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Started school, utterly exhausted already - how do we help or manage this?

(24 Posts)
Jemimapyjamas Tue 13-Sep-16 10:20:25

My DS was 4 in June and started reception class last Tuesday, all the kids in his class have started doing full days at once, there is no phasing in. He is asleep by 7 PM every night, but is shattered! (He would probably go even earlier but the one time we let him he woke up at 5.30 so I won't let him now.) This morning he went into the classroom and laid down on the mini sofa in the corner, it felt cruel leaving him!

I suspect that asking if we can take a day off wouldn't go down very well (understandably!) so I was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences, and how you coped? I am very keen for him to remain enthusiastic about school, apart from the tiredness he is, so I am very conscious about keeping it positive!

Believeitornot Tue 13-Sep-16 20:10:51

Just keep it very quiet after school in the afternoon. He will adjust.

BarbarianMum Tue 13-Sep-16 20:49:29

Agree with Believeit Very quiet after school, no play dates or activities for now. Vrey early dinner, very early bed. The weather will cool down soon which will help too.

Poocatcherchampion Tue 13-Sep-16 20:52:35

We have this problem. Dd said she cried at school this pm she was so tired....

She still naps in the day really...

No solutions here

waterrat Tue 13-Sep-16 21:01:18

Do you know you have the right to ask for him to go part time until he is 5?

He legally does not have to be in school until then.

I know several people who have done this.

We need to stand up to this rigid ludicrous system that is completely at odds with how small children actually flourish

My DS was 4 un April and after a busy morning will need a lie down.

This system is ridiculous.

gallicgirl Tue 13-Sep-16 21:03:45

Ask if he can go part time for a few weeks while he adjusts. It doesn't have to be every day even, but a couple of days where he leaves at lunchtime might help.

waterrat Tue 13-Sep-16 21:06:30

Our school said that any children who need more time to settle in can have it. I think starting immediately 9 til 3 is ridiculous.

froggers1 Tue 13-Sep-16 21:14:08

Crazy! My daughter started today. Two part days and a full day this week. Full time starts next week except we aren't. I am picking up lunchtime on Thursday and Friday s. School was supportive and I'm not the only one doing this. You can do this until they are five..or any variation.

NonnoMum Tue 13-Sep-16 21:15:50

When my DC started reception, they needed to go to bed by 6pm even though they were used to full days in nursery (8-5), the transition is really tricky...

sunnydayinmay Tue 13-Sep-16 21:15:59

Talk to the school. They may he prepared to let him go home at lunchtime (ours certainty would)/

BoaConstrictor Tue 13-Sep-16 21:19:51

DS was 4 in May and will be having one afternoon off each week until at least Christmas. He will go to the cm after school three days a week & we've had a chat about making a "cosy corner" for DS where he can just curl up and sleep if he wants to. On the afternoons I do pick up, there will be no play date, no activities, nothing.
I am a bit more prepared as DS is DC2. DC1 was vile in her first term & she was Autumn born. I quickly learned to give her a snack as zoo as she came out of school, we had tea at 4.15pm, bath at 5.15pm and bed at 6pm, an hour earlier than when she'd been doing three long days at nursery. That method got us through until a week or so before the end of term when general excitement about the nativity, party etc just led to a lot of crying.

Realitybitesyourbum Tue 13-Sep-16 21:20:14

He doesn't legally have to be until he is 5. Mine went full time straight away, but if they were too tired, I kept them off on the Friday and just said they were too tired when I rang in. Nothing the school can do and having a Friday off let them catch up a bit.

Zippidydoodah Tue 13-Sep-16 21:21:23

Bless him. Definitely ask if you can do some half days. They should understand!

Jemimapyjamas Tue 13-Sep-16 22:16:45

Thank you so much for the replies - it does seem too much for him, at the moment at least. I didn't realise we could legally (not that I know what they'd really do if it was illegal, mind!) put him on half days if necessary. While I think he will adjust eventually I am seriously tempted to see about having a few half days as the way things are looking at the moment I am concerned he will start to not want to go at all which would be awful.
We keep things pretty calm and quiet after school anyway, and definitely nothing like playdates. I can't get him in bed earlier as it makes him wake up earlier which is counterproductive.
Thanks again!

TeaRexit Tue 13-Sep-16 22:21:33

How about trying the earlier bedtime on a Friday night?

See what time he wakes on the Saturday?

He might be so tired that he needs it & sleeps longer from now.

TeaRexit Tue 13-Sep-16 22:24:06

Also was it a summers morning, when he woke at 5.30? Just wondering if blackout curtains will help, if you dont already use them?

BoaConstrictor Tue 13-Sep-16 22:35:42

If you do start doing half days, it is probably better to do them regularly so both he & the school know what to expect. If he seems a bit better in a few weeks, I wouldn't up his hours as the run into Christmas can make even the most well rested, taking it in their stride child horribly fractious.

BarbarianMum Tue 13-Sep-16 22:38:17

If you want your son to do part time you may find the school tells you what that constitutes. At our school it means mornings only. Not really fair to expect the school to cope with dozens of individually tailored timetables.

BikeRunSki Tue 13-Sep-16 22:40:46

I remember this with DS (now year 3) - and he is the eldest in his year, and started on half days - but he adjusted in 2 or 3 weeks. DD started Reception last Tuesday too - and is gradually less tired in the afternoons.

CheeseAtFourpence Tue 13-Sep-16 22:41:10

Our school let them nap if they wanted to. It's a big transition - we hadn't expected it as DD had been in nursery 7.30-5.30 3 days a week but she was shattered. Agree with others - quiet after school activities and early tea and bed.

twofalls Tue 13-Sep-16 22:41:26

Will probably get flamed for this but nothing wrong with taking the odd day off to recharge his batteries. Dds August born friend did this in reception - her mum called her in sick. The teacher intimated it was sensible and nobody batted an eyelid.

DropZoneOne Tue 13-Sep-16 22:45:46

At our school, the spring and summer born children had the option of half days for the first half term. My DD was one of the few to go FT (she'd been FT at nursery but it still took it out of her). By the end of the first month, most children were up to full time, as they'd had a chance to adjust.

DD had the CM after school, we picked her up, into night clothes, then chatting and reading and cuddles, and asleep by 7:30. Low key weekends, she went back to napping for a couple of weeks. She got used to it, but it's a long first term - 5 weeks in her behaviour turned and we realised she was simply worn out. So half term was very quiet and relaxed to help her recharge. It gets easier after that - next term has Christmas stuff so is more fun and spring/summer are shorter.

clumsyduck Tue 13-Sep-16 22:46:21

Ds was like this after starting in reception last year and was known to fall asleep at pre school prior to that !! It seemed a lot of the other kids where the same when I chatted with their parents . Settled down after a couple of weeks as he got used to it .

Just gone in to year 1 and currently exhausted again . They get used to it

Jemimapyjamas Wed 14-Sep-16 13:02:51

We already use blackout curtains TeaRexit

I took him in a bit late today, only fifteen minutes but it seemed to help. He was still fast asleep at 8.15am so it seemed silly to wake him (he's usually awake 6.30 - 7.30.) Im going to play it by ear a bit and see how he copes, if it looks like he's finding it too much I will speak to the teacher about doing a couple of half days, I don't think it's unreasonable considering he's one of the youngest

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