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ebf.. expressing so I can leave baby.. this is causing me stress..

(27 Posts)
justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Fri 04-Nov-16 21:44:40

I now have DD2 and this is my second time ebf. I didn't have the greatest support from my mum who never breastfed any of us.

Over a year ago my father passed. My younger brother is turning 18 just before Christmas and my mum wants all his siblings to meet in London for a meal. We come from a few different locations to London is the best meeting point.

I can't express. Maybe someone can give tips but whenever I've done it I've literally expressed a tsp from both boobs! Tried manual and electric pumps. This was after I had just given DD1 a feed which I was advised to do..

Anyway my mum ideally wants me to come to the get together alone and I also think it is a lovely idea but now I'm stressing about my baby being fed! She'll be 4.5mo and my mum has obviously suggested formula but I'm just not keen..

Any tips on expressing or handling this situation? My brother is autistic, has recently moved far and has been so withdrawn and sad since my father past so I must be there!

If all else fails baby will just have to tag along.. would prefer to avoid this as my ff advocate siblings will definitely dish out a few sarcastic comments.

P.s. totally not against ff! Just don't have much ebf support from close family.

SpeckledyBanana Fri 04-Nov-16 21:46:59

I couldn't express much either, but especially not after a feed. Can you try before a feed instead?

ftmsoon Fri 04-Nov-16 21:48:59

Tell them to bugger off! I didn't leave DD long enough to need a feed until she was at least 9months old. She and I were a package, and ebf was part of that package.

AntiHop Fri 04-Nov-16 21:54:01

Take the baby with you.

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Fri 04-Nov-16 21:55:49

ftmsoon I feel the same and what a clever way to describe it! I think I'll take her with me and say that to them if any negative comments are made. Thank you

SpeckledyBanana Fri 04-Nov-16 22:00:04

Oh yeah, but I'd just take the baby, personally.

I loathed expressing.

Coconut0il Fri 04-Nov-16 22:00:21

I never expressed for DS1 but with DS2 I tried an electric pump. I couldn't get loads but found if I got comfortable and kept going for a while eventually I could get a bit. I can't remember how long it lasts but could you do a little each day to build up a stock before you go?
Alternatively take baby with you and ignore any comments or DS1 occasionally had the ready made formula.

chipmonkey Fri 04-Nov-16 22:09:39

Could your dh/dp stay in a nearby hotel and mind dd2 and let you feed her just before and just after your meal?
FWIW, I never was able to express just after I fed the baby. When ds4 was newborn, dh and I made plans to go away for two days when he was five months old. I sat down at 10.30 every evening and expressed. At first I didn't get much but after a while I was getting 3-4oz By the time we went on the trip I had expressed 138 Oz.
Having said that, one of my friends, although she fed her dd for 6 months never managed to express a drop. It doesn't work for everyone and if it doesn't work for you, don't feel pressurised into leaving her.

ftmsoon Fri 04-Nov-16 22:10:36

IMO people are going to judge you whatever, so try and do what makes you happy. If I can help you a bit I'm very glad. smile

maccamummy Fri 04-Nov-16 22:15:22

I didn't have this problem but a friend who did found that expressing from one side whilst feeding on the other side produced much more milk. Maybe that'll help. Alternatively take your baby and ignore the comments! (Easier said than done).

Catcrazy08 Fri 04-Nov-16 22:17:38

La Leche league have a helpline you can call and speak to an advisor, they are fantastic and very knowledgable. I had to express before going into hospital when my baby was 11 weeks old and called for advice beforehand. I ended up renting a hospital grade breastpump from there website. It was the bees knees.
Don't let anyone put pressure or tell you how to feed your baby.

MadameSilva Fri 04-Nov-16 22:21:05

Take the baby.

However, re expressing, I wasn't very prolific either. The only way I could express enough milk was to only feed from one breast over night then express in the morning from the full other breast.

amysmummy12345 Fri 04-Nov-16 22:21:11

I found expressing about 4am the most productive as its when your body produces more milk, I also find looking at pictures of my daughter/looking at her as I pump stimulates the milk...

