sharing a bath is actually recommended by many people for dealing with unsettled or colicky babies. I read it on Dr Sears' website only yesterday. My premature DD is currently in hospital and, heavily encouraged by medical staff, both DH and I have been having lots of naked skin to skin time with her, it's so good for babies! There are posters up around the ward encouraging people to do it as much as possible.

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Namechangeemergency · 14/11/2016 20:32

I don't know about older relatives being more likely to find them alarming.
When I had my eldest children 25 years ago this sort of picture was very normal.
Kids in the bath, parents holding baby in the bath, kids on the carpet with nothing on.

I think its quite modern to be shocked by babies and their parents showing skin.

Its all about the peedos

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frikadela01 · 14/11/2016 20:33

My dp always gets in the bath with our Ds. I think it's lovely. We also have photos of them in the bath together just like you for our personal albums. Ignore them, the suggestion it could be child pornography is ridiculous. There is nothing sexual about a father bathing his child.

Keep up there good work op. You sound like you're doing a crack in job.

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Gileswithachainsaw · 14/11/2016 20:34

Take no notice.

Skin on skin is encouraged with regards to bonding. In fact alot of those TV programs show the babies being held by shirtless mums and dads..

Amd bathing with babies is not fir everyone but at the same time it's bloody harmless and obviously enjoyed by parent and child.

The family sound bonkers. Has no one seen a bare chest and naked baby before? Confused

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Newdad95 · 14/11/2016 20:53

Surprisingly it was more the younger ones, out of the friends / family that thought it was abnormal. By younger I mean mid twenties.

What really grinder my gears is how judgemental people were over completely innocent pictures.

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jobrum · 14/11/2016 20:58

What strange family she has! Do they think he'll remember this at only a few weeks old and be scarred for life or something!? I'm sure their views will change as they get older and possibly become parents themselves.

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