Potty training - at wits end. Please, can anyone help me?

[justwanttoweeinpeace]

Posting here for traffic.

We started training Easter this year, a couple of months before DS's third birthday.

Poos were sorted straight away. Not a problem. Wees took longer, about six weeks to reliably be dry. We'd still have the odd accident.

However since June we have been running through a cycle of a week or two dry, then three or four weeks of several accidents a day. Three or four every day for a few weeks is normal now.

I'm at my wits end. I've tried bribery big and small - chocolate buttons up to big deal day out. I've tried sanctions (thinking he was distracted by the tv or whatever), I've tried getting him to tidy up the mess himself, I've tried positivity, negativity, badgering him to go every half hour, leaving him to do it himself. Once I had to leave him wet for a while whilst we got home, but I didn't like doing it and I'd rather not use that as a training technique.

The only thing I can think of that I haven't tried is putting him back in nappies for a bit.

This pm I reminded him he needed to go. He told me he didn't and then wet himself whilst sitting on me. It made me cry, I just don't know what to do from here.

He's physically quite small from his age and still has naps. But mentally he's very sharp, understands what's happening, says he knows when he needs to go etc. He's a lovely chilled out little boy which makes me wonder if our problems are temperamental.

He does go to the loo a lot in a day but I can't tell whether he has a weak bladder or if it's just because I'm taking him so often.

He goes to pre school part time and the problems happen there too.

Can anyone make any suggestions? What have I forgotten to do? Is it time to go to the GP?

TIA if you've made it through so far - I'm desperate.

[daluze]

I would talk to GP. Is it only wees, or poo as well. My DS (nearly 4 now) developed chronic constipation after few months of potty training, which seemed to be going ok at the begining. It took a while to realise this, as he was pooing into potty/toilet, but it was affecting his bladder control as well. Might be worth checking...

[justwanttoweeinpeace]

Only wees. We have no problem at all with poos. He poos a couple of times a day, they're normal.

It makes me think that he does have some sort of idea about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour.

[justwanttoweeinpeace]

But then, it could also mean he has control over his rectum but not his bladder?

[ohisay]

When my nephew was struggling to potty train, one thing we were told to try (and it did help) was to not let him sip at drinks all day, but have a good amount then take it away, so he wasn't needing to do small wees and would get a clear 'I need a wee' signal. Keep persevering, he will get there xx

[Goodasgoldilox]

I'd say - believe that he will be potty-trained soon. (He will - really he will. -though I quite understand how impossible this can feel!)
Accept the 'accidents' without fuss or comment -keep the focus on other things. This you do have power over.
(If he is doing this on purpose - there is no point if he gets no reaction. If he isn't, you won't want to have made things worse by making him feel bad about it.)

[justwanttoweeinpeace]

I really struggle not to react. It doesn't fit my personality. Any tips?

I could do with this in all aspects of my life TBH.

[ODog]

I would put him in a pull up. If you realise it is wet then do the whole 'oh dear, wet pants, lets clean you up and get dry ones' just as you would with normal pants but without the accidents. They worked a treat for my DS when he was potty training.