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How to limit dummy almost 2y

(14 Posts)
golfmonkey Wed 19-Oct-16 18:35:47

Hi, would appreciate some advice. Dd is dummy crazy. It's like a drug to her. She constantly asks for it during the day even though she is only allowed it for naps and bed. I don't have a problem with using it (obviously!) but DH hates it and as he is fairly hands on I want to respect his wishes. We have strict dummy rules - no talking with it, no walking with it, has to give it back before getting out of bed. Rarely ill cave and give it her at other times to calm down from a tantrum , provided the tantrum isn't about the dummy!

Has anyone had a child who constantly wants the dummy but has given it up at an age before 3-4? What else can I do to stop this incessant 'dummy dummy dummy dummy' ad infinitum all day? Thought it might be a phase that passed but has been going on a good 3 months. Her little sister has a dummy at 6 months but I'm trying to limit her use so dd1 doesn't get jealous. To be fair, she seems to understand that side. Of things.

Any advice welcome!

kiki22 Wed 19-Oct-16 19:12:27

Sorry to say but I think you need to give it up completely I had a similar problem with ds1 and his bottle (he had no dummy) I found limiting it was a fight I had to bin it within a few days he was over it and never bothered again.

I think of it like any addiction really you need to give it up get it out of your system keeping it now and then just makes it harder.

golfmonkey Wed 19-Oct-16 20:12:59

Can I ask what age he was? I sort of feel ive missed the boat with a cold turkey dummy ditch because dd is too old for that and would just have a major meltdown, but maybe if we did a joint dummy ditch with both girls it would work. In all honesty I don't want to take it out of my arsenal of parenting tools but maybe ill have to. If we took it away we couldnt re introduce it and then what would i do when i have 2 kids having a meltdown??? Anyone think a joint dummy ditch is a good/terrible idea? Not sure I have the balls...

Artandco Wed 19-Oct-16 20:16:10

Just bin. Two days meltdown, then forgetton. Buy wine

Flingmoo Wed 19-Oct-16 20:18:43

I wish I'd taken my 2.5 year old's dummy away BEFORE I turned his cotbed into a toddler bed. I tried it recently and it was impossible as he kept getting out of bed. Why didn't I think of that before going from cot to bed?!

Mine were not far of 2 when we finally ditched the dummies - they had been for bedtime/naps/injuries/illness from 1 year old.

We took each child to a shop and let them choose a toy, which they then 'paid for' with the dummies (we negotiat d this with the shop, and one of us paid for the toy once the other one had whisked th child out of the shop.

Other parents leave the dummies out for the dummy fairy, who takes them away to give them to babies who need dummies because they are so little, and leaves a toy in return.

The good news is that, at 2, she will be able to understand a simple explanation of either approach.

Gah - off 2, not of 2. blush

Justwanttoweeinpeace Wed 19-Oct-16 20:26:30

We had a dummy monster. Shortly after his second birthday we rounded up a bag full of them, announced that now DS was a big boy he was too big for dummies and that a new baby needed them. We presented them to a mates' baby. Baby returned the favour with a big fancy new truck.

Every time we had the inevitable tantrums I offered to swap back the dummies / truck. The truck got almost close to the front door once.

After a few days it was all over.

Good luck op!

kiki22 Wed 19-Oct-16 20:57:15

Dd1 was about 2.4 I think it was shit for a couple of days with constant moaning and the odd screaming fit but once those days were over it wasn't mentioned again id been trying for about 6 months because he didn't want to eat just drink milk from his bottle and I was worried he would get ill. I honestly think its actually easier in the long term 2/3 bad days than months if it pick a good few days that you can distract her and you have help in hand yo deal with the fall out.

I dont know about a double ditch but if you think the baby can go without do it just be aware that the baby might seek another comfort ds1 ditched the dummy himself at 10mo but needed the bottle instead.

golfmonkey Wed 19-Oct-16 21:05:18

Oh this is good to know thank you. Honestly I don't think I'm ready myself to get.rid, but I think the advice about doing it before removing cot sides is v good. We don't have any imminent plans for this. Might have a chat with DH and find a time we can both manage to be around and just suck it up and go for it. Or I might just bail on the idea argh! Sounds like it's going to have to be all or nothing though. Never mind! Thanks for the advice x

babyblabber Wed 19-Oct-16 21:15:05

For DS I got rid of the dummy at 22 months, DD1 was 26 months. DD2 is 20 months and after being minded for two days by FIL while I worked, is now obsessed with it so thinking of getting rid of it. I think you would have to do the baby's one too which is a shame coz I think they are great til around two, but it wouldn't be fair to your older DD.

We use a method called bye bye binky (google it) and then soother fairy takes what's left of the destroyed soother away and leaves a present instead. Both DS and DD1 asked for it a few times after it was gone and we just reminded them of their present and they were fine. I think the older they get the harder it would be to get rid of so around 2 is S good age.

ODog Wed 19-Oct-16 21:20:51

My 2.4 yo still has a dummy for naps and night and also has a 5mo sister who has a dummy. It's not an issue for us. he tries it on sometimes and pinches DD's dummy or will ask for it. I tend to distract him with Peppa and he forgets. It's still a big comfort for him at night and since he was such a horrific sleeper I'm in no rush to change this. His teeth/speech are fine so I trust that he will give it up when he is good and ready.

Bribery is definitely your friend, golfmonkey.

kiki22 Wed 19-Oct-16 22:33:49

I feel quite bad now when I got rid of the bottles I cut the teats off and showed ds so he knew I was serious shock bad mummy!

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