This morning, as I dropped of my 2-year-old, she cried. As I waved 'bye, bye' to her and went for the door, she burst out in the saddest cry, and was immediately given a cuddle from her favourite nursery worker, who held her close and comforting in her arms. What stuck with me most after I left the nursery was the type of cry: It wasn't the angry and surprised cry of a child who's not used to being left with other adults by its mum, it was the sad and knowing cry of a child who knows that yet again, mummy is leaving, and I will spend the whole day away from her.
And so I wondered for the millionth time: Am I doing the right thing, working four days a week and leaving her at nursery from 8.30 - 5.30? Yes, it is an absolutely wonderful nursery, all the staff are loving and well educated and its Ofsted outstanding. DD clearly enjoys being with her little friends and talks about them all the time, and enjoys all the activities they do at nursery. And she does not cry every day she is dropped off, most often her dad drops her off and she cries only on very rare occasions when he drops her off. And she is always bright and happy when I come to pick her up.
But wouldn't she be happier, and thrive more, if she spend more time - maybe even all her time - with her mum or dad, being taken to play groups and play dates regularly? I know that for us, at the moment, it is a hypothetical question. We cannot afford for me to stop working, and with a new baby arriving in two months’ time, I will need her to go to nursery at least some days for a while, as I settle in with the new baby, having no family or close friends around who can help out.
Secondly, I do enjoy working and succeeding professionally, and part of me thinks it's important to show DD that it is possible to be a working mum, that is not so that women must do all the childcare while the men make the money. That there’s a point in her doing well in school. Ideally, I would like both DH and I to work part time, so that we could share the childcare 50/50, but as his salary is double of mine, that is not financially possible.
But honestly, are we doing the best for our children when we put them in childcare, so that we can go to work? Or are we depriving them of spending time with the people who love them the most, their parents?
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Is it really good for small children to go to nursery/childminder?
123 replies
Londonmamabychance · 18/10/2016 11:44
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