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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

My 11 yr old son has been kicked out by his mum

30 replies

Gazza2020 · 12/09/2016 12:47

My 11 yr old son has been kicked out by his mum.
He came to me last Thursday after his mum refused to take him back. I went the school to get him otherwise social services would have taken him to a place of safety. in my eyes that means he would have been taken away and the hell I would have had in getting him back
They have been round today and are going to support me in keeping him with me
How do I find a school for him..im just not sure how to go about things such as applying for child benefit, school support etc
for now my biggest concern is getting him into school asap. He had spent just two days in secondary education before this happened
any advice please
with thanks
Gary

OP posts:

Report

Somerville · 12/09/2016 12:50

Why can't he continue at the school he has started?

The only reason I can think is that you live a long way away from his old school.

If so, you need to phone your LEA - Google to find out which - and explain the situation.

Re child benefit and everything else, make an appointment at CAB.

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 12/09/2016 12:52

What Somerville said.

Also- it might be worth getting a letter from Social Services to confirm he is living with you, just in case any issues arise about which parent should be receiving the benefits for him.

reallyanotherone · 12/09/2016 12:52

It's a day on the phone.

Are you too far from his secondary? He can stay there if you can do the commute, or at least until a place comes up somewhere nearer?

Phone the council schools admissions dept, they'll guide you.

Phone hmrc and get child benefit and tax credits sorted.

Get him registered at a gp and a dentist.

That'll start you off.

Gazza2020 · 12/09/2016 15:08

The school is in St neots about 20miles from me
looks like a day on the phone I have emailed a couple of schools about placement, social services are being helpful

Thanks for the advice

OP posts:

Gazza2020 · 12/09/2016 15:10

Dr and dentist sorted thanks will get in touch with hrmc
thank you

OP posts:

steppemum · 12/09/2016 15:12

The LEA sort school places, not the school. Phone school admissions at the LEA and ask. Poor kid, imagine just starting secondary and having to start all over again.
Can you get him to his old school for now?

Why did she kick him out? Is he struggling with behaviour etc at all?

steppemum · 12/09/2016 15:15

sorry, that sounded like I was blaming him. Just thought it might be more complicated if he is struggling.

Lancelottie · 12/09/2016 15:17

If your local schools are full, ask (explaining circumstances) if the LEA can provide transport for him to his current school for the moment.

Gazza2020 · 12/09/2016 15:28

The only person my son has fallen out with is his mum. What surprised me was my stupidity in believing it was his fault...
He is a well spoken polite kid but there is no respect for each other.
I am happy that he is with me, he feels calmer and a lot less stressed
I will get in touch with the LEA
thank you
Gary

OP posts:

Gazza2020 · 13/09/2016 11:29

Great.
SPOS admissions could take up to 10 days to even reply to my email utterly ridiculous
so at least two weeks off school at the beginning of his secondary education So its ok for them but not for us, if I kept him off school I would face a court appearance and a fine
I hate the double standards of these faceless functionaries

OP posts:

reallyanotherone · 13/09/2016 11:40

Is 20 miles to his current school not possible short term?

Sympathies, I have just relocated and mine is without a school. Catch 22- I couldn't apply until we'd moved, and now we have an official address it takes 20 days to process the applications.

Have you phoned them? I've emailed everything so I have a "paper" trail, then followed up with phone calls to check they have everything, can read attachments etc. I think if you're polite and use sentences "just wanted to check I've attached things correctly/sent the right form" it takes the sting out of you hassling them ;)

A few weeks off Yr 7 won't ruin his education. If you can, go on holiday, give the lad a break, let him get back on an even keel. Or take day trips- lots of National trust sites have educational experiences etc.

Somerville · 13/09/2016 11:41

That's frustrating for you and him, but these things can/do take a bit of time.

A possible way to speed things up is to get social services to contact them directly.

In the meantime get your son on websites like the excellent khan academy and take him along to join your local library and borrow books. Both these options are free. If funds permit then have him join a sports/activity club on a Saturday morning so he can start making friends. And, as much as you have time, also take him out to the park and to museums. Lots of bonding time after what must have been a traumatic experience for him is not necessarily the worst thing in the world right now.

PotteringAlong · 13/09/2016 11:46

It's 20 miles, not a million miles. If you're able to have time off work to keep him with you can you not take him to school whilst it's sorted out?

Gazza2020 · 13/09/2016 12:22

Thank you
trying to organise some of your suggestions. And will look at the khan academy
Gary

OP posts:

CousinCharlotte · 13/09/2016 12:39

Social services should be able to arrange transport to keep him at his school.

NerrSnerr · 13/09/2016 12:42

What an awful situation. Could you take him to his old school in the short term while it's all being sorted?

BlueFolly · 13/09/2016 14:10

So its ok for them but not for us, if I kept him off school I would face a court appearance and a fine

I don't think it's unreasonable for it to take a couple of weeks to sort out the admin and logistics of getting a school place changed. Plus, you are keeping him off school aren't you? So it is OK for you, when appropriate, to keep him off school.

StressedNHSemployee · 13/09/2016 14:13

Are you unable to transport him to school?

Gazza2020 · 13/09/2016 14:48

That's not to sort the place out that's just to reply. and for your information it is twenty miles away and I have no transport i
came on here for advice, not for some troll to voice there opinion so get over yourself I do not need your negativity at this time

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 13/09/2016 14:55

OP people have tried to give advice. Have you tried talking to social services/ the council to see if they can help with transport?

BastardGoDarkly · 13/09/2016 15:01

Council may well provide a bus pass/taxi while this gets sorted, give them a ring.

Are you having to take time off work?

hownottofuckup · 13/09/2016 15:05

Gingerbread is good for advice/support for lone parents

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Gazza2020 · 13/09/2016 15:48

Thank you for all the positivity. social worker is now coming to see me tomorrow with all the information
signed my son up for the Khan academy a real help thank you so much for all the advice

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BastardGoDarkly · 13/09/2016 17:16

Best of luck, keep us in the loop, poor kid.

BlueFolly · 13/09/2016 19:38

I'm not a troll.

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