I have an eleven-year-old who I have raised as a totally single parent from birth. Two years ago, I met a lovely man who is a wonderful stepfather figure to my son. Recently, I have got an overwhelming urge to have another baby. I'd love my son to have a brother or a sister and also to experience the joy and wonder of parenthood with the man I love. He is just not interested in having kids though. This is especially frustrating when he shows so much kindness, nurturing and appreciation towards / of my son. He says kids are cute and he's sure that having your own is a great experience but it just doesn't appeal to him. I am sad for him, because although it sounds condescending, I think it is really upsetting that he might never get to experience parenthood when he would be so good at it and I know he would love it. I have considered ending the relationship, but I love him so much (as does my son) and there's no guarantee I'll even meet someone who I want to have a child with, let alone go on to conceive if I do. I think I just have to be grateful for my boyfriend and my son and try to get over this, but the broodiness is all-consuming: I dream about babies, I ache with it when I am around friends' babies (of which there are many) and the other day, when I heard a very young baby crying, I felt a tingling in my nipples like I needed to breastfeed. Parenting my son is the best thing I have ever done and the thought that I will never experience that again makes me feel very sad. I don't know why I am writing this here, probably just in an attempt to make myself feel a bit better. Anyone else facing / faced a similar scenario?
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I desperately want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't.
AlrightMum · 06/11/2016 14:16
I just wish there was a way to make him see that he would be an incredible father, because he really would.
But, as Trills says, that doesn't mean that he wants to be a father? 
Please, please don't 'bully' someone into having a child if they don't want one, he has been totally honest with you. Accept his reasons and if you really want another baby rather than being with this man then move on.
It's heart wrenching I can see you love him and even if you didn't have an "oil" 
I would hope there wouldn't be an "accident" anyway. However him saying if an accident were to happen then he would step up (It's obviously the right thing to do but) - that's kind of mish mash and giving you false hope if you see what I mean? I know why he said it and you don't intend for this to happen and he trusts you not to do anything covert as it were but...well, yeah.
Maybe an ...He shouldn't have said that or mentioned it kind of thing. An unspoken truth.
Think I'm confusing myself now!!
I can feel your frustration 
But, free will is free will and he sounds like a decent bloke in every other respect. It's a difficult position for you to be in and time isn't on your side... As clichè as it sounds, but true enough, you may just have to get over the urges to have a baby and try to be happy with a brilliant relationship and step father for your child.
Who knows, maybe he will be open to the idea of adoption or fostering? I KNOW it's a big step and far away from having your own child. It sounds as though he has accepted his lot in life as is and in order to be with him you'll have to accept this too.
Bloody hard x
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