I've just put my 13 month old down for his afternoon nap hungry. He's gone to sleep but I feel like the worst mother alive. I'm sitting here sobbing - I'm at the end of my tether with his refusal to eat.
He was premature so we weaned him at 7 months - he loved food and took to it quickly. From the beginning he loved it - ate anything and everything so long as it was delivered to him on a spoon. He had no interest at all in finger foods. Then at 9/10 months the problems started - he refused to eat anything other then the Ella's packets (the ones meant for 7 month olds). This lasted for 3 months - it meant that for this period he only ate Ella's packets, anything else got spat out, thrown on the floor, smeared across the high chair etc.. He always drank his milk (formula and then cows milk once we transitioned over). At 12 months we seemed to turn a corner - it wasn't without issues at meal times but slowly we have managed to get him to eat home cooked food and he has begun to eat 'lumps' - they have to be soft but he will eat them.
However the past two/three days have been hell. Meal times have consisted of him screaming, sobbing and refusing to eat anything. All food just gets chucked on the floor. I'm giving him meals that loved last week - so I know that he likes it, can eat it. I'm using the Ella's weaning cook book (the meals for 12 months plus) - he loved the packets so much I thought the meals might go down well as well. He is just refusing to eat. My feeling is that it is a control thing - he doesn't want to be fed BUT can't yet feed himself. I sit him down with the bowl and two spoons - one for him and one for me. He will still drink his milk but I was so stressed at lunch time (he was screaming and screaming - god knows what the neighbours think) that I could feel a rage building so I had to put him in his cot before I lost it. I feel so ashamed.
His routine is:
- wakes at 7.30/8am
- breakfast at 8am (porridge with fruit) - he always eats this
- snack at 10am (toast with peanut butter/ fruit) - 50/50 whether he gets or not
- lunch at 12;30 (cooked meal followed by 200ml milk)
- nap at 1pm-3.30/4pm
- snack at 4.30pm (yoghurt and fruit) always eats this
- dinner at 6.30pm (cooked meal followed by 200ml milk)
- bath and bed at 7.30pm.
He is a fantastic sleeper, walked early and met all milestones. He is generally easy, laid-back and happy/ smily. He just doesn't seem to want to eat much at all and then goes crazy if I try and make him. He was a lazy breast feeder - would eat to take the edge off his hunger and then give up. I persevered for three months before the HV told me to top up with formula as he was losing too much weight. He loved formula/ bottle feeding and still drinks all his milk. He is now on 25th centile for weight - although he was last weighed at a year when he was eating (Ella's packets). I think he will have lost some weight since then. He has seven teeth.
I don't know what to do - do I just offer the food and just give up if he refuses in the belief that he will eat when hungry? How long do I try to feed him for? Should I still give him his milk if he refuses to eat his food? Should I give finger foods even though they all end up on the floor?
I'm at a complete loss and just want someone (anyone) to tell me what to do. I feel like the food battle has been going on for 4 months now (tbh I think we stress about him losing weight too much because of the breast feeding issues we had - the HV made me feel like shit) and I've had enough. I'm also 25 weeks pregnant with ongoing morning sickness so I'm also exhausted and sick of feeling sick! I don't want to feel stressed as I'm worried about another premature birth - I think DS's prem birth was due to extreme stress I was under at work at the time. Please help.
