terrible twos...

[beginnersewer]

My 2.5yr old son is being a 2 year old... I've generally used the naughty corner (supernanny style - 1 warning then in the corner for 2 minutes then hug) but this isn't working all that well anymore because my main difficulties are currently the following:

1. Attention-seeking misbehaviour - if I go off and do anything other than being with him he will do something naughty to get me back again. In this situation he sees the naughty corner as a good thing because it involves me interacting with him. I try to ignore anything low level but yesterday he climbed on top of the dining table which I didn't want to ignore. On the other hand reacting to it has achieved his goal of getting my attention...
   
   
2. Linked to the above I think (i.e. attention seeking) - he will ask for help with something (eg get down from a chair) then when I go to help him he will change his mind and say he doesn't want to get down. I go away again then he changes his mind and gets me back again. Repeat 500 times... It's generally with things that he genuinely can't do by himself so it's difficult to ignore...
   
   When I say I'm going off to do something, I'm not talking anything frivolous or lengthy, just essential stuff like feeding the cat or cooking. I already sit him in front of a tv programme so I can do the final cooking of dinner as otherwise it's just not safe.
   
   He's at nursery two days a week and with me the rest of the time.
   
   Anyway, any tips gratefully received!

[allthecarbs]

He sounds like my 6 year old! He gets a real thrill of being 'naughty' and you can never really relax with him, although he is getting a lot better now.

The things I've found helped were toning down my reaction to the negative behaviour. Calmly explain why it's bad and move on, if they're not getting a big reaction they tend to get bored of it.

Be as positive with him as possible. Even if all he did was get down from the table the first time you asked tell him what a good boy he was. Any behaviour you like praise the crap out of it.
It annoyed mine at first as it wasn't going the way he planned but he soon started to enjoy trying to please me and be kind and helpful.

Remember you are the adult and you make the rules. If you say it's time to get down, it's time to get down. Get him down and then quickly distract him with something positive.

These aren't overnight fixes and it takes a lot of patience but they have definitely changed the way my son behaves. Good luck!

[ODog]

I think the word naughty step can invoke further 'naughty' behaviour.

For any really awful behaviour in my 2.3yo (eg hitting, kicking, biting) we do calming down in the conservatory on your own. Same process as super nanny naughty step but no forced apologies and lose the word naughty.

Other than that I ignore/distract as much as possible. Praise good behaviour. Say yes to as much as possible. Lots of attention when I can give it (I also have a 4mo so not always easy.

He's still a 2yo though so it's not fool proof but working for us right now.

[beginnersewer]

Thank you both. I do try to praise anything good (esp when he's playing quietly with his toys and my natural instinct would be to rush around getting things done before the next meltdown...).
I don't actually call it the 'naughty' corner to him, I just say 'if you do x you will stand in the corner'.

[thescruffiestgiantintown]

I'm a broken record on this but Janet Lansbury is brilliant on toddler behaviour. She has lots of free podcasts on her site.