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Ex decided to stop seeing son.

1 reply

Jaded2004 · 18/09/2016 01:14

Hi, long time poster/lurker changed names a lot and not been on for a while. I have to be a bit careful about how much detail I go into.
Stbxh was very involved with ds until 18mnts ago. We ended in court and he was awarded one night a fortnight with a prohibited steps order. Communication got worse and things are pretty bad. I have lots of concerns but the court said that if I felt things had improved I could up the access. They just got worse. Ds loves h and I have really tried to improve things but failed. Access carried on with a couple of big breaks as h had holidays hmm. Ds is autistic he is largely on the face of it 'normal' but express emotions or understand his well and I rocked by change and has strong emotional ties to a very small group of people h being one. Ds was shaken to the core with the stuff that happened 18 months ago with h and blamed himself and has only just recovered. A few days ago h emailed me to tell me he is moving away and that he will no longer be having ds. He said he would like to have him a week during the major holidays but that it is up to ds. He said he will not be having him otherwise. I emailed back that it's not ds's decision and that having him for a week during holidays is something that is possible as he knows a) due to court order b) because things I am concerned about, communications and c) it was written in the order specifically what would happen over Christmas and that I also want time with him over holidays but that I would discuss other options and to please reconsider just walking away. H knows I wouldn't agree to the week thing and o think he just wants to walk away, there's a lot I can't put on here. I don't think he will respond to my email. I asked when he will tell him as he will only see him twice before he goes but I'm not even sure he's going to tell him.
So if he doesn't tell him before the second and last time he sees him do I tell him so he has some pre warning and what the fuck do I tell him? And if he does tell him what do I tell him? If he does tell him he will either still say you can come and stay for a week during the holidays or mummy won't let you come and see me. Ds is going to be devastated, he's going to fall to pieces. Any advice really helpful. Thanks

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Jaded2004 · 18/09/2016 12:00

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