OohNoDooEy Fri 04-Nov-16 22:23:14

Formula for a day will be fine

NotWithoutMyMerkin Fri 04-Nov-16 22:25:46

Have you tried consistently expressing multiple times a day for a week? It can take this long to increase supply. So express, for example, three times a day and keep going for a few minutes even after the milk stops flowing. Think of it as putting in the milk order. After a week of this you should see an improvement. And hire a hospital grade pump - the medela swing is great - they really do make a difference

kiwiscantfly Fri 04-Nov-16 22:28:54

I can only get any decent amount when I pump first thing in the morning, and definitely nothing after I've fed DD. I'd keep practising and also start practicing feeding DC from a bottle, because it won't matter whether you express or use formula, if she refuses a bottle (like mine is doing) you probably won't be able to leave her.

Good luck, I feel your pain. I've got a black tie event, a hens do, and two weddings between now and DD turning six months, so far she's not taken a drop from a bottle.

icclemunchy Fri 04-Nov-16 22:31:50

I'd be wary of expressing multiple times a day, yes it will up your supply but risking oversupply issues just for a meet up seems daft. Don't forget if you go without her OP you'll prob have to express somewhere then you either have to dump it ( which is blinking horrible after all the hard work) or go through the hassle of finding a way to store it.

I'd just take her with me, but then I'm a hard nosed cow and my family know any snide comments just bounce off me wink

MotherFuckingChainsaw Fri 04-Nov-16 22:35:28

The thing is even if the OP wanted to feed formal for the day AND assuming an ebf baby would take the feed , her boobs are going to be agony within hours and the day out is going to be no fun at all.

I had an ebf baby and I could express ok, and I bloody well HAD to if I was away from the baby for more than a few hours. It HURTS. Then you leak. I went for a Job interview ( internal promotion thingy) at the end of my maternity leave, and just as I was going in to the interview a new mum brought her baby in to show to colleagues, and it cried. I ended up in the loos stuffing extra paper down my bra to try and deal with the leakage. Not what you need at an interview.

justonesherryformedicinalpurpo Sat 05-Nov-16 00:17:32

Right I've decided she is most definitely coming with me.

Some great tips about expressing which I will bear in mind for future reference though and good point about the sore boobs! Comple forgot about that!

*Oohnoo" I can't just give her formula on the day and hope she's okay with it!

Wow kiwi good luck to you with all of those events!

Thanks all for helping me make a decision.

GiddyOnZackHunt Sat 05-Nov-16 00:24:39

I couldn't express. Every single bit of advice, every type of pump including hospital was hopeless.
Glad you're taking the baby!

Nottalotta Sat 05-Nov-16 10:29:06

Agree on taking the baby ( though in reality I probably wouldn't go at all!) I tried and tried to express, eventually managing to get one or two ounces at a time by doing it at the same time, evening, every day. It took weeks though, and by that time ds wouldn't take a bottle.

BertieBotts Sat 05-Nov-16 10:34:39

Just take her with you. I wouldn't have left a 4 month old. Won't your siblings want to see their niece anyway?

Artandco Sat 05-Nov-16 10:42:19

I would just take also

However, I also don't think formula is evil. I also breastfed mine, but couldn't express. From 2 months Dh gave them both a little formula once a week from a doidy cup. Just about 3oz. But it made me happier knowing if I was suddenly taken ill or couldn't be there then Dh or someone could feed baby. Is this something you would consider?

TheABC Sat 05-Nov-16 21:59:53

Good luck with the meet up. Just dress her in the warmest, prettiest thing you can find and if anyone asks, simply repeat "this works for us". I am mildly amazed your mum is not more supportive of her coming - mine would be snapping my hand off to cuddle DD.

Lindy2 Sat 05-Nov-16 22:05:13

I'd just take baby with me. If you don't see the rest of your family much wouldn't it be nice for them to see your baby too?
You don't need their approval to bf. Your baby = your choice.

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