When your parents get involved and offend you

(5 Posts)
Marriedwithchildren Tue 13-Sep-16 05:01:32

We have a new child (our first) and my parents have been round to see her a few times aa they do. The other day my mother text me to say they (her and my father) were not happy and concerned with the way I burb my child over my shoulder. Apparnetly I am too hard and don't realise my own strength.
We went to NCT classes and we were told to be firm when burbing, which I believe I am doing, but clearly I am not in my parnets eyes. This has really bothered me and I am now scared to wind her in case I am being too 'hard' with her. I can accept help and advice but this is just a kick in the teeth to us both as new parents when you just want support. The fact it has come from my parents makes it feel that much worse.

Am I wrong? Am I being too sensitive? Has anyone else had a similar experience? Feel I would be better off cutting my own hands off right now so I don't injure my child with my boxing like mits!

Frogers Tue 13-Sep-16 05:13:00

Your baby would let you know if she didn't like what you were doing.

People will always have an opinion, I'd say "oh don't be so.silly very breezily" if they mentioned it direct to me. If a message, quite honestly I'd ignore it.

SoYouBetterRun Tue 13-Sep-16 05:14:03

I don't think there's any wrong or right about it other than they sent a text rather than talking to you. If I were you, I would check with friends who have babies same age or with your hv at next clinic visit. You're a new mum, you will be sensitive about these things. Goes with the territory. You're not wrong.

squeezed Tue 13-Sep-16 05:17:49

I'm sure you're not winding too hard. I've had a child with colic and the winding became quite ferocious at times just to get it to move. It's a bit odd that your DM sent you a text message like this. If she had concerns why wouldn't she tell you at the time? Is there a history of your parents trying to make you feel bad?
It's quite usual to feel sensitive at this time and not feel that you know what you are doing. Just remember to trust your instincts, you're doing a great job.

Tootsiepops Tue 13-Sep-16 05:22:30

If my parents had said I was being too hard, I'd have listened to them. But they never had form for meddling or interfering or being controlling.

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