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Hello. My 2nd child will be due when my 1st just turns 18 months

(23 Posts)
Ab87 Thu 08-Sep-16 23:12:56

Hi. Can people please tell me their experience of having a small gap like this between 2 or more children. How they found it and was it hard? Routines. Feeding solids/ dinners. Going out with 2 kids. Holidays with 2 little ones. Etc. Thank you so much.

firawla Fri 09-Sep-16 10:24:34

I had this gap between my 1st two and then again with the 3rd. I found it pretty manageable, it was a bit harder adding the 3rd tbh but not bad at all with the 1st two. I would say it's worth getting a decent double buggy, even if your older can walk well - it just makes life so easy. I also found Childrrns centres really valuable, we had a routine of going to certain activities every day and then when the baby slept I would get some 1:1 time in at home with the toddler. We didn't really go on holiday while they were tiny though but I'm sure it would have been okay. Now they're 8 and 6.5 (and 3rd is 5) and the small age gaps are great because they're into a lot of the same things and keep each other entertained - which is great for holidays etc as they have each other there as ready made friends

Ellarose85 Fri 09-Sep-16 19:32:11

There is 12 months and 2 weeks between my two.

It's hard but I have found it easier than I had feared.

Routine is key, if we deviate from it, everything goes to pot!

I haven't left the house with them both on my own yet (they are 8 weeks and 14 months now) except to the shops and the park. We have been on two UK holidays and it was tough going, you don't really get a break. I find being at home much easier as my toddler can roam around freely with out me worrying what he can injure himself with or break while I am dealing with the baby.

If you have any more questions, I will try my best to answer them smile

Nottalotta Sat 10-Sep-16 19:58:20

Following as I will be in the same situation. Thought it was going to be 20 months, had a scan Monday, it will actually be 18 months.

I worry about how on earth I am supposed to bf the baby when ds is charging about the place. With him I was basically confined to an armchair for about 6 weeks. Surely not possible again?

He also didn't like being put down and didn't sleep well. He wasn't a difficult baby (very cheery) but I think I'd like one that naps this time. 😀

penguinpie Sun 11-Sep-16 09:17:07

Following too as have a 10m old dd and have found out I'm pregnant again shock

Not actually sure how far along I am yet but I think about 6 weeks.

Have been doing LOTS of googling and reading about the positives, getting the baby phase and sleepless nights over and done with, the two of them being playmates etc. One thing I worry about is the fact my dd still doesn't sleep through the night- fingers crossed it happens in the next 8 months hmm

NotAPuffin Sun 11-Sep-16 09:22:32

There are 18 months between ours. It was tough for the first year or so but we're really glad we did it and would have done the same if we had gone again.

They're 6 and 4.5 at the moment and the best of friends, it's lovely to see them together.

luckiestgirl Sun 11-Sep-16 09:25:56

I have this gap. I love it. It was difficult for about three months when the baby won't be put down. Then much easier from six months when the baby can sit up alone.

Routine routine routine. Find out what works (took about 7 months to find a set pattern to our days that works) and stick to it.

Had a few issues with the older one hitting the younger one but that phase didn't last too long.

Basically you'll just muddle through the first year or so and then you'll be so used to it you won't know any different and you'll be a pro.

Having a toddler and a baby is still far easier than being heavily pregnant and having a toddler. Good luck. Just try and enjoy them.

mirren3 Sun 11-Sep-16 09:41:05

I had 16 months between my two, the first wee while was really hard until we got a routine going. When DS1 was having his afternoon nap I did my best to get DS2 sleeping too, that really helped. That and a sling! When DS2 was around 10-12 months it really improved, they would "play" together. I found it great as they did entertain each other as the got older, although they were double trouble sometimes. They are 29 and 28 now and still really close.

Chattycat78 Sun 11-Sep-16 12:25:19

I'm currently Living what I'm hoping is the hardest part of this. hmm. I have a 3 month old and an almost 20 month old (17 month gap).

I won't lie- the days I have them both alone are very very very hard. I'm also breastfeeding the baby and have had instances of the toddler not liking the attention I'm giving the baby and he has hit me and kicked me and the like.

Things which I'm finding helping so far are:

- using a sling for the baby for multi tasking.
- getting out to toddler groups and putting baby in a sling. Essential for toddler to burn off steam and for me to get adult conversation!
- lots of chocolate (for me!)smile
- not managed the synchronised routine yet but I am finding that I'm doing the same things in roughly the same order/at the same time each day which Helps.
- toddler is at nursery 2 days a week. He loves it and I need it although admittedly it's not A "break" Exactly as I still have to take care if the baby but it's easier than both Of them at once!

I'll see if I can think of any more! I'm still finding my feet i must admit.

chloechloe Sun 11-Sep-16 13:28:44

We will have 21 months between our two, having planned to have two close together. I'm planning on keeping DD1 in nursery as I think it will be hard to entertain her if having to BF a baby. Plus DD1 was a terrible napper when born and I had to spend the best part of the day trying to get her to have 5 x 30 min naps. Hopefully the next one won't be such a sleep resister!

Hopefully second time round I will be more chilled out and have a better idea of what I'm doing!

luckiestgirl Sun 11-Sep-16 20:17:24

chattycat Hang in there. It gets so much easier in a few months. Those first few months are tough. You sound like you're doing great.

OublietteBravo Sun 11-Sep-16 20:23:25

Mine have a similar age gap (19 months). It was hard when DS was born - especially as I couldn't just sleep when he did as I had a toddler to entertain I made DH do some of the night time feeds, because I needed to get some sleep in order to function.

Mine are now 12 and 10.5, and get on really well. It's a lovely age gap once they are older.

