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How the hell do we tackle 3.5yr olds sleep - we are all absolutely exhausted!

(10 Posts)
AquaAqua Sat 12-Nov-16 19:48:33

3.5yr old ds has NEVER slept through or ever been a particularly good sleeper. He currently wakes around 6 times a night on average, often more, and is very 'active' in his sleep. He refuses to stay in his own bed after he wakes unless someone either bunks down in his room with him. We have tried a number of solutions - so for example often one of us will sleep in his room. this results in either DH or I being exhausted as he DS is very fitful in his sleep, moves about alot, constantly waking up, talking etc. so you spend the whole night getting short bursts of naps and that is it. We have before moved his bed into our room as a temporary solution - again we are both kept awake most the night. The same occurs when we have been too tired to get up when he wakes up and he has crawled into our bed. Night after night we are exhausted. He on the other hand seems to be fine on this style of sleep. He rarely has a nap in the day, is physically very active, has a very healthy diet, we avoid sugar and processed foods, he is growing well and developing very well. Both DH and I work, and often have to get up by 6am (when both DS's are awake anyway) - this is putting so much pressure on us. Otherwise we are a very happy family - if not a rather tired one! I would love some suggestions about what to do? I really don't know where to turn now. sad

Coconut0il Sat 12-Nov-16 20:47:36

I would do what you are doing, just trying to find a way to get maximum sleep. What bed have you got in DS' room? DS1 had a double from an early age so I could sleep in with him.
I think if we were in that situation me and DP would either take turns in DS' room so at least a bad night would be followed by a good one or one of us would go to bed as early as possible to get a few hours in. Hopefully as he gets older he'll sleep better. Whatever happens it won't be forever.

Believeitornot Sat 12-Nov-16 20:51:03

Does he snore?

AquaAqua Sat 12-Nov-16 21:07:45

Doesn't snore really, at the moment we sleep on old sofa cushions which doesn't help. He is in a converted cot bed. Double bed may be the answer?

123bananas Sat 12-Nov-16 21:14:58

Have you had him checked for sleep apnoea? Dd2 had this before her adenotonsillectomy and woke loads.

Could you give him something like a story cd/soothing meditation/gentle music that he could listen to to go back to sleep?

Coconut0il Sat 12-Nov-16 21:31:06

I know it's not ideal but whatever gets you through. I spent loads of nights in with DS1, either me in his and DP in ours or the other way round. He's 13 now and probably couldn't think of anything worse than me getting in his bed grin I've always gone with whatever gets me the most sleep with the least hassle.

TarkaLiotta Sat 12-Nov-16 21:31:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GeorgeTheThird Sat 12-Nov-16 21:37:44

Three and a half? Lay down the law, and back that up with bribery. Serious bribery with immediate (small!) rewards in the morning (coco pops?) and a bigger one after a week. Talk a lot about being a big sensible boy. And tell him to go back to bed, and mean it.

GeorgeTheThird Sat 12-Nov-16 21:38:32

Also consider - night light, new soft toy, music or stories that he can put on himself AS LONG AS HE STAYS IN BLOODY BED!

thegirlinthecar Sat 12-Nov-16 21:43:09

I have 2 of these monsters . They are 3 and 2 and I can count on one hand the amount of times they've slept through the night . Now it's lasted so long I'm hoping to just ride it out . It's brutal .

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