I have a 9 month old (who has never slept through) and a 5 yr old who has just started school.
I can't go back to work as my husband runs his own business and can't share any school runs or school holidays. After school clubs, breakfast clubs, nursery fees and holiday clubs are absolutely not affordable to us based on the kind of wage I could bring in. We have zero family help and no friends in a position to assist either. Husband works long hours and does not share any household tasks Mon-Fri. Even if we could afford for me to go to work I simply don't see how I could do all I do every morning, get a baby to nursery, a child to school and myself to work by 9am.
I can't bare the fact that I cook and do housework and childcare all day long. I know, I know, I should have realised this before I had kids. I just never knew it would be quite so relentless, tedious and repetitive.
I currently hate my day to day life. Up through the night with the baby. Start the day with both kids 6am, load of washing on, put away from yesterday, unload dishwasher, reload, make numerous breakfasts (everyone likes different things and on different diets, plus 5 yr old going through a growth spurt and has 2-3 breakfasts!). Manic 3 hours until school drop off. Baby always naps on school run so I bring the pram in and get 30 mins peace each day... that is it. Afternoon nap is hit and miss at the moment. If he does go down in the cot he wakes up screaming 45 mins later. After the chaos of the morning I hardly ever feel like making it to a baby group so lately I've been placing him down while I pick up the mess from each room. And thats pretty much our day until 3pm school collection then homework, reading, make dinners, bath, bedtime routine. I don't have any evening at all (go to sleep just after kids do at 7 ish) so have to spend most of the day tidying the mess of the day before.
We recently moved areas so I have no friends to meet for coffee or invite round the break up the day. Plus my house is too much of a tip and far from 'guest ready' so I don't/wouldn't/can't anyway.
I can't have something as simple and enjoyable as a bath in the evening as we are too scared to disturb the baby (noise) as he wakes so easily/frequently.
I'm quite OCD about my environment and it really gets under my skin to see crap everywhere, washing hanging everywhere, laundry to be put away, dishes out on the side, food stuck all over the kitchen floor after every meal time...and no matter how hard I work at it every day it never gets any better.
Yes, we have had a sleep consultant. We followed everything she said and saw some progress but not enough to make life any better for us all.
Sorry this is long. I just needed to rant. I know I should be grateful to have a family and a home. It was actually all I ever wanted. But the reality is sending me loopy. I just want to escape. I cannot see a way to get through what is realistically going to be another 4 years until my youngest is at school.
Weekends arent much better. it seems they are filled with commitments - visiting family, children's parties, catching up on housework.
4 years is a very long time to hate your life every day!
Any ideas? What can I do?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.
Parenting
Absolutely hating motherhood - how can I get through this period without walking out?
88 replies
1t6y9o · 13/10/2016 09:52
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.