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The snip is done..

(14 Posts)
2ndbabymama Sun 16-Oct-16 06:25:54

After two healthy, beautiful boys my husband and I agreed he should have the snip. It's all done and dusted a few months back. I don't regret the decision but there are some strange feelings I have now about it. Maybe just over a milestone of an event, a line in the sand or something. I feel sad that every day the boys get older and we'll never do it again but I still think it's the right decision. Two traumatic and one life endangering birth definitely made me think about counting our amazing blessings and saying no more for their sakes. Anyone else feel like this?confused

neversleepagain Sun 16-Oct-16 08:01:12

Yes! We have 4 year old twin girls. Dh had the snip last year and the relief is immense. I really do not want anymore children and the fear of falling pregnant was interfering with our sex life. I refuse to take artificial contraception so we were relying on condoms.
I take my hat of to women with more than 2 children, I can barely cope with two let alone 3, 4, or 5!

TwoMs Sun 16-Oct-16 08:11:40

We have also decided to stop at two children so my husband has his appointment booked for November. Every now and again I get a weird feeling about it that I can't put into words.
I have discussed it with a close friend and she suggested it might be because we have boys and subconsciously I want to try for a girl!
I think it's because it's so final. There's no going back.
How old are your children?

2ndbabymama Sun 16-Oct-16 08:35:11

I have two boys who are 4 and 8 months. It's definitely not a gender thing but I can see it might be for some people. I also think no way could I have three which makes the feelings so much more confusing! My husband is 42 and is delighted having two. I think he's feeling a bit old now grin

AmberEars Sun 16-Oct-16 08:39:32

I think this is really normal. Maybe a bit similar to the feelings of women approaching menopause? No desire for another child, but still a bit sad that it's no longer an option.

GinIceAndASlice Sun 16-Oct-16 08:47:41

I got really upset when dh had it done. Even though it was 100% the right thing to do. I couldn't explain how unsettling I was finding and I felt quite emotional. It was like a little mini grieving.

I had a 3 yo dd and 1 yo twins.

Previously I had been told I would not survive another pregnancy, due to heart problems and a pulmonary embolism I'd had during the previous births.

2ndbabymama Sun 16-Oct-16 08:48:57

That's what I thought, not so much the desire for a child but more the passing of the opportunity forever and moving on to the next stage of life. All quite deep and serious . Has definitely made me reflect for longer and more than I thought I would.

2ndbabymama Sun 16-Oct-16 08:51:20

I definitely felt like it was some sort of grieving process but didn't want to mention that for fear of offending anyone. Obviously being able to have two babies has been such a blessing. It's really helped knowing its not just me feeling like this!

uhoh2016 Sun 16-Oct-16 21:35:03

Yes definitely understand how you feel. I was sterilised last week and although I'm happy I don't want/couldn't cope with any more children it does slightly pull at the heart strings to see others announcing pregnancy or births. My youngest seems to have grown from a baby to a toddler overnight aswell making it a bit harder too.

malvinandhobbes Tue 18-Oct-16 14:42:08

My DH is at the GP right now discussing this, and hand on heart I wish he wouldn't.

We just had our third baby, we are old. I am early 40s and he is late 40s. I have a career I don't want to kill. I hated my third pregnancy, and the baby is absolutely perfect in every way.

We need to be done, I just hate to remove the possibility. I also don't want to go on hormonal birth control again, so this is the best choice.

Aoibhe Tue 18-Oct-16 14:47:23

We have 3 and know that we don't want any more children. I know that I just physically or mentally couldn't do it all again, and it wouldn't be fair on the 3 DC we have, but , neither are we ready to be sterilised. I think it's because we like to know that the possibility of having another baby is there, even though we are both very sure that that will never happen. I think it's a sadness about letting go of that part of your life too.

Sgoinneal Tue 18-Oct-16 14:49:47

Yes, my husband is going in for his soon and I'm on one hand positive that we can't have more (health issues as well as just being happy with the number we have). On the other it feels like the end of that miraculous chapter. The next time there will be tiny babies in the family they will likely be my grandchildren.

Aoibhe Tue 18-Oct-16 14:49:52

Sorry OP, I didn't mean to post without asking if maybe you went into it without dealing with your feelings first?

Although, part of me thinks that's the right thing to do, when you know that another DC is not a sensible thing to do.

2ndbabymama Tue 18-Oct-16 15:25:04

I'm not sure the feelings would have gone away with time until we were physically unable to have anymore and the other contraceptive options were not great for us. Seeing both experiences, especially the second birth (don't google inverted uterus during scheduled c-section before your dinner..) my husband didn't want to see me go through that again. I don't have a desire for another baby as such, more just mourning the ability I suppose. The thought of delivering again makes me break out in a cold sweat, It doesn't really make any sense I know! It's worse because our second is such a happy little thing it's been a bit of a surprise to have enjoyed it so much (although DS1 is also treasured he was a much harder baby and I had bad PND first time round).

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