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The mythical sleepers and other legends...

(61 Posts)
Luckystar1 Fri 14-Oct-16 06:48:13

So, I have a 10 week old DD and an almost 2 year old DS. I did NCT with both of them, and both times my babies seem to be by far the worst sleepers.

I had thought DD was doing really well, with usually only 1 or 2 wakings for quick feeds and back to sleep, but no, already babies are sleeping from 8.30 until 5.30!!! DS didn't do that at 1, never mind 2 months.

Another mum then lamented that their baby was hit and miss and could be up at 2am sometimes!! Ffs, I thought DD was doing brilliwheb she did that.

Why do I never get the good sleepers?! (She has been waking between 3 & 8 times a night this week...) and why do I always seem to be the only one?

Luckystar1 Fri 14-Oct-16 06:49:04

Err brilliantly, not whatever that was changed to!

3luckystars Fri 14-Oct-16 06:51:06

You are not the only one.

I read previously that 50% of children are not sleeping all night at age one. So we are not unusual.

Heads down, keep going.

MrsA2 Fri 14-Oct-16 06:58:38

I only have the one but felt like this too, everyone else seemed to be having full nights sleep within weeks! Are you breastfeeding? I found the formula feeders did get sleepers more often than those of us EBF - I kind of made peace with the fact that I was being woken so my baby could have the really rich nighttime milk and keep my supply up. (I know some ebf babies are amazing sleepers and some formula babies aren't, of course, but on balance there did seem to be quite a pattern.)

Luckystar1 Fri 14-Oct-16 07:02:47

Yes I ebf both. I should've said in my OP that these babies are all breastfed too 😭

I just never understand why mine love me so much they want to spend so much time with me at night too grin...

I just always seem to be surrounded by good sleepers while mine get progressively worse!

TheMasterMurderedMargarita Fri 14-Oct-16 07:13:15

People lie.
And for some sleeping through means different things.
1 or 2 wakings at 10 weeks is brilliant. And totally normal.
I have a 9 year old who did not sleep through consistently until 5.
Now have a 6 week old who wakes numerous times. The first question many people ask is does the baby sleep through the night, folk are obsessed and if they aren't it's as if you have somehow failed. You haven't, if the baby wakes it's because they need to.
It will pass.

Microwaste Fri 14-Oct-16 07:16:33

I had a mythical sleeper, slept through from 10 weeks. Closely followed by two shitty sleepers, one of which didn't sleep through reliably until age 4. All breastfed, all treated the same (no controlled crying for example). Babies will do what they do, how they sleep has very little to do with your input!

EsmesBees Fri 14-Oct-16 07:19:14

People lie about their baby's sleep. Dig a little deeper and you'll probably find they are defining sleeping through as 12-5 or something.

Luckystar1 Fri 14-Oct-16 07:20:17

I think she's doing brilliantly too, that's why I hate when people start going on about theirs doing 'badly' when they're doing the same!!

I think it's part perception, part lies and part luck!

TheMasterMurderedMargarita Fri 14-Oct-16 07:27:38

Just don't say or be vague when they ask.
"Is she sleeping through?"
"Pretty much."

Luckystar1 Fri 14-Oct-16 07:47:01

Oh i like that! 'Pretty much' sounds positive without lying outright!!

GraceGrape Fri 14-Oct-16 07:52:42

Some babies do sleep through. Dd1 slept 9-5 (she had a dream feed at 11) from 8 weeks. Dd2 is 4 and still rarely sleeps through the night! Dd1 was mix-fed and Dd2 bf so I don't know if that made a difference.

scrumptiouscrumpets Fri 14-Oct-16 07:53:23

I always read about these NCT babies sleeping through on mn. I never did NCT as I live abroad, but at the baby groups I went to few babies seemed to be sleeping through. Makes me think it's all down to peer pressure! I'm sure some people lie, and some probably just give a confusing answer. I am definitely guilty of this, too, as when asked I often said DS slept from 7 to 5. What I didn't say, because I was too exhausted for yet another discussion about my child's awful sleep, was that he was awake umpteen times during those ten hours .
Take it all with a pinch of salt op!

