Helping a 6yo be himself

(6 Posts)
BusyCee Fri 07-Oct-16 23:34:56

6yo DS1 is in a lovely class at a lovely school. He's good friends with a girl who's quite mischievous and a strong character. Teacher had a gentle word with me last week about him making his own decisions as he's got into trouble a couple of times following her suggestions (I think she likes to bend him to her will, and while he's no shrinking violet, he is captivated by her). I've had a chat with him about it and thought he'd bought into 'be your own person' 'no body is better or worse than anyone else' etc....but today he came home from a club he has previously enjoyed saying he wants to stop because it's really pathetic and disgusting. Why does he suddenly think that, I ask....because X said so.

Obviously this is just the start of it. And one of my plans is to help him make friends with other kids in the class by organising other play dates. But what else can I do to teach him to see himself and his own opinions, rather than in rating himself against her and following her (slightly manipulative) bidding?

Unacceptable Fri 07-Oct-16 23:55:17

No advice but been going through similar with DC so interested to see replies

BusyCee Sat 08-Oct-16 19:26:18

Just you and me then, eh, Unacceptable?!

BusyCee Sat 08-Oct-16 19:27:04

How's the view from yours? Have you had any success talking sense to them? How did you position it?

Unacceptable Thu 20-Oct-16 15:59:59

Have had other friends round tor dinner and tried to encourage other friendships but hasn't had much impact just yet. Lots of crossed fingers and positive conversations about following own desires and how friends should 'share' being the leader

BarbarianMum Thu 20-Oct-16 18:02:32

One thing I have always been clear about with mine is that they, and they alone, are responsible and accountable for their behaviour and choices. Truly, the worst crime you can commit in the Barbarian household is to say "so and so told me to do it" or "it was X's idea."

We also try to foster independant opinions but this can be difficult (after all learning to take on board other people's views and opinions is part of growing up). In your situation I'd have asked a few more questions "why does X think the club is pathetic and disgusting? Why do you think she's right?"

Basically though I suspect it's a phase and he'll grow out of it with a little encouragement.

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