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will parents expect to stay at a 4y old's party in my house?

(193 Posts)
RedWineSmile Mon 03-Oct-16 22:03:43

We don't have that big a house, and the invitations have pretty much all been accepted (I had factored in a fair few no's but that has not materialised)... It now looks like 10 4y olds plus my own 2. I could actually vomit thinking about it.

I really hope that parents just expect to drop their kids off and go away for 2h. That's what I thought was done, but the last party we were at in someone's home, quite a few parents stayed. And they had been catered for... I don't know if I will actually have room for potentially 10+ adults too. And I don't think I could get my head around catering for them as well. I'll be too busy leading on Head-Shoulders-Knees and Toes to be opening bottles of San Miguel and passing round cheese straws.


My husband thinks I'm mental that I'm so worried about it, but it is the first party we have had for our DS1 that has not just been a big family buffet at home with cousins to play the party games.

I have gone from being someone fairly hospitable who enjoys having folk round the house to nervous wreck. arghghghg!!!!

Buttwing Mon 03-Oct-16 22:08:10

Sorry but no way. I wouldn't leave my four year old at someone's house for a party. You need to expect parents to stay. A parent at nursery has just tried to have a party like this for her daughter and said on the invitation would parents please drop of as a woman who used to work at the nursery would be there to look after them. I don't think many people said yes to it, I didn't.

Buttwing Mon 03-Oct-16 22:09:27

Sorry meant to add if they do stay you don't have to cater for them. Maybe a coffee if you've time.

PatriciaHolm Mon 03-Oct-16 22:09:41

DS wouldn't have let me leave at that age. DD would have been pushing me out the door!

PatriciaHolm Mon 03-Oct-16 22:10:09

Oh and yes, coffee is fine!

NicknameUsed Mon 03-Oct-16 22:10:35

Some 4 year olds would be OK, but not all. DD wasn't ready to be left at a party at that age. When she had her 4th birthday party only three children's parents didn't stay.

snakesalive Mon 03-Oct-16 22:10:40

I've done 4 ,4 year old parties..parents always stay...up untill about 7 or 8 yrs it seams...I'm always happy to drop off.but round here I'm in a minority

m0therofdragons Mon 03-Oct-16 22:11:13

I have twin 5year olds and would only leave them if I knew the mum really well. No way would I have left them at 4. Sorry, it's too young.

m0therofdragons Mon 03-Oct-16 22:12:12

Wouldn't expect catering though

FeelingHotHotHotOhYeah Mon 03-Oct-16 22:12:36

I left my DD (3 1/2) at a party at her friends house from nursery. Gave the mum my contact details etc if needed and I'd be straight there. She was fine

Belmo Mon 03-Oct-16 22:13:53

I wouldn't have left my 4 year old (she does have allergies, though)

Keepingupwiththejonesys Mon 03-Oct-16 22:17:17

I have an almost 4 year old and was genuinely shocked a few weeks ago when a mum offered to take my daughter and hers to a local softplay for her DDS birthday....without me. No way on earth! We went to a party last week and only one parent didn't stay. I would expect parents to stay up until age 7-8

RedWineSmile Mon 03-Oct-16 22:22:15

Oh dear.

Well, it will be standing room only in the front room, kids in the kitchen/toy room.

Better to be prepared I suppose.

hazeyjane Mon 03-Oct-16 22:24:56

At 4 I'd stay

KarmaNoMore Mon 03-Oct-16 22:26:08

i think I had all parents staying until DS was about 8. I would just offer coffee, but I went to birthday parties were parents were served a separate buffet, and even a very posh one where parents were served tea in the library (the owner left us pretty much in our own but by a nice fire and with chocolate fountain and strawberries to entertain ourselves while the kids were having fun in the garden).

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Mon 03-Oct-16 22:28:06

I stayed at 4 too, everybody did at parties we went to back then. Did not expect anything though, not even tea or coffee.

milkysmum Mon 03-Oct-16 22:31:15

I imagine most will stay I'm afraid! Is it to late to move it to a soft play type place- I know they are hidious but better than that amount of people in your house!

igotnotimeforthis Mon 03-Oct-16 22:32:15

I also have a 4yo DS birthday coming up and thinking of doing a small party at home. I'm sorry to derail the thread but OP how do you plan to entertain the kids or just let them loose in the playroom?

rhetorician Mon 03-Oct-16 22:33:19

i think it depends a bit: my DD2 went to a 4th birthday party last year (DD wasn't herself actually 4) but the kids were all in montessori together and knew one another well. The parents were the brother and SIL of the manager of the creche, plus DD is an outgoing type. I wouldn't have left DD1 at the same age.

igotnotimeforthis Mon 03-Oct-16 22:33:28

And to answer the actual question- I also wouldn't leave my DS alone and I'm expecting the parents to stay

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Mon 03-Oct-16 22:34:37

I would have stayed, but I wouldn't have expected any catering or attention.

RedWineSmile Mon 03-Oct-16 22:38:42

I'll see whether I can find some other venue.
What are parents going to be expecting? Will people genuinely sit in my house for 2h expecting no food or drink? Will they want to watch the kids playing party games or is sitting in a separate room going to be acceptable enough?

Should I leave out my disclosure certificates?

I have had some big parties for various occasions, but it is not knowing what people actually expect that is stressing me out. Ah well. The damage is done!

willconcern Mon 03-Oct-16 22:39:14

Really, people expect to stay til 7 or 8? Why?

4 definitely more borderline.

dogrilla Mon 03-Oct-16 22:39:33

Staying until kids are 7 or 8?? I think most people drop and go by year one. Some by reception.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Mon 03-Oct-16 22:41:23

Mostly I found people just huddled in the hall or kitchen and chatted amongst themselves.

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