INeedNewShoes Fri 14-Oct-16 07:54:19

This is why I'm unsure about the NCT thing.

A friend of my was upset because she was apparently the only one in her NCT clan who wasn't breastfeeding with ease from the outset. I told her that was highly unlikely and that it was probably that she was the only one telling the truth!

It's sad that women feel the need to exaggerate how well things are going!

Littleelffriend Fri 14-Oct-16 07:57:06

Why is it that it's always assumed that people lie? My dd has slept through from 5 weeks old and she's now 5 and a half months. And by sleeping through, I mean from 8 at night until 6 or 7 in the morning.

Sandsnake Fri 14-Oct-16 07:59:51

I don't get the 'pride' some parents take in babies sleeping through. I mean relief, joy - absolutely, but pride seems weird. Perhaps they see it as a sign of their good parenting or something?

OP - your baby seems to be doing really well sleep wise (from someone else who seemed to have one of the only 'bad sleepers' in baby groups etc).

gandalf456 Fri 14-Oct-16 08:03:05

Nct and baby groups are really a bugger for these sorts of parents so I stopped going. My eldest is 12 now and I still remember how shit they made me feel. The ones who knew how awful mine slept were the worst for bringing it up.

Highlove Fri 14-Oct-16 09:12:01

I think I was lucky - my NCT group were either all lovely. Or all of us had bloody awful sleepers!

A lovely friend of mine is in this hideously competitive NCT group - it's all about who's baby was sleeping/eating/now walking first. I'm sure all this competition has contributed to how much she's struggled with the first year - she's taken it all at face value and constantly feels like she's not good enough. It's a real shame.

I also don't get the whole pride in sleeping through thing. Unbridled joy, maybe - at least that's how I'd feel if my two-and-a-half year old ever did. But not pride. Save that up for something that really matters. A good sleeper does automatically mean you're a great parent - just a lucky one!

ZZZZ1111 Fri 14-Oct-16 09:16:02

What does it matter what they other babies are doing? If you are pleased with how you and your baby are sleeping then that's what important! My baby is v wakeful and I know what you mean about the NCT group having better sleepers! But sounds like you're doing great!

StrawberryQuik Fri 14-Oct-16 09:20:30

I think I got lucky with my NCT group, the other ladies are all nice...and honest! (3 good sleepers, 3 not good including mine!)

brasty Fri 14-Oct-16 09:24:36

You would have hated my sister in law. In fact I suspect most women at her baby and toddler group would have. She said all her 4 children slept through very soon as babies. She also told me how she adjusted their bedtimes by 10 minutes every night to get them sleeping at the right time, when the clocks changed. She seemed to suspect that anyone whose babies did not sleep through, simply had bad parents. Yes she was smug, and very very lucky.

bruffin Fri 14-Oct-16 09:28:59

People dont lie about their babies sleep,what a mwan thing to say.

I had two "mythical sleepers* they slept through from 12 weeks

Funnyface1 Fri 14-Oct-16 09:56:39

My first slept through from about 4 weeks and I put it down to the routine I had implemented and declared myself a genius. Got a 6 week old now and it's very very different. She's not terrible but we are nowhere near sleeping through. I am not a genius, you just get the baby you get, luck of the draw. I think its very normal to not be sleeping through at this age.

ZZZZ1111 Fri 14-Oct-16 09:59:49

I think the most annoying thing is when people put their baby's 'good sleep' down to bedtime routine etc. Like the rest of us haven't tried that! We had a bedtime routine in place from 8 weeks, have been consistent with it, made an effort with daytime naps, but my baby still wakes multiple times during the night. Hoping baby 2 (if we have another!) will be less wakeful!

scrumptiouscrumpets Fri 14-Oct-16 10:01:45

People dont lie about their babies sleep,what a mwan thing to say.

SOME people lie. Nobody said they all lie.

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