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Would you leave a nursery for this? And how do I go about settling him all over again

(38 Posts)
hearthattack Tue 25-Oct-16 21:52:47

DS has just turned one. He's my first.

He's been in nursery three mornings a week for just over a month since I started working part time. The nursery wasn't our first choice but was the only one who could fit around my hours. I've had niggly concerns since the beginning but thought I might be being precious. Today I was actually really uncomfortable leaving him there. My concerns, chronologically, are as follows:
They seem to rely quite heavily on volunteers (all be it long serving and capable ones) for staffing. This makes me think they're more concerned with cost saving than child welfare.
They're due to relocate to new, smaller premises soon. Upheaval for DS plus suggestive of declining numbers?
They do no 'activities' with the kids. No painting, crafts, music, outings. Just seem to stop them killing each other while playing with toys inside and in the (concrete) 'garden'.
DS is vegetarian and they've accidentally fed him meat twice. His book says he's also had sweet and sour rice, angel delight and chocolate biscuits as part of his lunch. Their kitchen facilities aren't great and I wonder about the standard of food in general.
My friend sends her child to the same nursery and I know she has stipulated dummy only at nap time. Whenever I've seen her there she ALWAYS has her dummy in.
Today when I dropped him off, it being half term, they had some older children there. There were three babies (between 8 and 12 months at a guess) two 3ish yr olds and four primary school aged children ( youngest about 5, oldest at least 10) all in the same room. There were only 2 members of staff.
When I picked him up it was chaos . He was sobbing and strapped into High chair with no food I front of him. When they saw me coming they rushed him out and said he needed his nappy changing. His nappy has obviously been dirty for some time (seepy, smushed around). He has nappy rash for the first time ever. The staff seemed obviously struggling and it took me a long time to calm him, he was so upset.

My employer has agreed to change my hours so I can do fewer longer days rather than five short ones. This means we can go to our first choice nursery (lovely staff, age appropriate rooms, big garden with animals, sensory rooms, great kitchen and brilliant local reputation).

Am I being precious to move him? Will he be happier in the long run? How do I help him cope with the change? Should I do anything else to report my concerns?

He is a sociable, out going, very smiley little boy . We had a couple of tearful moments when he first started but he's not a particularly clingy baby and makes friends easily.

Also, I'm going to have to take him out of existing nursery quite quickly to avoid paying another months fees up front. Do you have any experiences of nursery's coming down hard on these situations? I don't want them to take it out on him! What do I tell them?

Sorry for all the Qs and epic post. I don't know how best to handle this.

LeopardPrintSocks1 Tue 25-Oct-16 21:54:55

Get him out of there asap.

Stormwhale Tue 25-Oct-16 21:55:35

Move him. Absolutely move him. I would not be happy at all. You aren't being precious, get him out of there.

neolara Tue 25-Oct-16 21:55:38

That sounds terrible. Sorry. I'd definitely take him out if you can.

isittimeforarainbow Tue 25-Oct-16 21:56:58

Absolutely change nurseries, it sounds awful. I would be out of there with no hesitation and would be giving ofsted a call too. He will settle in to a new one, just give him time.

LottieDoubtie Tue 25-Oct-16 21:57:07

I don't think I'd be sending him back even once more tbh. My DS went to nursery just before he was 1 too and I've not had anything like that many things to raise an eyebrow/complain about.

He doesn't sound well cared for I would move without hesitation.

A good nursery will help him settle in- let them take the lead if you trust them and it will be fine.

katienana Tue 25-Oct-16 21:57:31

Take him out and ring ofsted it sounds awful

BusStopBetty Tue 25-Oct-16 21:58:00

Fucking hell, where was his nursery, Romania in the 1990s?

A word to ofsted would be a good idea.

WilshireBoulevard Tue 25-Oct-16 21:58:06

That nursery sounds absolutely terrible. Definitely move him, and quickly!

Lovelongweekends Tue 25-Oct-16 22:01:27

Move him. It sounds awful.

Peppapogstillonaloop Tue 25-Oct-16 22:02:09

Move him immediately and contact ofsted sounds awful

WineCheeseSleep Tue 25-Oct-16 22:04:37

I agree with the other posters, you are NOT being precious! Any one of your concerns would be enough for me to move him. He sounds like he'll be fine moving, at his age he'll probably forget the old place in no time!

cestlavielife Tue 25-Oct-16 22:06:22

Don't know why you are wavering.
Take him out don't take him back.

bibblebobblebubble Tue 25-Oct-16 22:07:15

Move him, clearly they can't cope. He's only one and he'll adjust just fine, you need to think of where he will be best cared for in the long run.

HerSpookyFattyness Tue 25-Oct-16 22:07:45

Absolutely move him

AidingAndAbetting Tue 25-Oct-16 22:07:48

Gosh no, you are not being precious. Absolutely nice him.

AidingAndAbetting Tue 25-Oct-16 22:08:13

* *MOVE him obvs.

treetops104 Tue 25-Oct-16 22:12:38

As PP say, if you're in a position to move to a nursery you're happy with then absolutely do so. There's several alarm bells here. Just check what their policy is about notice for leaving, I know some nurseries ask for a months notice (i.e. a months payment if you leave straightaway!). He sounds like he'd settle in the new place no problem!

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Tue 25-Oct-16 22:12:57

Absolutely move him. Tbh I think you could move him asap and insist on getting your deposit back and not having to pay any remaining fees as they are clearly not taking care of your child in any way that is acceptable. They're evidently not following the eyfs curriculum either. I agree that a word to ofsted wouldn't go amiss.

MyschoolMyrules Tue 25-Oct-16 22:13:02

Move him - I am a childminders and I don't like the sound of your current nursery at all. Problem is what is in your contract with current nursery? Most will have a one month notice period. Your ds will settle in well in new nursery don't worry about that too much. Check with new nursery what their settling in policy is.

Tell your current nursery asap face to face and bring it printed or written down for their file. Nurseries and childminders are used to dealing with children leaving it's part of the business, don't worry about upsetting them. Just say your shifts are changing and you have found a closer/more practical nursery.

If you want to you can call Ofsted. They will note for future inspections and may call for an inspection if the nursery is due one or over due.

hearthattack Tue 25-Oct-16 22:17:14

Ok, thanks. I don't think I can do anything other than take him there tomorrow but that will be his last day.

I hope tomorrow doesn't scar him for life! confused We were all sick recently (connected or inevitable nursery bugs?) and I had to have time off from my new job, otherwise I'd consider pulling a sicky and keeping him home. He does has seemed broadly happy there until today. He waves hello as soon as we get into the car park and likes the other kids.

Shit, maybe I've been a crappy parent because I was worried about pissing off the sodding nursery! blushangry

MargoChanning Tue 25-Oct-16 22:18:19

The nursery sounds awful. The fact alone that they don't do activities is dreadful. I'm no expert but aren't nurseries meant to follow some early years foundation curriculum or something?
I'd get him out ASAP and report to ofsted.

HerSpookyFattyness Tue 25-Oct-16 22:19:39

You're not a crappy parent. You have noticed something isn't right and you are taking steps to solve the issue and make sure your DS is safe. That's not a crappy parent.

hearthattack Tue 25-Oct-16 22:21:10

The contract does say we need to give a months notice. But there's no deposit and we have paid up until the end of Oct so if I take him out after tomorrow I can't see how they'd pursue us for the notice period fees. Particularly given my reasons for leaving.

uhoh2016 Tue 25-Oct-16 22:21:13

You don't have to give a reason as to why your taking him out as it could be a lots of different reasons.
Trust your gut instinct if something is telling you its not the right place for your child then go with it.

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