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New Mum Anxiety.... Help!!!

(6 Posts)
Spanner83 Mon 03-Oct-16 18:25:46


I am new to all this but hoping by posting this I will hear from other mums who have been through the same thing.

I am a first time mum to a little boy, he is 5wks old tomorrow. I feel absolutely terrible for saying this but I am finding the whole experience very overwhelming. There is no doubt that I love him to bits I am just finding the change to my life unbearable, I am constantly thinking of all the things I can no longer do, nights out and weekends away etc...
He is a great baby and I have the most amazing partner who helps with everything I still can't seem to get over this overwhelming feeling of sadness and doubt that I have made a massive mistake having this baby. I feel I should be enjoying this time in my life but I am not and can't bear the thought of how much my life has changed forever. I keep bursting into tears all the time, I speak to my partner about it and he is very understanding and tells me I how great I am doing and what a natural mum I am and I can't bring myself to say I am not enjoying any of it.

I can't even blame sleep deprivation as my little one has been sleeping through the night, waking just the once for a feed. I am getting out a lot with my partner. I am just finding it harder and harder to get my head round the changes.

Has anyone else ever felt like this and does it get better?

boopdoop Mon 03-Oct-16 18:40:35

So sorry you are struggling. I think it's hard when the enormity of the change of life kicks in, and it can feel really overwhelming. It's great your DS is doing so well with sleep, and you have such a supportive partner, but none of that changes how different life now feels.

I found it took time to adjust, but it got easier and I was more content as time went on. It's also it's not that you'll never be able to do those things again, especially with such a hands on partner,but maybe less and with more planning!

It's also possible you may have a little bit of PND - it's so common and it's really helpful to start treating it sooner than later. It might not be that, but it's definitely worth a chat with your HV or doc, especially as you are so teary. Be really honest with them, they can help you best if you are totally honest.

Lovelongweekends Mon 03-Oct-16 18:44:54

After I had dc1 it almost felt like a bereavement- I pined for my old life with no responsibility and plenty of sleep. I cried constantly and thought it was all a huge mistake. I think it passed by about 3 months and I'm due dc3 any day now!

prokupatuskrakedatus Mon 03-Oct-16 18:48:42

First of all - congratulations!

What "weekends" said:
This feeling is - to a degree - completely normal. Because:
It IS a life changeing event,
it IS overwhelming,
as yet you are improvising motherhood,
your hormones are all over the place,
you are exhausted - even if you don't feel it. Alone the thought of being responsible for the next umpteen years is exhausting.

I had it twice and YES it usually gets better. Your body will go into 'not pregnant' mode, your hormones will adjust, you'll get used to the baby, baby gets used to you. You will get your life back.
But take your time, be kind to yourself and perhaps talk to your midwife / postnatalcarer (?) about it.

Spanner83 Mon 03-Oct-16 19:19:38

Thanks guys, I will just try to take it each day as it comes and hopefully it will start to get better.

Famalam13 Mon 03-Oct-16 20:30:09

I felt exactly like this and know several other people who did so it is pretty normal although not nice!

DS is now 8mo and I feel very differently. I have also carved back some of my old life and you will too smile I find that things improve every month with quite a big improvement at 8 weeks so you are getting close.

You are doing an amazing job and I promise that it gets better flowers

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