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First time mom desperate for reassurance

(11 Posts)
LauLau93 Fri 16-Sep-16 10:04:01

Hi all!
My little girl was born 3 days ago the first night she was home she slept all night only waking for feeds but then was straight back off when put into her moses basket.
Last night it was a completely different story. She constabtly screamed. If she was being fed, held or rocked she was fine and would eventually drift off but when put nack down she would scream a high pitched sound. Is she just trying it on to get some fuss or could something be wrong? We fed, changed and winded her numerous times so it shouldnt really be any of those causing the issue.
Thankyou everyone!!!

Avpixie27 Fri 16-Sep-16 10:09:34

Did you swaddle her in a blanket to put into the moses basket? My son was like that he would want to be held tight and eventually after swaddling him tight and holding him for about 30minutes before lowering him slowly into the basket he would then drift off

imwithspud Fri 16-Sep-16 10:16:03

Congratulations on your new arrivalsmile. It's very normal. They've been inside you for their whole life then all of a sudden they're thrust into this bright, cold and noisy world. They can't even see properly yet - it must be pretty scary.

Don't worry about holding her if that's what she wants. That said you do need to try and rest as well, so try swaddling, it can help. Also waiting a while and making sure she's in a deep sleep before putting her down, and warming her bed with a hot water bottle or similar might work (obviously remove the water bottle before putting her down).

wayway13 Fri 16-Sep-16 10:17:29

My DD slept loads the first day or two. She was probably knackered from the birth and drugs. After that she only slept if I was holding her. She hated her Moses Basket and would scream if I put her down. After 2 weeks we bought a Poddle Pod and she slept on that while I slept next to her.

Your DD doesn't really understand that she's been born yet. Look up "4th trimester". She will want to be with you constantly for reassurance.

HandmaidsTail Fri 16-Sep-16 10:18:50

She's brand new, she doesn't know how to try it on. She's used to being close to you.

I know it's hard. The first few nights we were home with DC1 were the toughest of my life and you just have to do what you need to to get through them.

Soon enough it all settles down. If she's full, winded, warm, clean and dry, cuddles it is for now!

Heirhelp Fri 16-Sep-16 10:21:52

You can also try putting a t shirt you have been wearing or if you are breast feeding a t shirt your partner has been wearing over the Moses basket matress.

The qorld, especially night time will be different and scary for a new born. In the womb they are warm, they can hear your heart beat and blood rushing blood around the the body, they can also see red ish lights. It is exhausting but perfectly normal for a new born to want to be held all night. Read up on the fourth trimester.

Ewen the dream sheep maybe helpful.

crayfish Fri 16-Sep-16 10:39:45

She's three days old, of course she's not trying it on!

It's really hard though, the first couple of weeks with DS I didn't know whether I was coming or going. I know it's perhaps not 'official' advice but we swaddled him (the midwives did it in hospital too, to be fair) and it really helped. Try also putting a hot water bottle in the moses basket before you put the baby in, obviously take it out first, as they are used to being warm and snug. Just watch they don't overheat. It's a minefield at first but things will setlle down I promise.

steppemum Fri 16-Sep-16 10:43:00

Oh, so many things going on.
yy to they sleep a lot for a couple of days to gte over birth.
If you are breastfeeding, has your milk come in properly, she may be feeding, but not getting enough yet.
She needs you, just cuddle and snooze. Some babies like being swaddled, one of mine though was so cramped in womb, he was delighted to be able to lie stretched out.

Just take a few days for everyone to get used to everything, at this stage it is definitely if she cries she wants you, and needs a cuddle.

I didn't co-sleep in general, but I certainly did for the first few days.

sentia Fri 16-Sep-16 10:44:49

It will pass. Just do whatever seems to make her happy while she adjusts to her new reality, I promise it won't last. And try to create an environment that will be familiar to her, when she isn't being held by you - darkness, warmth, restricted movement, rhythmic sounds (breathing/heartbeat - this is where Ewan the dream sheep helps), your smell etc.

Orsono Fri 16-Sep-16 12:09:35

She wants to be held, of course she does, she's known nothing else for her entire existence until three days ago. It's not that she's trying it on, it's just that being held feels right to her. smile The high pitched screaming could mean she's uncomfortable for some reason - you could try propping up the head of her cot a couple of inches so she's lying on a slight slope, in case it's a bit of reflux. Lying them flat on their back can set it off as the milk in their tummy sloshes back against the valve at the top, which is weak in newborns.

Motg82 Fri 16-Sep-16 12:37:02

As everyone said it's completely normal. She's tiny and just needs to know you're there. Please don't worry about routines or getting her to sleep in her own cot if she doesn't want to. I say this from experience, I was very concerned with this with my first. My second is now 6 weeks and I'm so aware how quickly this time passes. Co sleep safely and enjoy holding her through the night. You'll never get this time back so it's really precious. flowers

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