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The Bedtime Saga

(13 Posts)
SleepForTheWeak Mon 10-Oct-16 22:05:27

DD (almost 2) is not a good sleeper, never has been. And getting her to sleep at night can be quite challenging.

We have good nights and bad nights of course, but even on the good nights we still needs to sit beside her and run her back/feet/hands/neck until she falls asleep which can take anywhere between 10-30 minutes. Most nights are like this - little fuss but can just take a while. She's had the same routine for about a year and she's usually sleeping about 7.30.

And then we have nights like tonight. 90minutes of almost solid screaming which resulted in her being sick. She just couldn't settle at all, and she's now snoring beside me in my bed.

During the night, she generally wakes once (anywhere between 10 and 5!) and she comes in with us, I bf her and on a good night she'll roll over and go to sleep until morning but on a bad night it can take 1-2 hours for her to go back to sleep.

Just found out I'm expecting again -
and freaking out about bedtimes/nighttimes when the baby is here (not till next June).

I just don't know what to do. She just wants to be close to us at night time, and I don't mind her coming in when she wakes if she falls asleep without much of a fuss.

Just needed to write it all down, DH is away with work just now and I feel emotionally exhausted after that battle and I've got a million things going through my head sad

Thank you if you took the time to read, I appreciate any sympathy, advice or a kick up the bum!!

isthistoonosy Wed 12-Oct-16 21:20:24

Do you think its time to crack on with night weaning?

Phoenix76 Wed 12-Oct-16 21:54:34

Don't panic! Bless you, I've been there and still have times when I think I've cracked it then we're back to square one with the hysterics & melt downs. I'm not sure what your routine is but I find a good bedtime story, particularly ones about sleep really help and, as hard as it is when I'm screaming inside "just go to bloody sleep!!!" the calmer I am the calmer my dd is. Congratulations on the pregnancy, it's only natural to feel anxious about bedtime routines along with a million other things but I can tell you (having dd1 who is 3 & dd2 7 months) you'll be fine we just get through it. Seeing the girls together cuddling & laughing makes all the work more than worthwhile. I wouldn't see a need to give up bf unless you wanted to. Good luck, one night at a time!!! X

SleepForTheWeak Wed 12-Oct-16 22:26:35

Thank you so much for your replies. We had another awful bedtime tonight, she's found out how to take off her sleeping bag and it's caused a whole host of problems.

Our bedtime routine is pretty solid. She loves books and will sit through a whole ladybird fairytale quite happily, we always give her a bath and story before bed. She's just not winding down at all though (even though she's tired) it's like she just can't switch off and then gets upset. You're right though, the calmer I am the better it is but it's so bloody hard to stay calm when she's screaming because she wants her sleeping bag on but then takes it off as soon as she gets it!!!

I would quite like to night wean. I did successfully do it a year ago, and she didn't take a feed through the night for a couple months (hired a SC). As soon as teething and illness struck we were back to square one though, and I've been feeding her when she wakes since. It's harder now as she can actually verbally ask for milk, but I would like to stop before the baby arrives. She's only taken a feed at night/morning since she was around 10months old so don't want her to ask for more if she sees baby feeding (maybe over thinking it?)

Going to turn her cot bed into a bed this weekend, it won't make her sleep better but I reckon I can settle her easier by lying beside her.

Wishful thinking probably!!

Phoenix76 Wed 12-Oct-16 22:38:27

It's like being on a roller coaster isn't it! I find myself thinking " will I even get to watch Holby City tonight???" She's a clever girl, she knows the routine means she's expected to go to sleep & for her that means "mummy won't be here" so she's trying to resist it. It's trying to make sleep a good thing which is way easier said than done!!!!! You're going to be knackered anyway as growing a baby is totally hard work! With the weaning, do what you feel is right, I think as mums we will overthink things for the rest of our days! The cot bed may help, my dd1 thinks she's a big girl now so it has reduced the outbursts, whatever our fate we'll be fine

SleepForTheWeak Thu 13-Oct-16 08:05:51

Thanks Phoenix - it's nice to speak to someone who gets it instead of going straight to night weaning/CIO.

I bought the book 'nurses when the sun shines' and she loves it but doesn't want to put it into practice at nighttime haha.

I'm assuming my milk will dry up at some point during pregnancy and I'm hoping that leads to her night weaning without much input from me - but that's maybe just hopeful thinking!

This morning she woke at 5 shouting for tea and toast, I made a compromise with her and said she could have more mummy milk which she accepted, and then went back to sleep till 7.30....:.:what would I do without having that in my arsenal?!

Highlove Thu 13-Oct-16 13:55:12

I'm just reading Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solutions for tiddler's and pre-schoolers. If you've got Amazon Prime you could have it by tomorrow. smile

Highlove Thu 13-Oct-16 13:55:31


SleepForTheWeak Thu 13-Oct-16 18:51:54

I have her baby one - didn't work for us haha. Might have a look at toddler one though, thanks!

kiki22 Thu 13-Oct-16 19:00:57

My ds slept better in his bed than in his cot I think because he didn't feel that he was being trapped he was happy to be in it he would come get me when he woke up and both go back to his bed. I only lasted a few weeks with the cot bed before I got a single so I could be next to him and comfy. Also giving up the milk at night helped I ended up cutting the teats off of his bottles and going cold turkey harder when you bf.

He was awful at bedtime and through the night when he was small now 4.5 now and had been going to bed alone and sleeping through consistantly for least a year and a half

SleepForTheWeak Thu 13-Oct-16 23:14:05

Thanks Kiki - that's reassuring!

Well, she's asleep in her 'big girl bed'. We had the usual hysterics and I must have put her back in about 20 times until she got the message.

She eventually fell asleep with me lying beside her, which isn't bad considering I didn't think she would settle at all in it!!

kiki22 Fri 14-Oct-16 21:55:29

Keep it up they say you can change anything in 3 days if you are consistent. Also I lay in with ds1 every night until he went to sleep until he was 2.5/3 it was quicker and easier than putting him back a million times. Once I felt he was old enough I got a sticker chart and started working on getting him to fall asleep alone it only took a few weeks for him to get good at it now he does every night.

SleepForTheWeak Sun 16-Oct-16 11:58:34

We've had a bit of success at bedtime the last couple nights - last night she was asleep as soon as her head has hit the pillow.

This has coincided with refusal of a lunchtime nap, meaning she's been awake for 11-12 hours before bedtime.

During the night is still a nightmare though...

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