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How can I help my DC to stop running off?

(21 Posts)
ConcernedColbalt Tue 27-Sep-16 07:13:36

..manage my 3 year old, how can I encourage DC to do as they're told and stay close to me when out and about? Or return to me when I ask? I'm worried because I'd like to have a 2nd baby but I'm nervous because my child sees everything as a game and won't come to me if I ask. They'll do what they want and run off. I need to know my DC will come to me when I ask as obviously can't run like the clappers with a newborn and risk damaging their head or leave newborn whilst I run after DC! I don't want to restrict their freedom by permanently strapping them in a buggy and atm that feels like what I will have to do. Any advice or tips to try and help me and my child work together? And stop the worry? Thank you

00100001 Tue 27-Sep-16 07:16:14


Artandco Tue 27-Sep-16 07:16:56

I would make them wear reins if they run off and don't come back. Use reins now and they can be the warning of you need to wear these now as you keep running off, if you want no reins you need to show me how you stay close and come back as soon as I call

00100001 Tue 27-Sep-16 07:17:05

Reins, rather!

00100001 Tue 27-Sep-16 07:17:58

ayeokthen Tue 27-Sep-16 07:23:24

Little life backpacks have reins (more of a lead to be honest) and they're great!

DocMcFanjo Tue 27-Sep-16 07:27:10

I don't have all the answers but i do two things.

Firstly I have an absolute rule about holding hands wherever there are crowds or cars (busy streets, car parks etc). I just dully repeat "we hold hands where there are cars, that's the rule" as nauseam. DD protested in the early days and still does half heartedly at times, but she accepts it.

The other is not to chase (unless obvious danger or we're actually playing of course). So wherever possible I let her roam on a little and resist the urge to chase her down. So in a park if she's running excitedly I'll just walk quickly behind and if she turns round expecting me to chase I'll say "Look at you run! Wow! Be careful, I'm not chasing you etc". I'll also ask her to come to me and praise heavily if she does but I DON'T chase her if she doesn't. I just subtly pick up the pace and then get down beside her to tell her she needs to come if I call her etc. (We're still working on this- tbf she's only 2 and a half and parks/playgrounds are very exciting').

I also make plenty of time for unrestrained running and fakes of tag so she knows the difference between "game" and "walking safely".

It's a constant battle though really!

Oh and also I have an 8 week old and she is safe in a sling throughout!

DocMcFanjo Tue 27-Sep-16 07:29:09

"Games of tag", not "fakes"!

somewheresomehow Wed 28-Sep-16 17:21:00

if they cant be trusted to not run then use reins , its better to be safe than sorry

ConcernedColbalt Mon 03-Oct-16 20:43:27

Thank you all. I'm hoping to avoid using reins but I will try making time to get my DC to understand the difference between games and staying safe. That sounds like a good idea. I'm not very good at injecting a stern voice, I think I come across quite badly as I have no sense of tones! Keeping coming with the hints and tips though as I feel like I need an arsenal. Thank you.

Crispbutty Mon 03-Oct-16 20:47:36

Why avoid using them? You wouldn't avoid using a seatbelt.. Or avoid strapping a baby into a buggy..

IzzyIsBusy Mon 03-Oct-16 20:53:32

Avoid using them.
Why would you want to do that?

Nan0second Mon 03-Oct-16 21:03:28

Honestly reins are great. Little life rucksack is a good alternative.
Far better than not letting him get any exercise and a safe way of working on him staying close to you.

ItsNiceItsDifferentItsUnusual Mon 03-Oct-16 21:12:59

If your 3 year old is genuinely regularly bolting then you need to use reins, or trap them in a buggy wherever possible. It's too dangerous.

Ds went through a phase of this when he was about 2. I had a zero tolerance policy, if he refused to hold my hand, I took it and then refused to move further until he held it properly whilst walking. He loves being out and about, so he always gave up before I did. I didn't shout or get cross, but I was firm that unless he held my hand, we weren't going anywhere, and I did that every single time he tried to go off without me. It's really annoying and slow getting anywhere initially but hopefully he will soon get the message.

Honestly, he's way too small to be running off, you've got to take charge to keep him safe.

averylongtimeago Mon 03-Oct-16 21:23:52

Just use reins.

megletthesecond Mon 03-Oct-16 21:26:58

Reins. (Little life backpack)

You wouldn't avoid a seat belt which also keeps your DC alive. Reins save lives until the child is old enough not to bolt.

Oliversmumsarmy Mon 03-Oct-16 21:27:11

Reigns with an extendable dog lead attached that way they can run quite far when it us safe to do so but stop them wen necessary

froubylou Mon 03-Oct-16 21:30:01

little life back pack. I won't have ds loose without them. He is a bolter.

Last time I risked it the little sod bolted in the garden centre bit of b and q, legged it down the aggregates aisle and got hidden in between the stacked up gravel sacks. took me a good few minutes to find him.

I don't know why people don't like using them. Keeps them safe and you don't get or give cramp in your arm holding their hands. And they are easy to unclip in safe spaces for running around.

CauliflowerSqueeze Mon 03-Oct-16 21:31:02

Do some practice in the garden or somewhere safe.
Deepen your voice and sound serious and firm. I remember on an episode of some parenting programme there was a lovely wiffly waffly mum. She couldn't get her son to realise she was being serious. Dr Tanya Byron then said to her "ok, imagine you're in a pub. Some revolting man comes up behind you and pinches your bum. Tell him "No!" "
Well bugger me, Mrs Wiffle Waffle suddenly came out with a "NO!" that made the whole camera crew stop in their tracks.
Try it.
Point out landmarks. "See the lamp post? Walk to it and stop there". If he does then carry on with another landmark. If not, reins.

Love51 Mon 03-Oct-16 21:40:19

Don't put off ttc for this! In 9 mths dc1 will have grown up a bit.
My dc1 had a few tendencies this way. The older they get the easier it is to set realistic limits. Mine are now aware they will get a yes to explore if it's safe, but they have to ask, easier at nearly 4 than just 3! Reins and boundaries and consistency and praise.

228agreenend Mon 03-Oct-16 21:49:30

I 'trained' my dcs in a shopping centre (eg. Lakeside) because you know if they run off, they will still be safe (ie. Not run over).

Basically, I took the pushchair. I explained that if they wanted to walk, they would have to hold my hand or the pushchair. If they ran off, then they would be put in the pushchair. As soon as they stepped away or let go, then I would put them in the pushchair (usually accompanied with protests!). It worked with my kids.

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