HerRoyalFattyness Sun 11-Sep-16 20:31:02

I have 19 months between my youngest 2.
They had to fit into the same routine because I have an older child to get to school so routine is very important. (also drives me nuts if I don't stick to routine)
I used a double for a while, then moved onto a buggy board. Also a sling was really useful for me. And I now have a backpack carrier which I use when using the pram would be difficult.
Meal times we all eat together. I have to keep those two separate though as DD will often feed DS2 her veggies grin
They are now 2 years 9 months and 13 months. They are the best of friends and I found there's been no jealousy as DD doesn't remember a time without DS2. It can be hard going when they are both having a bad night, but I was very lucky as DD has always been a good sleeper (unless she's unwell) and DS2 now mostly sleeps through.

AppleAndBlackberry Sun 11-Sep-16 20:37:19

I had this age gap, it was tiring but fine. I used Peppa Pig a bit, mainly for feeding the baby and we had a double buggy for going out etc. Started DD1 at preschool at 2y6m for 2 mornings which gave me a bit of a break, but I had them on my own until then. We didn't do too much, a couple of church-run/children's centre groups and seeing friends, park etc on other days.

LoopiusMaximus Sun 11-Sep-16 21:07:36

I have a 14month gap. They are now 22 months and 8 months. They are polar opposites. The baby is fantastic in the day but is a terrible sleeper and wakes anywhere between 3-10 times a night. The toddler is a fucking nightmare all day but sleeps 12 hours straight through at night.

The eldest constantly terrorises the baby and cannot be left alone for 2 mins.

They will hopefully become best friends and im hoping it'll be easier when the baby is mobile or even tries to sit unaided!

As others have said, routine is the key here. Also going out everyday helps even if it's just to stroll around tesco or for a walk.

Be kind to yourself. Sneak in any rest you can, even if it's just 2 minutes.

Grab ANY help offered with both hands from friends or family or anyone! We have had no offers of help yet. Both Grandparents are young, fit and retired but haven't so much as offered to babysit for 10 mins whilst I pop to the shop.

I've learnt to lower my standards. Don't expect too much of yourself in the first few months. Plan to tackle only one thing per day (or nothing at all).

Once I accepted that the house is going to be a cluttery mess most of the time and that I can't go out with perfect hair and makeup anymore life became easier!

LoopiusMaximus Sun 11-Sep-16 21:10:24

Ps as someone else mentioned - having a baby and a toddler is SO much easier than being pregnant with a baby/toddler!

Ab87 Tue 06-Dec-16 18:16:41

Thank you all so much for your responses it's definitely been helpful! Sorry for the late response I didnt realise I got so many replies! Bless you all and hope you all enjoy Xmas with your babies and loved ones - take it easy! Xxx

user1471461436 Tue 06-Dec-16 18:23:21

2 years exactly between mine. Hard at first when jealousy sets in when youre on your own and toddler wants milk every time baby does despite denying it seconds previously etc and when theyve both got a dirty bum or are tired/poorly. When mine were 3 and 1 it was really fun and actually quite easy. Now at 2 and 4 the 2 year old is alnost as big as the four year old and still takes advantage of being "the baby" and they fight sometimes, but also play really nicely!

Turneeps Wed 07-Dec-16 07:28:48

Interesting thread to read. I am pregnant (going to be a 14 month gap I think). I am petrified, DD was a challenging newborn and I still feel exhausted all the time.

Did anyone not go back to work and just start your maternity leave for baby 2 early? Seems weird to only go back for 2 months.

Redkite10a Wed 07-Dec-16 07:56:56

We have a 21 month gap, DD is 4 weeks old.

I have definitely found having a newborn plus toddler easier than being heavily pregnant with a toddler. I really struggled looking after the toddler by myself from 39 weeks pregnant - I went 10 days over : (.

Things I've found helpful so far:
- a sling, not just because I can't put my refluxy baby down, but also because my toddler is over affectionate with the baby and tries to bounce her to the ceiling or pick her up if she's put down.
- my toddler still going to nursery 2 days a week so I have some time to get jobs done
- my toddler still has a 2 hour midday nap which means I can have a rest
- TV to entertain my toddler from about 5 pm when the sleep deprivation kick's
- Going out on the days my toddler is home, although it needs to be somewhere my toddler can't get into trouble when I have to take my eye off him to look after the baby

A friend with a similar gap told me the hardest part is when the baby starts crawling and starts getting all the toddlers toys. It then gets easier from about age 1 when they start playing together.

AllTheBabies Wed 07-Dec-16 08:00:15

Marking place. Dc3 is due when dd2 will be 17 months. I had a 5 year gap between my first two so this is the other end of the spectrum for me!

MiaowTheCat Wed 07-Dec-16 08:09:14

11 months between my two (wait 6 years for one and then they come along like buses). Honestly - it's rough till you get your head around a schedule that works for you, then it does feel a bit like you're on a treadmill of constantly having to do "stuff" (and I had awful PND)... but it's well worth it in the long term as mine are so close now they're 3 and 4.

I did spend a lot of time at the local soft play which doesn't charge for non walkers just so I could unleash the eldest in a safe environment!

icanteven Wed 07-Dec-16 08:22:14

Mine are 2 years apart, and the start was hard - so many NAPPIES! I abandoned cloth nappies, for one thing. One Child A is sleeping through, you will be fine. The worst were the nights when they both woke up.

A good double buggy is a must. We had a Phil & Teds. eBay or wherever, but you really need a very good one because as they get bigger it gets HEAVY. On the other hand, Child A will be small enough to nap, so if you can get them both asleep in the pram at the same time you can breathe for a little bit!

Now that they are bigger, they are inseparable. They really love each other. Having them close together has been wonderful and if I was doing it again I'd aim for an even smaller gap.

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