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(14 Posts)
user1474320794 Mon 17-Oct-16 15:13:34

I know I'm being silly, they're doing it so I don't feel awkward but I'm always made to feel like I've got to hide away while I feed my baby. When we go to mil and fil, I was always told to go up to my partners old bedroom to feed my baby if I liked, so that's the normal now I go there, also have a toddler, while obviously they keep an eye on her, it would be nice to be more involved. Went to pub for lunch , was suggested I go to car to feed baby.just felt like I'm hiding. Obviously I wear convenient clothing so I am not leaving myself hanging out shockI also have a cover to use if I particularly feel in an uncomfortable surrounding just wondering on thoughts....

AGruffaloCrumble Mon 17-Oct-16 15:18:11

My PIL tried to do this. One day I just got on with it discreetly. I wasn't being shut out for something so natural! FIL loves to make a big scene out of it all hmm
Just do it OP. Tell them to FO if they say anything. How offensive.

StrawberryQuik Mon 17-Oct-16 15:27:55

I guess it's more awkward at their house but any public space/your house practise the phrase 'no thanks, I'm quite comfortable here' and just have it on repeat.

At least your MIL doesn't come right up to you and try to chat to the baby mid feed like mine does grin I get DH to nicely tell her to go away she's distracting the baby!

sianihedgehog Mon 17-Oct-16 15:33:30

I think I would just reply that I'm perfectly comfortable where I am, thank you for offering. Several people offered private places for me with my son, and I really only took them up if I wanted to!

Daffydil Mon 17-Oct-16 15:34:46

My FiL always leaves the room when I start feeding grin result!

Daisyandbabies Mon 17-Oct-16 16:20:11

My step dad made a big deal the first time and said he felt uncomfortable and left the room. I just carried on and soon everyone around me got used to it. I always wore a vest top under my other top, so I could pull one up and pull one down. I fed everywhere like this, including on public transport and on benches in the city centre and nobody ever said a word

NorahBhone Mon 17-Oct-16 16:27:34

My Mil is the most pro breastfeeding person you could meet. I would probably have been ostracised if I had formula fed(!) However, every single time I was at Mil or at sils she'd ask me if I wanted to feed dd upstairs. I breastfed for 12.5 months. It was a long time to keep saying 'no, I'm ok here thanks '. I was on the verge of telling her to f off as it was doing my head in so much. I couldn't see the point of visiting if I was going to spend most of my time sitting upstairs. I think her heart was in the right place but I still don't quite get where she was coming from.

SpeakNoWords Mon 17-Oct-16 16:30:12

I would just mentally rehearse saying "no thanks I'm fine here". At your in laws house, perhaps you could just start feeding where you are rather than go upstairs. Don't announce it or anything, just feed and say nothing about it.

BackforGood Mon 17-Oct-16 16:33:22

I think it's kind of them to offer. When I was breastfeeding, it was all new to me, and I felt more comfortable where I could just get everything out and try to sort myself out with a bit of privacy.
Of course, once people become more confident, then can just say - thanks for the offer, but I'm fine here thanks - and leave it at that.

NerrSnerr Mon 17-Oct-16 16:37:09

I remember going out for a meal with my inlaws and MIL asking me what I'll do if the baby needs feeding while there. I think I responded 'I will feed her'. They have never spoken about the weather more than when I was BF they found it awkward but I was always discrete and think they got used to it.

Lireal Mon 17-Oct-16 16:44:43

I think you may be over-thinking this.
If you had wanted to feed in private, maybe baby gets distracted if there's stuff going on, then you know the rooms there. Otherwise, just say your fine where you are.

Dixiechick17 Mon 17-Oct-16 17:25:43

I kept trying to hide from my in-laws as DH didn't think they'd be comfortable with it, I got so fed up with hiding away when they were visiting for three weeks that in the end I just ignored them and carried on as normal, unless I actually wanted to get away from them for a bit ;)

user1474320794 Mon 17-Oct-16 17:40:46

Yes definitely think I am over thinking things, they just don't want me feeling uncomfortable.

MyBreadIsEggy Mon 17-Oct-16 17:42:34

If you're not uncomfortable feeding in front of them, then stay exactly where you are!! If they are uncomfortable about it, then they should leave the room not you!

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